Blessings abound

Last Friday night I went to a blessings shower for Jaime in Grand Rapids. It was about ten of us, just sharing what Jaime's friendship means to us and special Bible verses that we hope she finds comforting while she is going through this all with little Sam. It was needless to say incredibly emotional for all involved..especially Jaime. There were lots of moments that I was so overcome with the power of what it actually means to be a Christian to see how palpable Christ is always but especially when people truly need him. One of the most profound moments that I told Jaime about yesterday was when she was talking about how much Christ has grown her through this ordeal and how she is handling this so much different then when her dad was sick. To back up, two years ago, Jaime's father had to have a liver transplant. I didn't know Jaime until right after he had the transplant and I remember last summer we would often talk about his health, my mom's health and of course all the blogs of people I know and don't know. You could defintely sense a fear and a mistrust in Christ from the both of us!:) But on Friday night she said that when her dad was sick she would also be pleading with God during prayer "Please God, don't let him die" and now her prayers for Sam and this situation are "Please God, whatever your will is, I trust you but please don't leave me" She said there is such freedom in not being exhausted by feeling like you have to plead your case for Christ but to instead let Him carry you through..especially through the valleys!
Its interesting to me to be someone that is actually close to the person going through the valley/crisis. Before I have always been an aquaintance or an outsider looking in. But, with Jaime, we're close friends and neighbors, which has allowed me the privledge to have a closer look at what people actually go to on a day to day basis in situations like these. I will admit its a crappy situation. No one should have to deliver their little boy and then turn him over to surgeons two days later so he can have his chest opened up. We all know that our lives could end at any moment but to know that there is more of a likelyhood that your precious little boy may only be here days...yuck. One thing I know for sure is that I would never want to do it without a faith and more importingly FAITH in CHRIST. He does sustain us and give us all we need.
Please pray for Jaime and Sam on Monday..Sam's birthday! More importingly pray for Sam and his surgeons and the entire family on Thursday as he undergoes his first open heart surgery. Pray also specifically for their daughters Avery,6 and Makenna almost 4. That those of us, back here in Kalamazoo that will be taking care of them in these coming weeks have the right words and actions to keep them happy and occupied and not too stressed and anxious about this new life.
S

NORMAL!

I got my test results from my quad test today...a week early! and they were normal! AMEN!! AMEN!! AMEN!! I am so happy and thankful but honestly with all that Jaime is going through with the impending birth of Sam in a few weeks my heart is still so heavy. I actually can't write more b/c I am on my way to go to a "Blessings shower" for her in GR. A bunch of us are getting together to read scripture,poems,good thoughts and to just pray over this little one and their entire family.
I will post more later about the name game:)

S

More girl drama!

First of all...its a girl! I wish I could say absolutely for certain that this baby is perfectly healthy. She is a mover and a shaker and it was hard for the tech to get good measurements. So, out of four fetal neucal mesurements one was slightly elevated so I am having the Alfa Fetal Protein test to hopefully definetively rule out down syndrome.
I am slightly worried..but since I saw how much she was moving and the levels weren't even that high I am not in total panic mode. It is going to stink waiting two weeks to find out and perhaps longer if more testing is needed but at the end of the day we love this little girl already...down syndrome or not!
Please pray that we would get through these next two weeks by leaning on our faith not our fears!
Sue

Great Wolf Lodge fun!

Hello
We ended up making it to Great Wolf Lodge and having a fantastic time. It was a much needed break from all the regular routines we have around here. Not to mention that daddy/hubby has been very busy with tax season this year and we missed him. It was nice to just be with our family and enjoy our children. I really felt like I especially bonded with Caroline there which was nice considering she can definetly try my patience.
In other news, we purchased a mini van today. I am excited to pick it up on Weds. Its a used 2006 Town and Country. Its in great shape and has low miles which is what we were looking for. It will certainly come in handy when baby number three joins us in September. As I mentioned in my last post, my mom has relapsed with her muscle disease. She is having CAT scans done on Tuesday, so please pray for good results and non anxious spirits!:) Friday am is my big u/s and I will post both on FB and here on Friday pm. Big week for us! Praying for all good news!:)

Flares and sucky birthdays!

Its been a bad fourth birthday around west Michigan. Today is Matthew's 4th birthday. After the poor little guy has suffered with horrible abdominal pain and constipation for the past seven days, he came down with a high fever last night. This morning we were suppose to go to Great Wolf Lodge this morning but alas with fever boy we couldn't go. I knew we were in trouble when I told him and he said, "Ok mommy" Bless his little heart. All he said was, " Thats ok, mommy, I know its not Christmas, but I would really love to watch Frosty" Too cute for words! It took him back to the doctors to make sure he wasn't having anything serious going on with his tummy. They think its just bad luck and he caught a virus! I feel like we can't catch a break from the sickness around here. First Caroline had the runs for ten days then an ear infection and now Matthew and his tummy troubles.
In other crappy health news, my mom's dermatamytotsis is back. She got some of the symptoms about a month ago but was in denial. She finally went in for a blood test and her level that measures when its flaring are slightly elevated. The good news is that she has caught it much, much earlier than when she was initially diagnosed almost two years ago but she has to go back on predisone and metheltrexate,which is a cancer drug which caused her to lose a lot of hair last time. This time she has no muscle involvement which is great. We're just praying that it goes back in remission soon and that all the CT scans she will have come back clean with no signs of anything else going on. You all know me and my tendancy to overthink, and bascially freak out. I am happy to report that I am not doing this. I think I have come to terms with the fact that I am 34, my mom is nearly 62..people have things come up when they get older. Freaking out and fretting won't make anything easier..
I am anxious to get our u/s over with. I will admit I don't have as much peace about this upcoming procedure. I am pretty excited to find out what this little baby is though!
So, tommorrow we're off to Great Wolf Lodge..with lots and lots of Motrin!:)

S

May 1st

I was at the doctors today. Heard the little heartbeat...150 and got my u/s date. May 1st we will be finding out what the baby is. I met with the midwife, even though I am a scheduled c sec, I have met with the midwife twice now. She is so nice and understanding. We spent alot of time talking today about my neurotic self and she made me feel completly normal..just what you want in a medical professional! The baby is sitting really high which surprised me but I have felt alot of moment and higher up which explains it! I am still conflicted on what this baby is. Somedays I am sure its a boy, others sure its a girl. Only time will tell!

Caroline has been horribly sick with a version of rotovirus. She has had diahrea ( I can never spell this word;) for over ten days now...uggh! I think finally, today she is better! Poor little girl has been in so much pain, her little behind is just raw. Last night she took her diaper off twice and was screaming "Ooowee, owee, mommy huggie" Just about broke my heart. But, she won't let me put cream on her so it takes Jeff holding her down and me putting on the cream to accomplish that mission. I was sick yesterdaywith a fever, chills and a sore throat. I feel much better today thankfully!

Easter weekend should be filled with fun. Jeff's sister Jenny is coming to town and so we will be there on Sat. Sunday is church and our church's first annual Easter egg hunt. Afterwards we're going to Barb's for dinner. My mom is back from FL and coming up next week to help me prepare for next weekend's garage sale!

Happy Easter!
S

My vain imagination

Last night I was so gripped with fear over this new little one growing inside that I was wishing I could take a Zanax!:( I have been much better about this lately b/c of the Esther Bible study that I just concluded by Beth Moore. One thing that she said that will stick with me for evermore was that God's grace isn't intended for our vain imagination. Just because I can work up every horrifying scenario in my brain dosen't mean that qualifies me for grace and peace through Christ. In fact, I would reckon to say that it downright angers God when we lack trust in Him and His plan. I will admit thinking about that make the anxiety all the worse. I just keep praying through it by repeating the words.."VAIN IMAGINATION" over and over. The anxiety passed and I could almost swear that I could hear God sighing thinking " This women is driving me crazy!":)
Short and sweet but on my mind...

To know..

Ok Bloggers. You have spoken and I am listening. Whenever our u/s is we will be finding out the sex of the baby:)
In other news, yesterday was my 34th birthday. I had a very nice day that started with MOPS and then Barb came over so I could go get a pedicure and do some maternity clothes shopping. When I got home from the mall, Matthew was acting really weird and saying his throat and stomach hurt. Barb said he didn't eat much while she was there which immediately alarmed me b/c he eats like a little piggie all afternoon usually. Sure enough, about ten minutes after she left poor little dude puked all over the bathroom and partially on me:( Thankfully, Jeff let me go ahead and continue with my plans to meet several girlfriends out for dinner. It was a wonderful night with great friends. Matthew did get sick one more time but that was it. He woke up this morning completly normal and full of energy! Thank goodness! I am not feeling well at all and have gotten sick a few times myself today. I think it might be a combo of flu bug/pregnant bug. Hopefully Jeff and Caroline will escape it.
On a more serious note. I have mentioned the McMama Blog here before. Please go there if you never have www.mycharmingkids.net and pray for little Stellan and get some amazing insights on the power of prayer and God's grace in difficult times.
Later!
S

To know or not to know...that is the question bloggers!

