Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Forsaken

That word has been heavy on my heart the last two days..no, I don't feel forsaken. I pretty much feel the exact opposite of that. But, I keep having interactions with people who are really struggling to find hope and God in the midst of their struggles. One of these people is our good family friend who has been through so much in her lifetime but especially the last two years( four of her family members were killed by another family member, her husband gambled away her life savings, cheated on her and she had to declare bankrupcy and got a divorce) to name a few. Her son died a little over ten years ago from a rare brain disease and she has been through many other awful trials.
The other women is a new member in my Beth Moore Bible study. She is in her late 40's
unemployed and really struggling. The first time she came a few weeks ago she mentioned how she doesn't feel like God cares about her. It was heartbreaking. We have all been praying for her but last night she was perhaps one of the most desperate people I have ever seen. Our leader asked a question of her about the lesson and she just started sobbing,saying how she didn't finish the lesson b/c she is so overwhelmed in her life and wishes she was dead. I use to work as a suicide crisis counselor and that is a huge sign of someone in a desperate state. We prayed for her right then and there. We tried to reassire her that God has not forsaken her, that He so deeply cares. When we broke to go to the main group, I felt such a need to speak to her privately so I pulled her aside and said straight out..."You wouldn't really hurt yourself would you?" She kind of reassured me she would not. But, since I don't know her really I told our group leader who is also a friend that we definetly needed to follow up on her. As we headed to group I added a prayer that Beth Moore's message would speak directly to her. Wow, did God answer and in mighty ways! We are studying the Israrelites and how they acted like fools while Moses was up getting the Ten commandments and how God told Moses he wouldn't be going with him to the Promised Land. Beth spoke so powerfully of Moses and God's interaction and how God did, after some discussion agree to go with Moses and everyone else to the Promised Land but how from then on he would no longer let Moses see his face, that His face would be hidden and God would shield his eyes as He passed by and only then would Moses see his back. She said that sometimes in our darkest moments, God is really just shielding our eyes but He is there in our prescence and how once you've experienced that you wouldn't trade it for anything..(even all the milk and honey and angels to guide you!)
When I came home I just felt so strongly the need to continue to lift these ladies up to God and felt like I was pleading with Him to make himself known to them, that they would feel in His presence.
Why am I writing about all of this? I am not sure, it was on my heart and mind and I guess I want to know what you fellow bloggers feel about feeling forsaken, anyone?
S

2 comments:

Holly said...

there have been lots of times I've felt forsaken! with all the crap that I've gone through over the past year or two, how do you not wonder where God is in all of it? But, when I look back, after time and God have had their way w/things, I see He really was there. He had a plan even if my human eyes couldn't see it, and my human brain couldn't understand it. There are still some things that I'm waiting for clarity on, but I'm trying to trust that in the end, He has what's best for me at the heart of it all.

Janine said...

My eperience with feelings is that they really can stink. Often our human feelings are not reality at all. Your friends feel forsaken, but that couldn't be further from the truth. They may not be able to change their circumstances, but they can change their feelings. By reading the Bible and listening to Christian music they can open their heart to feel the love that God is raining down on them. Some great songs are "You Are My Strong Tower", "Amazing Grace", to just name two. I also had a friend that told me that while she was praying she would visualize her problems on a silver platter and she'd give them to God. I hope that helps a little bit.