You really only have God

Basic principle but one I suddenly "Got" while reading Kate McRae's caringbridge page last week. For those readers of my blog who don't know about Kate. She is a little girl who is fighting a nasty brain tumor in Arizona along with her mom and dad and big sister and little brother. Her mom, Holly, made a comment about being thankful and how she has, in the past, always been thankful that her children were healthy. Now, in light of her daughter facing a horrid disease, she realized that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, she is thankful for a God to bring her through anything.
I have been reading Crazy Love as part of our small group study and have to say its impacted me more than any other Christian book I have ever read. I realize that I am more often than not a lukewarm Christian. I don't love God wholeheartedly. I tend to wax and wane and sadly waning is more my style. When I look at my journey, walk and faith over the last ten years, I am sad to say I haven't grown nearly as much as I could. I fear having a crazy love for Christ and know this is because I am so half hearted about my relationship with Him.
My FB status for Thanksgiving day was " I am thankful for my family, children and friends but most importantly for my faith in a God that would sustain me if it all went away tomorrow." I do truly believe this but I also believe that my faith is ill equipped to handle a major crisis. I liken it to a toddler who has had six months of swimming lessons being thrown into the deep end without any swimmies...can anyone say...TROUBLE. I don't want a lukewarm, crappy relationship. I want to love Christ with reckless abandon. I want everyone and anyone to know how much HE means to my life. I want to be so CRAZY in love that people actually say.."Whoa..that girl is CRAZY in love with CHRIST!"
With January upon us..I can't think of a better NEW YEAR'S Resolution..can you?!

Sickies

We have had a massive case of the sickies around here lately. It all began last Wednesday when Caroline started complaning about ear pain. She was running a low grade temp so I took her in and found out she had an ear infection. We got home and literally an hour later she spiked a 104 fever and was really sick. This continued for four days. Then on Friday, Matthew started with the temp and complaining of severe stomach pain. This is still going on. On Sunday night, I started feeling achy and yesterday my cough started. Hopefully, sometime soon,we will on be on the mend! I have been following a caringbridge page about a little girl who has a brain tumor. When I read about the daily struggles and serious pain that little girl is enduring it certainly puts our sufferings into perspective. I can't imagine, as awful as it has been to watch Matthew and Caroline these past few days to have that be your day to day reality, with no end it sight!
Work is going ok. Apparently, alot of the new people have already quit b/c of the way the trainers have been treating them. My boss asked me my opinion and I had to be put in a pretty awkward position. I didn't want to rat anyone out but it was pretty horrible. I can't imagine how it would be if you were a teenager and you had to deal with these girls. As a nearly 35 year old, I don't really care if these girls have an attitude. Hopefully, they will continue to get nicer. I worked with some really nice girls on Sunday.
Next week is Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to trying my hand at my first turkey.

Eye drs,u/s's and braces?

Like my creative titles? Yesterday I took Caroline and Ellie to the opthamologist in Grand Rapids for a check up for Caroline and for Ellie to have a consult because..thats right, you guessed it..she is showing signs of s lazy eye! I took her for her two month apt last week and the ped was asking about her tracking and I mentioned that her right away does turn in. She thought with our family history that it wouldn't be a bad idea to have her checked out. The verdict from the dr was that she is moderately far sighted at this point. He puts children on a scale of one to eight and most newborns are a 2. Ellie is currently a 4. But, she could outgrow this by six months. We will just have to wait and see. Caroline's prescription hasn't changed at all and she is doing good. She was pretty good yesterday and they were able to get her to cooperate more than she has in the past. That girl drives me crazy!! Another issue that presented itself at Ellie's apt was that the ped heard her hip clicking on the right side which could indicate hip dysplasia. So, on Thursday she is having a hip U/S and x ray. If these tests show that she indeed does have this she will have to wear a brace. In light of the fact of knowing babies like Sam, this in the grand scheme of things isn't a big deal. But, I have to laugh at the collection of baby medical devices. We have Matthew's helmet, Caroline's glasses and now perhaps hip braces for Ellie. Again, were just thankful these issues aren't really issues at all.
Work is going pretty good. The people who live there are very sweet and gracious. My coworkers are funny, I forgot how petty and sensitive teenagers can be. Oh the drama. I just bus my tables, restock the creamers and keep my nose out of the drama. Been there done that! One of the girls was saying to me how, once I work there for awhile, that I would see how annoying the people are. I can pretty much guarentee that none of those people could even come close to being as annoying as the people I worked with at the State's Atty office in Chicago.
I am working alot in the coming weeks, but I have to say I like the money and paying off the debt!!
Ok..got to go, kids thowing toys at each other..more later

Humble Dave Ramsey Pie

Like the title?:) I will admit I have been thinking about the content of this post since yesterday and have thought of several titles. Some of which included..Damn daycare, damn debt,damn stupid decisions!! But, I thought Humble Dave Ramsey Pie was more creative and less profane:)
I started my job at the retirement home and lets just say I was HORRIBLY mislead as to what I would be doing. I THOUGHT I would be serving meals, chatting with the old folks and ok, yes, I did think I would have to clear dishes. I DID NOT think I would have to mop, sweep, wash dishes, bus, serve..etc I also didn't think I would have to answer to a snotty little 19 year old who chain smokes and swears..but I was wrong. So whats a stay at home mommy who wants to earn some extra cash so her husband dosen't have to work at Jackson Hewitt this tax season but still wants to make money to pay off stupid credit card debt she racked up, along with her husband, when they were young and newly married to do? (By the way,can anyone say run on sentence?) I'll tell you what she is going to do...SUCK IT UP!! Yes, its pretty gross but its only 8-12 hours a week. The hours work so I don't have to put the kids in daycare and it does get me away and lets me have my husband home at nights and on Saturdays. We made stupid financial decisions and so, in a sense, I am reaping what I sowed.
But, the snotty, college educated girl in me is thinking," I am waaayyy too good for this job." The good, rational Christian girl in me says, " No you not...start scrubbing those nasty dishes lady!"
So, I will suck it up and do it..who knows, maybe it will turn out to be the best job ever?! Of course Jeff loves to say to me when I have spent money on something he thinks is frivilous.." That's two hours of dish washing...hope it was worth it!"
Since he is the more financially responsible one of the two of us I just shot him a dirty look!:)
Man...sometimes being a grownup really stinks!!