We have a little under a month until we could determine the sex of said Simpson baby to be:) I have never been one of those people who wanted to wait till the end to find out..I mean its a surprise in April or its a surprise in September. But, I have had random changes of heart as of late. I mean, we have one of each and got rid of all of our baby clothes anyways. Its not like we're going to be going out and buying a ton of clothes no matter what. Remember people we're in a recession:)!!
Truly, all I care about on the date of our u/s is that little baby is healthy and happy and doing all he or she should be at 20 weeks. Which "parts" it comes with really doesn't matter because this baby is sleeping in Caroline's pink room no matter what for awhile at least! Actually, it will sleep in our room for at least three months before we have Matthew, our dead to the world sleeper share a room with baby bro or sis.
So, I am potentially leaving it up to you, fellow bloggers, let your voice be heard!

No more naps...sigh!

Caroline is becoming more and more of a official big girl. Her language is really picking up and she isn't really napping consistently anymore. This stinks but its all ok when she lays her weary little girly head down on her toddler bed at 6:30 every evening to sleep. When she naps she is up WAY TOO LATE. We are talking 11-11:30p.m. and you can still hear her running around, taking off her diaper, etc:) The other night we found her completly naked wrapped in her blankies like she was thinking,"I prefer to sleep au natural!" It was cute! I should have snapped a pic!
She is obsessed with Dora and would literally watch her all day if I let her.
She is a bug and a pistol but so darn cute that I just want to eat her all up!

S

A little dab will (sometimes) do you!

The past two days have been tough in the parenting world of Susan Simpson. I won't go into every hairy detail but some of my week included the following:
- falling down half a flight of stairs while holding Caroline. Thankfully neither of us sustained major damage but I did manage to badly cut and bruise my ankle and leg.
- Caroline running into the parking lot and almost making it to a major street b4 being saved my the manager at the resturant we were eating at. If you were wondering where I was, I was trying to console an hysterical almost four year old and failed to see her dodge past me!
- Many, many meltdowns!
Too many of my nights ended we me feeling very much alone and crying. I am in a valley of sorts. Our Pastor spoke of these very such things last Sunday and while I listened I thought of people in my life who I feel are "justified" to call themselves valley dwellers. But, as I tried to wrangle my screaming 2 and almost 4 year old from the park yesterday I thought, " No, this sucks, this certainly ain't no frickin mountain top, this is a crappy, crappy valley!" We were with Jaime and her girls and you could just see it on her face that she was thinking " Sucks to be you." (Of course this was in a nice, well meaning sort of way:) She called me later to see if I was ok and I said that I realized some things. I need to DAILY go to GOD and seek HIS will and WISDOM and STRENGTH for my life. To not just throw my arms up in defeat and think " This is as good as it gets." I got my MOPS monthly magazine the other day and there was an article that so directly spoke to my heart that I cut it out and it nows hangs on my fridge. The women who wrote the article could most definetly have been me ten years ago and she made four points that I feel are so very, very true. They are the following:
My children were created for a specific reason and are a gift to me.
We're on a good journey despite our ups and downs.
God will use these difficulties for His good and wise purposes!
I can be OK, even when my children are not!This last one especially hit close to home. They are 4 and 2...I am dangerously close to 34...so acting like I am 4 or 2...not cool!
So, I just have to go to God, be grateful for all I have and all that isn't in my valley and keep on keeping on.
And now for the title of my post! After Jeff got home and we fed the kids, I left to "let off some steam". I was planning on going directly to Barnes and Nobles to get a nice cup of tea ( since I can't have a much needed glass of wine). But as I drove there I caught a glimpse of my tear streaked,pastie white face and pulled into Kohl's instead. I first went to the maternity section and let me just digress and say how much I hate shopping for maternity clothes...they are so UGLY! Anyways, after a few minutes of trying on horribly unflattering shirts and pants, I b-lined to to the makeup section. Where to my great joy discovered Kohl's has a ton of free samples to try! So, I proceeded to completly redo my makeup, while the lady who worked the section looked at me with a stare that seemed to say, " Not the point lady, your suppose to buy stuff!" To which I shot back an equally terrifying look that hopefully said, " Don't mess with me lady, I am a pregnant mom on the edge here!" As I walked out, I even topped it all of with a few squirts of cheap Ashley Judd perfume. I took my freshly coifed, cheap smelling self to Barnes and Nobles and ordered my hot tea and a cookie to boot. I gathered a slew of magazines and along with my Bible and Esther bible study sat down to two hours of pure bliss. Just me, my IPOD, tea and reading matl's.
The point in all of this to me is a little dab of makeup may do you but a little dab of time with GOD and his word most certainly will NOT!
Thanks for listening!
On a really positive note, I saw the bambino on u/s today and it has arms and legs now!! Its looking more and more like a real baby! I just know this one is going to be my quiet, calm child...one can always hope!:)
Have a fantastic weekend!

Ray LaMontagne

I have been listening to this musician alot lately and LOVE him! I discovered him about three years ago and really have never heard a song of his I don't love. I especially love "Let it be me" and "You are the best thing"
I recommend downloading immediately:)
Happy listening!

Free to be you and me..

Remember that song?! Today, I met Jaime and the girls at McDonald's for lunch. Its kinda of becoming a regular thing for us. Its rare moments where we have the kids but the mix of french fries and a germ laden playland keep them mostly occupied for the most part so we can just talk. And it usually it goes to "theology" and baby Sam. Even before these events happened to Jaime, I found in her a kindered spirit of being able to be very "real" about how I think about faith and loss and fear. She said to me a few weeks ago that its nice to be able to talk to me b/c I am morbid. Some may take that as a negative but I know she meant it more as a compliment. I think she feels like she can disclose more of what she is thinking about all of this and not feeling like she has to "sugar" coat or "faith" coat anything. She can just say what she is thinking. Today we were debating Old Testament God with New Testament
" Christ" :) We like New Testament God way more..mercy!!
I like that since finding out about Sam that I can still be myself with Jaime. Our friendship hasn't changed. I can be me and she can be her! I love how God brings fabulous people into my life!
Hope you all have someone that you can be free with!
S

Samuel Ekkens

Jaime and Steve have chosen a name for their upcoming arrival, Samuel! I love this name and am happy to be able to call him by name in my prayers. They have set up a caring bridge page for little Sam. Please visit and pray for them! Here is the link

Dear Friends and Family,
I created a CaringBridge site to keep you up to date on Samuel Ekkens. CaringBridge is a nonprofit organization that helps friends and families stay connected.
You can visit Samuel's CaringBridge site at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/samuelekkens

We're keeping busy around here. Busy week of MOPS, its spa day..fabulous and I have a massage scheduled tommorrow that is offered for free for pregnant moms!! Love it! Two days of pampering! I have a prayer request for myself and the kids, I am really trying to NOT scream at them. It was getting better but I had a wake up call this weekend about being more merciful and loving in my parenting and really want to get this under control. So please specifically pray that I would work ON NOT SCREAMING when I have asked for the 100th time that Matthew not body slam his sister from the arm of the couch:)Ahh parenting!
S

If ________ then________!

I am doing the most recent Beth Moore study on Esther at Southridge Church. I will fully admit that with all the yucky, nauseousness, I have been really bad about getting there on Monday nights and have been even worse about completing my homework. But, last night, as I lay on the couch after yet another bout of dry heaving, I thought to myself, "Just cancel Barb and stay home" Jeff was working late and so barb was coming over to stay with the kids. Then I thought, " But, if I stay home I have to put the kids to bed, at least I can just sit and maybe learn something, just go" Nice mommy huh? So, I went and once again Beth and the HS powerfully spoke to me.
Last night's discussion was on FEAR and how it can ruin our walks and how the devil loves to use FEAR to bring us away from TRUSTING in our FAITH and the LORD. One profound thing Beth said that will forever stick with me is if ______ happened, meaning the worst thing you could imagine then what happens? Beth disclosed that one of her greatest fears is her husband falling in love with someone else and leaving her. She said she has really worked through this with God over the last 14 months and felt like when she would be fearing this God would say, then what? To which she listed off several reactions that would take place if indeed her husband left her b/c he fell in love with someone else. By the way, I couldn't imagine that being a fear for her! Why would anyone leave that godly women, just goes to show us how we're all human I guess. Anyways, she finished the sentence by saying, " If my husband left me, then my God would still be FAITHFUL, he would still be the SAME GOD! What a simple yet such a freeing statement. Because its so wonderfully true.
My blanks would be If one of my children died, then GOD WOULD STILL BE GOD! and He would carry me through it. I have seen this carried out in many of the women's lives I am privledged to know. I know that statement is true for Shelly and Jaime and JoEllen and in the lives of other's people's lives I read about. It just didn't seem to apply to me. Now, I am not saying that I welcome those things happening but at the end of the day FEARING them will no longer rule my life or my FAITH. I am sure some of you out there may be thinking," DUH!" But it was a profound moment for me. I nearly cried at the joy of not having to fear. Of knowing no matter what if, God will never leave me.

