Don't you love how parenting goes with the good comes the bad. Today very much exemplified this for me and my dear little Matthew. He has been getting speech therapy for the last 18 months. He has excelled in this and pretty much speaks like your average almost three year old now. When I first started thinking about getting him evaluated I got all types of feedback varying from supportive to "your crazy" looks. It was definetly the best decision for him. His therapist, the beloved "Ms. Karla" told us today that she is most likely going to dismiss him in May. This is the first time she has done this in many years she said! Yeah Matty Man!!
So, his speech is well in check. But, his behavior...not so much. As I have eluded to in many a post, he really has been driving me insane. So, after discussing it with some girlfriends I decided to have him evaluated for a sensory disorder. Today we met with an OT and Matthew I proud to say was in rare form..he was terribly behaved! I obviously hate when this happens but it was kind of nice to be like, "This is why we are here!" She asked me what I wanted Matthew and Jeff and I to get out of therapy and I was saddened by my answer. I told her that I am not enjoying being his parent as much as I used to. That its exhausting dealing with his tantrums, crazy behvior and aggression. Case in point, while in Midland we took a walk to my friends parents house. As we were leaving, I was buckling Caroline in her stroller when crazy man took off running. He got about a 45 sec headstart which was enough to have me chasing him almost an entire block! Thank goodness I have lost close to 70 pounds or I think he'd still be running. When I finally caught up to him I was so mad I wanted to strangle him. I kept telling him how he can't run away from mommy and daddy b/c he could get hurt and finally I just blurted out, "A car could hit you and you could die." A little to abrupt maybe but I think he got it b/c now whenever he sees a car and we are outside he will say "Careful mommy, there is a car, I won't run so I won't die" GREAT!:(
Anyways, the OT evaluated him and diagnosed him as a sensory seeker. I am still researching what this means but for now it means he will go to see the OT once a week. I am praying that this helps him better able to control his crazy little body. I just want him to be the best Matthew God created him to be. I just want to be the best mommy God desires me to be. Right now..I think we're sadly 0 for 0!
S
3 comments:
well, I hope you find something to help you guys out!
Sue I can completely understand this whole post!! Before we had recieved a diagnosis with Faith, I felt the way you do many times. I loved her so much my heart hurt but I would get so angry and frustrated!! Matthew running away reminds me of many times Faith just up and ran without any fear or care!! Hang in there it does get better!! Especially once you and Jeff find the answer to this. It'll be a relief! Just keep loving him in even the moments of frustration. I'll keep you in my prayers. If you ever need to vent without someone judging and thinking you're crazy you can call me.
Hope your weekend goes smoothly!
Hang in there Sue! God gave you Matthew to mommy for a reason. You will find a way to parent him effectively, I am sure of it.
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