Insurance prayers

Jaime and Steve went to Ann Arbor yesterday to get a consult with the specialists there. It seems that Priority Health would cover that part of it but is leaning toward not allowing them to go there once the baby is born. After going there, Jaime is certain this is where the baby needs to be in order for the best possible chance of survivial and quality of life. They faced some pretty grim and hard realities yesterday. It was so hard to hear her talk about all of this and not be able to "fix" anything or really say anything that seemed helpful. I know all she really needs is to be able to talk and be heard and I am glad to be able to do that.
Please pray that PH would cover U of M for them. Tell everyone you know that prays to pray...

My best poker face

As I lay awake last night praying for Jaime, the title of the this post came to me. Why was I awake in the midst of the night praying for my dear friend..b/c I found out last night that her insurance has denied them going to Ann Arbor. Its so frustrating and unfair. My heart literally felt like it was going to break for her last night. She is so overwhelmed and feeling like she isn't being able to give her baby the best possible medical care. But, then I felt like God was saying, " What if Ann Arbor isn't where I want this baby to be?" I found some comfort in this thought. That perhaps, the hospital where he will go is really where God wants him to be. That God has it all figured out and we should just pray that God's will be done.
Then I thought of my own little baby and all the anxiety that goes with wondering if everything will be ok and thought.." Don't give me anything difficult God, I don't want to grow through something like that..I might not keep the faith, so don't test me." Then I thought, " You stupid, stupid girl, you can't bargain with God, what will be will be." Don't you all wish you were sleeping next to me?:)
So, the poker face thought comes from me thinking I can not exactly let God what I am thinking. Like he doesn't know my every thought, desire, fear..etc
I remember when Josh Buck spoke at our church awhile ago about all he and his family have endured he said something that has stuck with me deeper than anything I have ever heard...He said, " God is more interested in you becoming more like Him than he is in you being happy here on this earth." Wow...pretty powerful words. And, truthfully, is exactly why believing in God scares the crap out of me. I totally admit to wanting the easy, happy, road really traveled. God, well his dosen't seem to be too fond of that way of life.
Not sure why I am posting all of this..probably b/c my friend's baby is gravely sick and his future is unknown, I hurt for her and worry that something equally crappy could one day happen to me. Maybe, just a guess..

Zofran,,my new best friend

So I have posted about how the nausea and vomiting of this pregnancy is really getting to me. I spent most of the weekend sleeping in bed. It was not fun! You know that feeling you have when you have the stomach flu and your just about to puke and that rush of salivia pours into your mouth as you run into the bathroom? That is me..24-7. I called on Friday afternoon and they told me to come in today for a B6 shot. Then, this weekend I had another bout of mild spotting so I called this morning and they switched the apt to a midwife apt to check out the spotting. I did get the B6 shot which hurt like a mother and they also did another ultrasound to check out beanie baby who is still doing wonderfully. This time it was in the real u/s room with the "big" machine. You could see the little arm and leg buds...really cool. Beanie's heartrate was 169 which is good. Not that I was too worried, for real this time:), afterall isn't puking your guts out a sign of a healthy pregnancy for goodness sake. Apparently my body just likes to shed some blood in early pregnancy.
They also gave me Zofran which is what they give cancer patients undergoing chemo and radiation and boy does it work! I feel better right now then I have in two weeks!
Some prayer requests for Jaime and her situation
They are running into some insurance issues with having to go to Ann Arbor, pray that they would be resolved...this is huge in terms of costs!
They are scheduled to go to Ann Arbor this Friday to see the specialists. Pray for miraculous good news. We know our God can do anything in this baby's life!
Pray for peace as it all gets more and more real to them!
S

one tiny heartbeat

Is what we saw on Wednesday afternoon at the doctor's office. I was very happy and so was the daddy to be! I would have been surprised had we not seen one b/c I have been so sick. We're talking lay on the couch feel like I have the flu, sleep all day, dry heave when I am not..sick. Its been horrible. I am on phenegran every six hours which helps some but makes me so tired. Its been a tough week. I am feeling pretty discouraged but then I remember that this will all be worth it when we hold that little bundle in September. I also try and remind myself that there are so many people out there who would die to have one child and to be able to get pregnant so easily. But, then sometimes the sarcastic part of my mind thinks.."Oh yah..take my fertile myrtleness!" Just kidding.
This weekend should be moderatly survivable. Jeff came home early today and I was able to rest in our room for a couple hours without kids. Later tonight we're watching "Fireproof" b/c we're starting that bible study on Sunday night. Tommorrow Jeff has to work ALL day! Then when he comes home I am meeting some girls from church for dinner. Sunday we have the regular church and small group.
That is about all..I think I might toss my cookies! Hope your all better than me!
S

Pukey

That is how I feel. I felt fine until today and then I woke up and felt "Yuck!" Thankfully it comes and goes and isn't all day like my pregnancy with Matthew. Now, I may be counting my chickens a little too early, tommorrow it could be pukesville all day. Lets hope not! Since I have had gastric bypass surgery, eating isn't an option...its a necessity for this little bean to grow big and strong.
I went in to the OB yesterday with some light, almost miniscule spotting, they did an ultrasound and said not to expect to see a heartbeat just yet. I didn't get to see a heartbeat but there was a sac and a little yolk sac. I have a regular u/s scheduled for next Weds and there should be one by then. The doctor said everything looks great. I would have felt a wee more convinced had we seen that little flicker, but I figure if the medical professional isn't worrying, why should I? Your all probably thinking, "LIAR!!" " Your totally worrying" In all honestly, not, feeling pukey is oddly reassuring!:)
The kids have been really great lately, much more mellow and fun. We went to a waterpark in Frankenmuth last Friday and had a BLAST! It was just me and the kids with my girlfriend and her family. It was probably one of the most satisfactory days I have had as a mom. It was totally one of the situations that could have been a disaster but happily it was smooth sailing. This week is fairly busy with MOPS, a field trip for Matthew to a gymnastics center and a girls night this Saturday.
Please keep little beanie in your prayers that soon he/she will have a heartbeat to show this expectant and ok, somewhat anxious mommy!:)

Praise God!

I just to Jaime and she got the results from the amino and the baby doesn't have one of the Trisonomies that cause babies to die within hours of their births. What a praise! Now, they begin the journey to Ann Arbor and meeting with the specialists to find out what happens to this little man,yet to be named once he arrives. I am so thankful that this news was delivered. I am praying for a miracle, that God would heal this little baby and he would be able to tell everyone what His God did for him! I am praying that Jaime and Steve and their little ones Makenna and Avery would feel peace and strength from their God over these next months.
Matthew overheard me talking to a friend who called to see if Jaime had heard anything yet and he came up and said,
"Mama..Jaime's baby has a sick heart."
"We need to pray that God will heal him"
" God can heal him and make his heart whole."
Amen little man!

Freak in overdrive

That would pretty much describe me! God must just laugh at me as he watches from above. A week ago I was saying to Jeff.." I am so glad I am not pregnant. I couldn't take all that stress of worrying about it all again!" " I am so glad we're done...phew" Fast forward a week and here I am in the throws of full throttle anxiety. Please pray that I would just chill and realize that this is indeed one of those situations where I have NO control. Worrying for the next nine months is senseless..my mind knows this but my heart already loves this baby very much and wishes it were September 10th and that part was over. Of course then I would be blogging about how I am obessesing over worrying that something will happen to him or her b/c they are out...

and the madness continues!

NOT ME THURSDAY

OK, so its suppose to be not me Mondays..but this was to good to wait...

I most definetly did not take a pregnancy test and it came back positive!
I can't be having a baby in September...
or can I ??

Yes, its true, anyone who knows me knows I can't keep a secret.
In all seriousness..we're happy but completly shocked and feeling ill equipped to handle another bundle. But, we know God never gives us more thatn we can handle..right!!:) Please pray that this little bundle is being perfectly knit together and that in September we would happily welcome another Simpson into the world!

Bet I shocked the stink out of most of you..huh!

S

Loving Caroline

I have blogged numerous times before on the challenges of Caroline's personality. She is strong willed and determined to say the least. But, I have come in these past few weeks to embrace her little personality in a new way. To try and look at the challenging moments more like teaching moments instead of either a)giving her what she wants or b) freaking out on her! Both Jeff and I have come to realize that if you can make it through fifteen minutes of unadulterated screaming,she usually gives up. Now this is USUALLY, she has been known to go on for up to 45 minutes.
Yesterday she had a ped opthomology apt in GR. She was being fairly strong willed with the doctor and he just laughed and sympathized b/c evidently his 8 year old daughter was just like Caroline as a toddler. He then proceeded to tell me of a study that found that strong willed children are less likely to be influenced by peer pressure. I pray that is the case with little Squeak, as she is affectionately known. That has been my prayer for her for sometime, as her stubborness has become more evident to us. That she will use it for good, to stand for what is right and be a shining example to her peers instead of leading the pack into bad choices. I always pray that she would be surrounded by great friends who hold her accountable when we're not there to do that as much anymore. To be honest, thinking about my kids growing up to that age where they are on thier "own" so to speak freaks me out. Sure, this season has it challenges but at the end of the day, I know where they have been, what they've watched, who they have hung out with and that they are safely sleeping in my home.
I am not sure where this post came from. I guess, its because although raising Caroline isn't so easy, with all her requests for "guggies" and to watch "Chanted" aka "Enchanted" and her contagious belly laugh, loving Caroline is one of the easiest things I have ever been lucky enough to do!

Prayers please

I have another post brewing,as my computer is now fixed..but I have an urgent prayer request for you all. My neighbor and good friend Jaime is 20 weeks pregnant with a little boy who they found out this week only has 1/2 of his heart. They think he doesn't have any other chromosome issues but won't know anymore until the have an amnio in a few weeks. Jaime and her husband Steve are strong Christians,but obviously they are devastated and overwhelmed. Pray that they would have peace and doctors and other medical professionals who can guide them through this scary road!
Tough stuff!
S

Overhauled!

I am back in the land of computers! Nick, our friend had many stuggles with this blast computer but was able to bring it back to us and for that we are very grateful!
As I type this, Jaime's little girls Makenna and Avery are over playing with Matthew. Caroline has retired for the evening:) My heart is so heavy for them. I just want to be able to fix it. I was over at thier house today and she was sharing some of her thoughts with me and I just hate to see anyone hurt like that but especially a good friend. I am praying that God would reveal himself to them in mighty ways and that they would feel peace in the midst of this awful storm.
Ironically, last weekend I was at Camp Barakel with our Youth group. It was hands down one of the most profound spiritual experiences I have had as a Christian. I was so moved by the speaker and felt the Holy Spirit moving in that sanctuary like I haven't in many, many years! I felt like God was speaking directly to me and basically the jist was.."Get off your catukus and start growing..FOLLOW me daily..I have things you need to do and your wasting your time and life.." Fast forward three days and I find out several things, one of which was the situation with Jaime and the baby, where my friends and family NEED me to be strong in all ways..but especially in my FAITH. I feel overhauled in so many ways and this week was a good one in regards to getting back on track. I have been very dedicated to prayer..sadly devasting news tends to do that to a person..I joined BSF again and am deep into the "life of Moses", I am making better choices about what I watch and listen to. I am appreciating my beautiful healthy little boy and girl even when they are being horribly naughty and stubborn..they are here,they are alive, their hearts are fully formed and beating and I cherish them even in the not so fun times.
This is week one, we will see where I am at week 56,16,226... I'd like to think I will remain steadfast, although knowing that I am likely to stumble. I am so blessed to serve a Lord who always lets me come back...

Christmas be gone!

As I sit and type this it is indeed Christmas. We are in Chicago with my family. We woke up this morning at our house and the kids opened up all their presents. Matthew was so into it! It was really sweet. Caroline just kept wanting us to open up the Playdo she received and repedatedly kept screaming.."PLAYDO!!" Matthew was overwhelmed with joy with each and every present. He also got such a kick out of Santa eating the cookies and milk and the reindeer eating all the carrots we left.
Jeff and I had an enjoyable Christmas Eve. I decided to branch out from my families tradition of eating a homemade Italian feast on Xmas Eve(complete with homemade meatballs and sauce)for a heavy appetizer feast. Since my surgery, I can't really eat spaghetti anymore so that is what we did. Then I made Jeff watch "Its a Wonderful life" which he proceeded to verbally attack. How can you not like that movie??
I am in back in Portage now, at Kim and Wes's listening to them argue amongst themselves so its hard to focus. Actually, its only Jessica complaining that she can't go with the Youth group to Camp Barakel. I am going and looking foward to it. Its suppose to be an awesome camp...Jessica will be missing out:)
I de-Christmased the house today..except for the tree which will come down tommorrow! After Christmas, decorations only depress me! It has been a great season though..alot of fun at various parties and get togethers and no family fights! Tommorrow night for New Years Matthew and I are going to some friends in grand Rapids for the night. Jeff, who has been battling a sinus infection and upper respitory infection is staying home. Caroline has also been sick with a bad cough too so they aren't up for whooping it up! I am not sure how much "whooping" will be going on with 8 small children! It should be a fun time! Happy New Year!

My computer is still out of commission but should be fixed shortly!

Dead computer

My beloved Facebook has betrayed me! It has officially "killed" my computer. I suppose some would say its my own fault..I mean who clicks on random things when we all know that is a one way ticket to virusville. It got sick quickly on Tuesday afternoon and was a goner by Wednesday morning. Thankfully our friend Nick is a computer wiz and his lovely wife Katie "medi vac" it to their house on Thursday. So,hopefully we will be up and running again shortly.
This past week was a good one for us. Matthew had his first school Christmas program. He was NOT into singing at all! He just sat down on the rafters and looked at us like it was all craziness. He was really well behaved (besides not singing) I suppose it could have had something to do with the fact that someone bribed him with a soda if he cooperated, surely this was not his mother!:)
Caroline has been up to her usual mischief. The other day Matthew went up to get her from her nap and screamed "Mommy, there is poop all over..Caroline took off her diaper" Indeed this was true and it was all over the bottom half of her body and the carpet..EEEW! She was not pleased with having to be whisked into the bathtub and proceeded to scream and cry and throw toys at me. Nice! Later that day, Matthew found her upstairs in the bathtub, fully dressed and filling up a bucket of water..that little pistol!
Last night I spent the night at our church for an all nighter for the girls at our youth group. It was pretty fun and I even managed some sleep!
Hope your holiday season is going well!

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMBUG!

That about sums it up!

My blog is almost 3!!

I was looking over past entries today and realized that on December 20th my blog will officially be three! I can't believe its been three years already! I am so glad I decided to do this. Its truly been a chronicle of the "Life and times of us". When I began I only had Matthew and now I am the mommy of two. I have been able to look back at entries and remember things I had forgotten took place and also seen where I have grown and (where I need to still do some work)
Because of this blog I have reconnected with past friends and made some new ones. It still amazes me how someone you don't even know except through their words and pictures can become a "Friend". I have learned so much from people like Adrienne, JoEllen, McMama, Shelly and Jody.
I am glad I have stuck with this blogging stuff!

Not me MOnday

So, I have been reading this womens blog for about six months now..she is wonderfully funny and a gifted writer. Her blog is www.mycharmingkids.net..go check her out! Anyways, every MOnday she makes a list of funny things she "DID NOT" wink wink..do
So here are the things I most certainly didn't do...

I didn't let Matthew eat almost have a container of chocolate frosting so I could get the stupid marshmellow turkey's that I thought he would love making (and that he lost interest in about five minutes in)

I didn't let Caroline eat three bananas in a row today for breakfast so I wouldn't have to endure her saying, "NANA...NANA...NANA"

I didn't let them jump on their beds today so I could check my email and Facebook.

Nope..not me!

Festivus has begun

At the Simpson household. Like last year, my niece Jessica and this year we recruited Jeanna,a LCC youth group gal along for the decorating fun. I would highly recommend this strategy to those mommies out there who aren't too anal retentive about decorating and just want to get it up! Matthew helped me decorate the tree today and was SO INTO IT! IT was really sweet. I also bought the kids an advent type calender called, "What God wants for Christmas" which explains the Christmas story and salvation. Its really neat and is made by the same company who developed "Resurrection Eggs".
Thanksgiving was a nice day. We spent a relaxing morning here and then went to Jeff's sister's house. It was a bit crazy with the kids, but that was to be expected. Friday morning, like a crazy person, I got up with Jenny,Jeff's sister and my niece's Jessica and Allison to hit Target at 5:30 am! It was early but really worth it,I got alot of great deals! Of course, Matthew peed out of his diaper at 3:30am so I was up from then! I never ended up naping that day but survived! Friday night we got together with some friends at their annual, "After Turkey Day" party. It was alot of fun. Yesterday Jeff went with his sister's to see "FOUR CHRISTMASES" I went to "TWILIGHT" on Wednesday night. It was really good. A little teenagerish(is that a word) but entertaining none the less.
Not much is going on this week, just the usual SAHM mom stuff! Hope your Holidays are going splendidly so far!

THANKFUL FOR 08

Here are my top TEN:

10. IPOD's
9. My newly established YMCA membership..excercise and childcare for a buck! Such a deal!
8. Losing 150ish pounds
7. Great friends who know me and love me still!
6. A home, filled with lots of toys and cheese it crumbs, which are further evidence of more of my blessings
5. The ablility to walk, run and move all of my body.
4. A wonderful extended family
3. An amazing husband who gets me and helps me out in so many unspeakable ways.
2. Loveable, spirited and healthy children.
1. A God, who loved us so much that he gave us HIS son!

Have a wonderful turkey day! Eat your hearts out!

One of those days

Its one of those days when I want to literally get into my car, wait, first I would pack a bag, get into my car and just drive! The kids are driving me crazy,I feel scattered and as if I can't accomplish anything..yuck!
This weekend has been decent except for today. Friday I went to my friend Carol's lakehouse with some girlfriends for the night..yes, I suppose after having a night away I should be more sane, not the case. I really wish that Jeff and I could get away for the weekend and just be alone together. Even checking into a hotel down the street for two days of just "us" would be perfect for me! I miss him..yes, we see each other nearly everyday but all this "parenting" crap just seems to really take its toll on us! Tommorrow I am going to post my "What am I thankful for 08" list up..I need to kick this pity party! Hope your Sunday is better than this momma's!
S

YMCA

We're members of the Y! My parents decided to do "joint" gifts this year. After much deliberation, Jeff and I decided that we would go for that. So, for the next six months that is where you will find me working out! I am so happy not to have to be out in the cold weather anymore. I am dedicated but man did that start to really stink! Plus, the daycare at the Y is super cheap and Matthew and Caroline really love it. We have gone everyday since we joined. We go in the afternoon during what I like to call "the witching hour" 3-4:30 pm. They play with some friends and I get to listen to my IPOD, watch adult t.v and get stronger and healthier. At this point in my weight loss journey, I really needed something to get me to the next level. Walking wasn't really giving me much of a workout anymore. Plus, I have come to realize while doing the Nautilus machines, that I have definetly loss alot of muscle in my rapid weight loss...I am so weak,its pretty pathetic actually. When I was heavier, I was much stronger. Oh well, I can build those babies back up.
WARNING..the next topic may be TMI for some..I was seriously worried that I was "with child" late this weekend and until today. I guess I am blogging about this b/c I am not sure what we should do about bc. We're like 99.9% sure we want no more children..Jeff would argue he is 110% sure:) But, our ridiculous Catholic insurance wont' cover ANY birth control. Many people I know have the mirena iud and love it. I looked into that and its $800 and a vasectomy is more like $1300..wowza! Maybe my parents could give Jeff that for our anniversary..the gift that keeps on giving:) Just joking! Who knows but this paranoid, taking 5 pregnancy tests in three days has to end. Not sure why I am talking about this..there has to be people in this situation right?
Next week is Thanksgiving..yippee! We're staying home and going to Jeff's sister's. It should be a fun time. We will get to meet our newest cousin..Parker! Then the rest of the weekend will be dedicated to CHRISTMAS DECORATING! Good times!

He's not "that kid"

I helped out in Matthew's class and I am glad to say he is not or at least wasn't "the naughty kid" today! He was so good!! He pretty much did his own thing and sometimes interacted with me and some of the other kids. I was relieved to see that there were alot of other kids who were way more rambunctious than Matty man. I wasn't totally shocked b/c he has been doing so well there. Of course he still has his spazy moments for mommy and daddy..what kid doesn't!? I keep forgetting to post/admit that we have given Matthew back his pacies at night. He is still pacie free all day but he was really struggling at night. Jeff and I likened him to a crack addict in withdrawel..it wasn't pretty. After much discussion with ourselves and his OT we decided we would allow him to have them only at night for awhile longer. He has been great with "giving them up" in the morning. Baby steps I guess. I was totally hiding/lying to my mom about it..I couldn't face her thinking I suck as a mom but I underestimated her..she was totally cool and supportive.
This week we're kind of busy. Tommorrow is Caroline's two year check up and this weekend Jeff is going up north to get away and visit his cousin..yuck! Some friends who moved to Traverse City this fall will be in town for one last visit before they welcome their third child on December 11th so I may meet her for dinner. Jeff argued that everytime he goes out of town, I rack up babysitting charges..true but irrelevant:) I can't believe Thanksgiving is only two weeks away! Unbelievable! Hope your having a wonderful week!
S

Pluggin away

At life that is. I swear since Facebook came into my life I am even more ADD! I can't seem to sit down and write anything. We're pluggin away here at the Simpson house. We had the kitchen painted on Monday and Tuesday! Goodbye awful wallpaper!
I took Caroline back to the allergist because her skin has been awful lately. They didn't really do anything all that helpful. We're trying giving her a daily dose of Zyrtec to see if this helps and keeping her greased up too! She goes to her 2 year check up this week so I am going to ask them about her food and skin issues then. I am thinking about maybe putting her on a gluten free diet but its a real commitment so we will see. If it makes her happier and more comfortable I would do anything! I am now helping out with our youth group at church. Its something I have been feeling called to do for some time and finally decided enough is enough and to JUST DO IT! We have a new youth pastor at our church who has really impressed me so far! I am excited to get to know the kids better. I think I am going to go to a Winter camp they are going to after New Years. I had alot of fun with them in Cedar Point..lets see how I hold up with winter sports!
I am helping out in Matthew's class for the first time on Tuesday! I pray it goes well! He is contiuning to really do awesome in school!
This weekend we're sticking around town. Jeff may take Matthew to the Holiday parade dowtown tommorrow and then tomorrow night Jeff and I are going out to celebrate a friend's birthday! Sunday we have nursery and I am making my famous..ok not so famous chili for small group! The weather is finally turning cold, which I have to admit I don't mind so much, at least thru Christmas! Happy Weekend!

Categorized..

I don't usually mind being categorized..white,female,mom,wife,happy,healthy,easily irritated,sarcastic..you get the point.. But, lately I have really been struggling with a decision I made a few years ago to become a Wesleyan. At the time I felt like it was something Jeff and I should do because we were new to the area and just assumed that we would always and forever be going to the Wesleyan church. While we have no plans on leaving our current church,which is Wesleyan, I feel like I don't necessarily want to be categorized as Wesleyan per se. Why does it matter you may be thinking? Well, to me it matters for several reasons. Several of the views of the Wesleyan church I don't agree with. But,at the end of the day, I like our church and especially the friends we've made there, so does it really matter?..probably not! I just sometimes feel like a "fake" Wesleyan! I think I will always feel denominationless..is that a word? I was raised Episcopalian and still feel very strong ties to that church. But, some of their doctorines I don't agree with it. I guess I would say I am a church goer who prefers not to be categorized..
That being said, I am voting for Obama on Tuesday..so I will probably be kicked out once word gets out amongst the Wesleyans...just kidding:)
S

Who'd a thunk?

That Matthew would give up his pacies in one day!! I shouldn't be surprised! I mean we are talking about the kid who never crawled..just one day up and ran, the kid who was potty trained in two days, moved to a big boy bed with no issue and now, hopefully has given up his beloved pacies! I will fully admit that it was ME who was not ready to get rid of those puppies. When he gets out of control or is really tired, the pacies came in handy! But, it was really starting to be annoying how much he wanted them all the time! Not to mention the pressure from family members:) I mean the kid is so tall he looks like he is pushing five, so having not only one but usually three pacies with him did look pretty ridiculous!
Last night we got home a little late from church and we gave them both a bath and then Jeff and I took turns laying with him. He only asked once if he could have them and we reminded him that he had given them to Grandma Barb.(What he didn't know is that mommy took them back, just in case she couldn't do it:) We also reminded him that if he made it through the night he could get the "Pirates who don't do anything " movie. He said ok and a few moments later..out like a light!
I am sure we may have some more tough moments ahead. But, I made myself promise that if HE made it through one night then I would be fully committed..despite any future protests!
I just realized that the Simpsons now have no cribs, no highchairs and now no pacies...no more babies....YEAH!!
S

No Speech therapy for you!

Caroline did well at her assessment today. She is right on track which kind of surprised me but I guess in a good way! They will continue to montior her for the next year and I plan on taking her to playgroups that they offer as well. I am relieved because we're pretty busy right now and I don't know where we would fit it all in!
Just a quick update! I need to upload photos but I think most of you are my FB friends so you see my pics there..right?!
Sue

Lovely weekend

I had a glorious..mostly kid free weekend. It all started Friday afternoon when I met some girlfriends from Chicago in New Buffalo. We had fun wine tasting and going out to dinner and hanging out with the crazy New Buffalo locals at the town "watering holes". It was very, very fun! Then on Saturday, I headed to my friend Carol's 40th birthday girls day and night away at her new cottage in Scotts. We had fun playing games, drinking wine and hot tubing! It was so nice to get away and relax with two different groups of great friends. I love having different groups of friends to hang out with...always a good time with girlfriends who just get you!
This week is busy for us! Its funny, Matthew must be use to always going some where because almost every night he will ask,"Where are we going tomorrow?" Its too cute! We have a MOPS meeting tommorrow, Caroline's speech assessment on Tuesday, MOPS on Wednesday and Bible study on Friday. I started a new one based on the "Fireproof" book. I am super excited! Have a good week!
S

Kids say the darndest things..

This morning I was showering while Caroline, who is officially two and officially out of her crib into a toddler bed and big brother Matthew were "playing" downstairs. I pretty much have the whole downstairs baracaded to one area since
those little devils will get into everything and anything! So, I am out and buck naked when I hear some commotion. I yell down to Matthew to have him tell me his usual, "She's fine!" but instead he says.."Momma..come see" I go down wrapped in a towel and see Caroline with the entire Sunday paper, ads and all thrown about the kitchen. I say, "Caroline...WHAT are you doing?" to which Matthew,in all seriousness replies, "She's recycling!" Gotta love those GREEN three year olds:)
Happy Monday!

Me..minus 140 lbs

I haven't really mentioned the whole weight loss thing in awhile. Its still going good and is the BEST thing I have ever done for myself! I love buying new clothes and feel great about myself. I love working out and feel addicted to it..a good thing. Here is recent pic of me all dressed up!
S

Like mother , like son...

Ok, so all you fellow bloggers know I can be a bit consumed with death and dying..apparently its genetic. Ever since Matthew saw "Lion King" in July he has been obsessed with the death scene between Scar and Musafa. He will literally play it all day. I ended up "banning" it from our home b/c of it. This has not derailed him very much. I told him when school was starting that I didn't want him playing "Lion King" at school and he looked at me with his big blue eyes and said,"Ok, but I can play Moses or Jonah?" I laughed to myself and thought.."Yes, go biblical..heck its a Christian school..they will love it!" :) So yesterday I wanted to see if he might like Annie, we tried it once at my sister's house and I thought he didn't really like it b/c he didn't seem to pay much attention. After about ten minutes he said " What happened to Annie's parents?" I said, " I am not sure" and then he looked at me very seriously and said,
"Yes you do, remember when we were at Aunt Jenn's and we were watching it with Claire and Patrick and they said it was b/c they died in a fire. Why aren't you telling me that? " I wanted to crack up laughing again but decided I would answer my three year old who was reasoning like a 10 year old with a 10 year old response. I said, " I didn't want to focus on that b/c then you'll obsess over that." He just shrugged and said, " I don't like this movie..can I watch LION KING?" and the battle continues!

Almost two...and acting like it!

Caroline will be two on Saturday. This little girl is a true blessing to everyone who knows her. Her contagious laugh, her adorable dimples and sweet personality make being her mommy mostly a joy. BUT, her very strong will, tendancy to whine(for several hours at a time)can sometimes make parenting her not so joyous. Today she decided to crawl out of her crib and then proceeded to lock herself in her room...thank goodness for wire hangers! I am REALLY not ready to have her out of the crib so I made a point of repeating the phrase "NO GETTING OUT OF YOUR CRIBBY! NO! Naughty!" as I put her to bed tonight. She just looked at me like, "Whatever lady!" Knowing our luck with her she will continue to climb out and break something! Please no!! All I can say is that she is going to make a wonderful teenager:)
More to come and pics too!
Sue

Rejection

So last night I had yet another God moment. First of all I really can't believe the grace he provides us..it really never ceases to amaze me. I have been really struggling lately with some post surgery issues in regards to my past issues with weight related rejection. I am not going to go in to detail but basically when I was heavier I definetly made some decisions that I would never had if I would have felt better about my body. Not to say that I didn't have a good self esteem, I think I always have had a pretty decent self image. However since I feel even better about my self I feel some resentment towards people who treated me less than ideally when I was heavier. I also feel irriated by myself for allowing some of the things that happened to occur and not being stronger.
So anyways, I have really been not at all into my Bible study or my Bible for that matter. I find anything and everything to do besides that. Then for the last two weeks I have had things come up that have kept me from going. This week I planned on going but Jeff ended up having alot to do at work and didn't get home until almost seven so I thought I may not go last night either but I was really feeling like God was saying" GET YOUR BUTT there!" I usually try not to directly argue with the big guy so I went and BOY was I meant to be there. There are many times when I am somewhere and hear a speaker, etc and feel like "This is why its so cool to be a Christian...how could you not believe in a God who so PERSONALLY cares about us." I am sure there were many other women who were there last night who felt the same as I did but what Beth Moore had to say about Rejection and the healing redemption that only Christ can offer was what I desperately needed to hear. I came home and had a heart to heart with Jeff about many of the things we had discussed and what I heard and truly felt a weight lifted off of me. What a great God we have!
S

No title post

I have no creative titles in my mind today! Just some quick updates. I kepp forgetting to blog about my mom's upcoming knee replacement surgery. She had her right knee replaced about five years ago and it went really well. For the past year her left knee has been really bothering her and this summer it down right kept her from doing alot. So, on October 9th she goes in to have the left one sawed off! Sounds harsh but that's basically what they do. Hopefully she recovers as well as she did last time. She was an orthopedic nurse in her "other" life so she is pretty vigilant about doing what needs to be done.
Matthew continues to love and do well at preschool. His teacher said today that she was really impressed with his ability to retain information!:) So smart! We are continuing with OT for him for the time being. I think it does help him alot. Caroline has her speech assessment in Mid October. I am pretty sure she will qualify b/c although she has alot of words, she struggles with annunciation. She also goes back to Grand Rapids to the optometrist this time who is also a patching expert. They will do a 6 month check up on her eyes. I think she may need new frames as she has been taking her glasses off alot lately.
Next weekend we're heading to Chicago to go to my girlfriends party to celebrate her August nuputials in Hawaii. We're also celebrating Caroline's 2nd birthday there since my sister and her kids will also be in town and b/c my mom can't travel obviously here for her birthday.
MOPS starts tommorrow. I am excited to be a group leader this year and have a break from MOPPETS. I think the kids will enjoy it too. Last year I left them home with Grandma Barb b/c it was too overwhelming to have them and be in charge of the childcare.
Jeff has started the Wild at Heart bible study with some guys at church. He seems pretty excited about it. I have to admit I am still struggling with getting into my Bible study. I have missed the last two which isn't good at keeping you on track. Hmm
This weekend Jeff is taking Matthew to the zoo and Matthew is most likely spend one night at Grandma's. He is very excited about that!! Saturday night we have our monthly euchre game.
Life just keeps on keeping on here in Portage!
S

Getting into a routine

We're slowly getting into a fall routine around here. Matthew is doing really well at preschool and seems to already be learning lots! He told me on Tuesday that his name starts with M and sang a song about Noah's ark..pretty impressive! Caroline is loving her Kindermusik class! I am so glad we signed her up..she is adorable in it! I think she really loves having some mommy time with me, she is a totally different child when she is alone. Speaking of Caroline, on Monday she endured yet more physical trauma b/c of me! We were at the mall and as I was loading Matthew in the car as we were leaving Caroline was in the stroller next to the passenger front seat door, I put my purse in the front seat and when I closed the door..she stuck her WHOLE hand in! It was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen..her little, tiny hand stuck in the door. She obviously screamed and her little hand immediately swelled up. I just started driving towards the hospital (Which is also daddy's place of employment)b/c I thought for sure she broke some fingers. But as we drove there she stopped crying and was totally using that hand to eat crackers..go figure that girl will never turn down a cracker:)! When we met Jeff at the ER we decided b/c she would totally let us bend them and touch them and was using them that she didn't need to be seen. I took her home and iced them and gave her Motrin. Today they are back to normal! Very traumatic though!
Jeff is going to Cinncinati this weekend for a "guys" weekend. I had my fun last weekend in Chicago while I was there for a bridal shower for a friend. I am trying not to dread being alone. Actually we have a pretty full weekend with a trip to the zoo and a birthday party to attend and of course church. Plus, thank you to any of you who have been lifting me in prayer in regards to my parenting struggles..lately I have been feeling so much happier and more in control of my emotions and especially my anger. Matthew has been so sweet and well behaved! Yeah!
S

Preschool begins

Matthew had his first day at preschool today. It went good...until the end. They let them go on the playground for all of two minutes which doesn't go well with my " I hate transitions"kid! He proceeded to run to the slide and say,"No! No! I am staying! and then quietly shouted "Stupid"! Nice..nice! I was like hmmm how should I handle this? I could go the calm, rational mommy route or the bribe the hell out him route. I chose the latter! I basically offered the kid everything but a new bike to get him quietly out of there. Bad parenting? Perhaps? But hey when the crap hits the fan this mommy offers gum..it works nearly everytime!
Speaking of bad parenting. I am still on my quest to try and not model it so much. I am taking a boundaries class that is being offered in Sunday school and have just started my new Beth Moore BS about the Fruits of the Spirit. One thing I am ashamed to admit is that I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE! Go figure that I am constantly feeling out of control. This is the story of my spiritual life. When I am good..I am really good. When I am bad........it gets so bad that I have to claw and grab my way back to some type of sanity. You would think after 18 years of being a Christian that I would learn that consistent prayer and BS WORKS! I am so irritated by myself! Oh well..good thing for Grace hey?
S

I will post crazy man preschool pics later...he did look very cute and besides the "playground" incident he was actually very well behaved!

Little Jake

Jaime called and said that Jake died this afternoon. He lived for two hours after his parents took him off the vent. I don't know these people but my heart breaks for their unimaginable loss. I would just ask that you join me in lifting them all in prayer. He was a twin and had a twin sister and his mom is pregnant with a third child. Yuck!
S

Pray for Jake

Please pray for my friend Jaime's friend whose son is in the ICU at Helen DeVos children's hospital in Grand Rapids. Its a strange, freakish turn of events but what began as a normal fever turned into him having a seizure, stopping breathing and he is now on a vent and has brain swelling and damage if he survives. Jaime said the family is making some pretty tough decisions over the next few days. They are Christians but we can all imagine the hell they are going through. Pray for a miracle!

Sue

Crazy Caroline

I forgot in my break to tell you all about some things that have happened with Caroline as of late. First of...hello terrible twos..a month early! She is so full of temper tantrums! My neighbor laughs b/c you can often hear me say "Caroline, if you don't knock it off..I am going to sell you to the lowest bidder!":) She started a kindermusik class today and was a wild maniac! All of the other kids just sat there patiently and quietly on their mother's laps while Caroline ran around screaming and dive bombing me!! She had fun though and really that is all that counts! Also,a week ago Sunday, I accidently pulled her ligament out of place in her elbow! We were walking in a parking lot and I was holding her hand and suddenly she pulled away and to her knees! I felt the POP..eeew! She immediately started crying, but now her normal ear piercing, shrill cry, this was more of a "Ouch mommy,that hurts!" We took her home and I knew something was wrong b/c she wouldn't suck her fingers or drink juice and that girl is a juiceaholic! I called my ped office and luckily they have Sunday hours. They told us to come right over and popped it right back in and she was instantly fine. Poor thing! No more holding her by her wrists!
This week we're just enjoying our last week of summer before Matthew starts preschool next Tuesday. This weekend I have a baby shower for some friends and I think we're hosting a bonfire here on Sat night.
Have a good week!
S

Ok,ok

OK, I think I will continue but I think maybe only on a weekly basis. Partly b/c I don't always have tons to say but also because I am newly addicted to FACEBOOK! Seriously, its consuming and so much fun!
Anyways, we have had some recently busy days around here. Yesterday we had our good pals Rachael and Scott and their two small children who are almost the same ages as Matthew and Caroline,here for the day and night. A good time was had by all! We miss seeing them on a more regular basis. Today after they left Jeff and I crashed on the couch while Caroline napped and Matthew attempted to play quietly with his animals. Matthew ended up in our bed last night at 3am..so mommy and daddy didn't get much sleep after that! :( He was suppose to be sleeping on the floor since his room was given up for the guests but he decided differently. After the snooze, Matthew and I went down to the neighbors to play in their pool. Then we came home and went for slurpees a newly developed and greatly loved tradition that has come about this summer. All four of us love them! Even little Caroline sits like a big girl and slurps away. I justify the sugar intake by thinking of it as "heavy work" for their mouths. This is not a made up term..children with sensory issues have to do heavy work and believe it or not, drinking thicker liquids through a straw counts! Yeah occupational therapy!
Tonight we may enjoy a bonfire with the neighbors or maybe I will just curl up on the couch and watch "The sound of music"! Tommorrow we have several househould chores to do but most likely we will just laze about enjoying the last day of "summer". Matty doesn't start school till next Tuesday but Caroline starts her Kindermusik class on Tuesday. I am really excited that I have her in something. She certainly has gotten the short end of the stick in comparison to big bro who by this point in his life, had taken several classes..ahh the life of the second child.
Last week I had my discussion group leader training with my MOPS group. I am leading a group and really looking forward to it. The theme this year is "Adventures in Mothering" which I really can relate to. I am really hoping to be a great leader who can really make the moms feel welcomed and listened to. I encourage any of you fellow moms out there on blog land who aren't in a MOPS and stay at home or are available on the days yours meets..GO!! You'll love it!
Well its dinner time and I have been down here way too long..happy Labor day!
S

Blogged out?

I am feeling a little blogged out..I think because I don't really have much to say these days. I sometimes sit down to post and then think.."This is stupid" and delete it. Plus blogger has been deleting and doing weird things to my page too. So I may be on hiatus for awhile...
S

pics

Here are some pics.. I can't really remember what they are of. I think they are of the kids, me and Jeff in South Haven and one of me and my friend Liz's kids.I love Jeff's face in the pic of me and him..he looks so thrilled! He really does love us!!:)
This weekend will be busy but fun. We have a bonfire with our young adult group on Saturday and we're meeting up with a friend who is in from Arizona.
S

Great Weekend

I had a great weekend. It started Friday night when we had a neighboorhood bbq to celebrate our neighbor Larry's primary win! The kids had so much fun running around playing with the neighbor kids and roasting marshmellows. Then on Saturday morning I headed to Flushing BY MYSELF to see my friend Liz and her family. I was going to take Matthew but he was driving me crazy..literally! I called Jeff on Friday morning after a horrible walk to Hardings and said ,"Listen if I don't get away tommorrow and have some alone time I may just be checking myself into a mental institution." He must have taken me seriously because he agreed happily to watch both kids.
So, I drove up there and just enjoyed sitting on the deck and enjoyed visting with Liz and her girls. We also went to dinner. Today on my way home I stopped at an outdoor mall in East Lansing and did some shopping for myself and the kids and Jeff too! I am feeling refreshed and ready for the week. Tonight we went over to Wes and Kim's to say goodbye to our niece Jessica who is leaving for Grand Valley on Weds!:(
I will really miss her! Thank goodness for Facebook.
Tommorrow I am watching Avery, our neighbor's little girl and Matthew's buddy. Wednesday Matthew is headed back to OT for therapy, we ended up figuring out the insurance issue thank goodness! We will do two more weeks and then once a month for awhile while we see how he does in school!
S

Dark Humor

You all know I love some good old fashion dark humor..check this out!

1. Do not walk behind me, for I
> may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
> me, for I may not follow. Do not
> walk beside me either. Just pretty
> much leave me alone.
>
> 2. The journey of a thousand miles
> begins with a broken fan belt or a
> leaky tire.
>
> 3. It's always darkest before dawn , so
> if you're going to steal your
> neighbor's newspaper, that's the
> time to do it.
>
> 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't
> be replaced, you can't be promoted.
>
> 5. Always remember that you're
> unique. Just like everyone else.
>
> 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
>
> 7. If you think nobody cares if you 're
> alive, try missing a couple of car
> payments.
>
> 8. Before you criticize someone, you
> should walk a mile in their shoes.
> That way, when you criticize them,
> you're a mile away and you have
> their shoes.
>
> 9. If at first you don't succeed......
> skydiving is not for you.
>
> 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat
> for a day. Teach him how to fish,
> and he will sit in a boat and drink
> beer all day.
>
> 11. If you tell the truth, you don't
> have to remember anything.
>
> 12. Some days you're the bug, some
> days you're the windshield.
>
> 13. Everyone seems normal until you
> get to know them.
>
> ; 14. The quickest way to double your
> money is to fold it in half and put
> it back in your pocket.
>
> 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
> 16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It
> has a light side and a dark side,
> and it holds the universe together.
>
> 17. There are two theories to arguing
> with a woman - Neither one
> works.
>
> 18. Generally speaking, you aren't
> learning much when your lips are
> moving.
>
> 19. Experience is something you don't
> get until just after you need it.
>
> 20. Never, under any circumstances,
> take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time.

Marble jar

I have decided to try and take the "bulls by the horn" so to speak. I went to Michael's yesterday and bought a small glass vase and some marbles. I am rewarding Matthew with good behavior(not talking "ugly talk",going potty,listening,being helpful,not screaming,etc)with marbles. If he does something naughty a marble is removed. When its filled he gets to go to Chuckie Cheese. He is really into it. Although he does keep asking "Can we go now?" after every marble! Since being back in his routine and catching up on his sleep with some extra naps his behavior has improved some.
Caroline's hearing test went great! Yeah! She doesn't have to go back until February. I am defintely not taking the job at the YWCA. In fact I pretty much loathe the women who would have been my boss. Thank you God for giving me such insight before I threw our family into major upheavel.
This weekend Matthew and I are going to see my good friend Liz and her family in Flushing. I haven't seen her in about a year. Caroline and daddy are staying home.
Hope your week is going wonderfully!
S

HOME and we're staying put!

We are home from our vacation! It was nice to get away and the kids had alot of fun. Matthew and Caroline were very taxing at times but some good solid memories were made and isn't that what its all about? I had to try and remember that b/c once again I felt myself being very overwhelmed by the personality of my children. I am really struggling with being constantly frustrated and irritated by them. I hate to admit this but its truly how I feel. When they act the way they did for much of the week I feel very much that I am failing them as a mother.
I thought that maybe I was going to be taking a job as a domestic violence educator part time for the YWCA here in Kalamazoo. But, I am feeling very strongly that isn't where God wants me. I have blogged about this before which is good b/c it just serves as a reminder of that fact. I was telling my friend Jaime last night that I really feel like God is screaming at me to lean on Him and get my encouragment and parenting help from him. And I wonder where my kids get this stubborness from?!:)
I could really use your prayers because I hate feeling so hopeless when it comes to raising these little gifts. I think part of me is still shocked that parenting is so hard..I really thought it would be pretty easy. Probably because when I nannied I got to go home at the end of the day and now sometimes being in it for the long haul just gets..long!
Anyways, we're home and hoping to get back on regular schedules and resume normal activities. Caroline has her hearing test on Thursday and I hope all is well with that. She has been saying more and more words so I am confident that won't be an issue. Matthew may not be continuing OT. Originially we were told that we would only have to pay $25 a week and now it looks like we have to pay $70 which is just too much. We are of course continuing with all they have taught us and are hopefully that he dosen't have too many issues in preschool. Usually he is pretty well behaved for everyone but us, I guess that counts for something, right?!
Tommorrow we have the dreaded nursery duty. We haven't been to church in a long time it seems. I am feeling a little blah about church lately. We're getting a new children's pastor soon and our assistant Pastor up and quit so we will soon get a new Asst as well. Hopefully that will be just what we need to get things going again!
Have a great Sunday!
S

I have no life...apparently

I am in South Haven right now and the funniest thing happened. Since my brother in law has his laptop here, we're able to check email, facebook and of course...BLOGS! My mother in law was watching us and said.." How do people have time for these things..don't they have kids, families,jobs, lives?" No,she doesn't know I have a blog. But, I piped up and said, "Easy now..I have a blog" and I would like to think I have a life too! :) It was pretty funny!
In other news, our vacation is going well. The weather has cooperated for the most part, although I think there is currently a tornado warning. Matthew and Caroline are having a blast playing on the sand, in the lake and with their cousins and aunts and mommy and daddy! Jeff is leaving tommorrow night to go home and vote and then work on Wednesday and Thursday and then he will be back. Pray that I will not lose my cool too much without him around! My niece, Jessica promised she would help me and I am holding her hostage and MAKING her! The girls, Jessica and Allison have been helping me run on beach. Although Jessica ditched me tonight to watch the most annoying awards show ever! The Teen Choice Awards. Absolutely AWFUL!! Big generation gap as I gagged through that! Probably similiar to Barb finding out about BLOGS!
Bye!

To South Haven we go!

We're headed out shortly to our annual summer vacation to South Haven with Jeff's family. Our day has already gotten off to a wonderful walk to Hardings for donuts and coffee for mommy of course. Matthew was so cute on the way home he was holding my hand and said, " I love family walks." Another cute thing he said yesterday while playing outside with Jeff was "Daddy, your my best friend!" Of course when we got home from our idealistic "family" walk he threw a tantrum b/c he had to come inside and proceeded to be taken to his room kicking and screaming "Stupid, stupid daddy, your a butt!" These are his two favorite potty words as of late. It seems that once he realizes he is in trouble he goes all out and figures he might as well be REALLY naughty! AHHHHHHHHHH!
I am praying that the weather is nice and mommy and daddy stay patient and remember that we're blessed to have this opportunity to spend time together with our family and to NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! Oh no...I am sweating already! Is that bad?:))))
Have a good week!
S

Slideshow

Hmmm..

I can't think of a good title to this post so all you get is hmmmmmmmm! I have been thinking alot about blogging lately. Mostly I have been thinking two things..who reads my blog?" and " Remember this is not your diary." I was thinking the first thought because my comment sections have been few and far between and you all know that I treasure the comments! The second thought has been coming to mind because lately I have wanted to write about certain issues and topics but then hesitate because, as I stated before..THIS IS NOT MY DIARY. And, seeing as though I will never truly know who reads this I have to be mindful of that. The thing about this kind of communication is that you may not be able to ever explain yourself. Sometimes it really dosen't matter but sometimes, lets face it..it does!
Lots has been going on here. This past weekend Jeff and I went to Grand Rapids to a party at our friend's house in Ada. It was a lot of fun. We stayed the night and slept in till 9:30...glorious. This week has been busy with several things to do. One of which was Caroline's speech evaluation. I had her tested b/c although she says more words than her brother did, her annunciation stinks. She tested well and most likely won't need any therapy. But, they are concerned that she may have some hearing loss. She has a follow up test at the ENT from her getting her tubes in January in about two weeks so we will see then. Hopefully not! Poor little girl!
We are gettting ready for our annual South Haven trip with Jeff's family. I am excited to go but exhausted at the thought of it. I am determined not to be a crazy, stressed out mess though!
Hope everyone is having a splendid week...

Wisconsin pics

Here are some pics that my sister took with her MUCH BETTER camera in Wisconsin. It should also be said that she is a much better photographer than me too! We're home at last and I couldn't be happier..all by myself in the basement blogging with a box of wine...just kidding about the wine part:)
S

Home, home...where are you?

I just can't stand to be away from blogger for too long, for here I am posting and I am not even home yet. I am back from WI at my parents house. Tommorrow the kiddies and I are visting some families I use to nanny for and then are headed home. Where I plan on dropping them off with their father and climbing into bed for several hours of sleep! A little dramatic..who me??:) Its been a very fun but very exhausting seven days. I had fun at my shower/party for my friend. Matthew and I had a great time swimming at my parents CC pool. Caroline decided to get sick again and got yet another runny nose and spiked a substantal temp as well. Then on Sunday night, Matthew got a high fever. We loaded them up and took them to my sister's house anyways. Thankfully they both recovered rather quickly. Yesterday we just hung out at her house as it was unseasonably cold. Today it was beautiful and sunny so we went to the beach. Caroline stayed back for a nap with Grandma.
I can't imagine how single moms do it. I am tired, I miss Jeff sooooooooooo much! Matthew has been sleeping with me for the last week and for such a little guy..man does he hog the bed!
I have some great pics..I will try and post tommorrow or Friday!
BYE!

Simpsons a go go

The Simpsons..minus Daddy who has to stay back and work are about to hit the road..well on Friday but I am sure I won't have time to post between now and then. First we are going to Chicago so I can drop the kids at the burbs b/c on Saturday I have a shower and bachelorette party for my long time friend Beth who is getting married in Hawaii next month. No, I am not going :( Then on Sunday my mom and I are taking the kids to their country club for swimming and dinner. Matthew is so excited about this. My dad is always there golfing and so I think he might think he is going golfing too. Hopefully he will be ok just swimming. Then on Monday we're headed to Kohler, WI to see my sister and her family. We plan on going to their community pool and the beach. Kohler has some really beautiful beaches! I am excited to get away and see my sister and her kids. Its been since her father in law passed away since I have seen her last. Hopefully the kids will handle the traveling and disruption to their regular routines, especially with the sleeping. Also Caroline can be a holy terror in the car! Pray for me!!:)
Pics and posting in about a week...
S

Amen! ...Paul Harvey

I got this in an email today and thought it follows up my previous post just wonderfully!

Paul Harvey says:

I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his Theory of Evolution.

Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire Book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.

But it's a Christian prayer, some will argue.

Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, C hristian churches outnumber all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect -- somebody chanting?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I woul d expect to hear a Jewish prayer.

If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer.

If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. &n bsp;

And I wouldn't be off ended. It wouldn't bother me one bit.

But what about the atheists? Is another argument.

What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer!

Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. < /B> Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying.

God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It's time we tell that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard that the vast majority doesn't care what they want. It is time that the majority rules! It's time we tell them, You don' t have to pray; you don't have to say the Pledge of Allegiance; you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right; but by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back, and we WILL WIN!

God bless us one and all ... especially those who denounce Him , God bless America, despite all her faults. She is still the greatest nation of all. God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.


Let's make 2008 the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions .. and our military forces come home from all the wars.

Keep looking up.
If you agree with this, please pass it on. If not delete it.
'AND THAT' S THE REST OF THE STORY'

Pics

Here are some pics from the last couple weeks. I especially love the one of Caroline in her sleep sack with her shades on. Also take notice of her favorite toy..tampons! She could literally spend hours taking them out of the box and putting them back in. Its become a favorite morning routine as I get ready! We have had a fun and busy weekend. We were in the Schoolcraft parade and I actually drove one of the trucks..totally nerve racking with kids darting into the street. Afterwards we went to a neighbors for a picnic. Both the kids were really well behaved. Then at night we had a bonfire. Yesterday we went out to a friend's cottage on Gull Lake. I have a post brewing in my head in regards to some of the conversations I had out there. Hopefully I will get to it sometime soon. Today we went to church and listen to some amazing singing(thanks Jason, Holly and Jeannie) and heard a wonderful message. Came home to a relaxing Sunday at home. Trimed some bushes, weeded..etc! Hope your 4th was great!
S
S

Official stats

So yesterday was my 6 month check up. I am doing good, down 110 pounds and I have lost 16.5 inches from my waist and 10 inches from my hips...whoo doggie! They also took an "after" pic. I took a gander at the "before" pic and it wasn't too pretty! I am also down to a size 16 and I was topping the 28's.
I do need to up my protein intake. I have been experiencing pretty extreme dizziness when I stand up quite often. Sometimes to the point that I think I might faint..not good. The PA told me this long, scary story about what happens if you don't eat enough protein and lets just say I would rather not go down that path!
We had a good time with our friends from Chicago. Matthew and Caroline had fun playing with their little nine month old daughter. Its a good thing Caroline won't be a big sister though..that little lady doesn't like to share her mommy! If I tried to do anything for little Katherine she would freak out! It was kinda of cute, I have to admit. We're gearing up for a busy 4th weekend. Hope you enjoy yours!
S