Caroline's tubes went in yesterday morning without a hitch. She wasn't very happy in recovery but that was to be expected. That, in addition to the nurse who kept trying to talk to her, which only resulted in her screaming harder. I wanted to say,"Listen lady, I know you mean well but backoff she associates you with feeling crappy." She did calm down much quicker than I thought. They gave her two graham crackers which she held in her little chubby fists and wouldn't let go for anything. Jeff was off the whole day which was nice because she did have quite the whinney afternoon. Today she seems to be happy and hopefully on the road to healthier!
Last night my fellow Steering committee members from MOPS and I went over to a fellow mom's house to make NO HASSLE MEALS. Basically, its like Super Suppers but you do one of the prep jobs at your house and bring it with you and then you all work on different meals. I made five different meals plus five for my girlfriend in Lansing who is on bedrest. Her husband travels here and is picking them up tommorrow. It was alot of fun and now I have homemade meals at the ready!
Prayer request, the murder trial I have referenced is going on right now in Chicago. My mom called yesterday to say that our friend was traveling down to Chicago to support her son who is testifying today and tommorrow. Her son's name is Bob and he really needs our prayers. He has really declined mentally since this all occurred two years ago and really needs to feel the comfort and guidance of Christ. Thanks!
S
“What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” ― Mother Teresa
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Forsaken
That word has been heavy on my heart the last two days..no, I don't feel forsaken. I pretty much feel the exact opposite of that. But, I keep having interactions with people who are really struggling to find hope and God in the midst of their struggles. One of these people is our good family friend who has been through so much in her lifetime but especially the last two years( four of her family members were killed by another family member, her husband gambled away her life savings, cheated on her and she had to declare bankrupcy and got a divorce) to name a few. Her son died a little over ten years ago from a rare brain disease and she has been through many other awful trials.
The other women is a new member in my Beth Moore Bible study. She is in her late 40's
unemployed and really struggling. The first time she came a few weeks ago she mentioned how she doesn't feel like God cares about her. It was heartbreaking. We have all been praying for her but last night she was perhaps one of the most desperate people I have ever seen. Our leader asked a question of her about the lesson and she just started sobbing,saying how she didn't finish the lesson b/c she is so overwhelmed in her life and wishes she was dead. I use to work as a suicide crisis counselor and that is a huge sign of someone in a desperate state. We prayed for her right then and there. We tried to reassire her that God has not forsaken her, that He so deeply cares. When we broke to go to the main group, I felt such a need to speak to her privately so I pulled her aside and said straight out..."You wouldn't really hurt yourself would you?" She kind of reassured me she would not. But, since I don't know her really I told our group leader who is also a friend that we definetly needed to follow up on her. As we headed to group I added a prayer that Beth Moore's message would speak directly to her. Wow, did God answer and in mighty ways! We are studying the Israrelites and how they acted like fools while Moses was up getting the Ten commandments and how God told Moses he wouldn't be going with him to the Promised Land. Beth spoke so powerfully of Moses and God's interaction and how God did, after some discussion agree to go with Moses and everyone else to the Promised Land but how from then on he would no longer let Moses see his face, that His face would be hidden and God would shield his eyes as He passed by and only then would Moses see his back. She said that sometimes in our darkest moments, God is really just shielding our eyes but He is there in our prescence and how once you've experienced that you wouldn't trade it for anything..(even all the milk and honey and angels to guide you!)
When I came home I just felt so strongly the need to continue to lift these ladies up to God and felt like I was pleading with Him to make himself known to them, that they would feel in His presence.
Why am I writing about all of this? I am not sure, it was on my heart and mind and I guess I want to know what you fellow bloggers feel about feeling forsaken, anyone?
S
The other women is a new member in my Beth Moore Bible study. She is in her late 40's
unemployed and really struggling. The first time she came a few weeks ago she mentioned how she doesn't feel like God cares about her. It was heartbreaking. We have all been praying for her but last night she was perhaps one of the most desperate people I have ever seen. Our leader asked a question of her about the lesson and she just started sobbing,saying how she didn't finish the lesson b/c she is so overwhelmed in her life and wishes she was dead. I use to work as a suicide crisis counselor and that is a huge sign of someone in a desperate state. We prayed for her right then and there. We tried to reassire her that God has not forsaken her, that He so deeply cares. When we broke to go to the main group, I felt such a need to speak to her privately so I pulled her aside and said straight out..."You wouldn't really hurt yourself would you?" She kind of reassured me she would not. But, since I don't know her really I told our group leader who is also a friend that we definetly needed to follow up on her. As we headed to group I added a prayer that Beth Moore's message would speak directly to her. Wow, did God answer and in mighty ways! We are studying the Israrelites and how they acted like fools while Moses was up getting the Ten commandments and how God told Moses he wouldn't be going with him to the Promised Land. Beth spoke so powerfully of Moses and God's interaction and how God did, after some discussion agree to go with Moses and everyone else to the Promised Land but how from then on he would no longer let Moses see his face, that His face would be hidden and God would shield his eyes as He passed by and only then would Moses see his back. She said that sometimes in our darkest moments, God is really just shielding our eyes but He is there in our prescence and how once you've experienced that you wouldn't trade it for anything..(even all the milk and honey and angels to guide you!)
When I came home I just felt so strongly the need to continue to lift these ladies up to God and felt like I was pleading with Him to make himself known to them, that they would feel in His presence.
Why am I writing about all of this? I am not sure, it was on my heart and mind and I guess I want to know what you fellow bloggers feel about feeling forsaken, anyone?
S
Monday, January 28, 2008
Pics
Here are some pics from the weekend. I get so frustrated trying to get Caroline's pics. I grabbed and her took the one of her and me myself b/c she wouldn't cooperate for Jeff when he tried. The other one of her is when I found her thumbing through my Bible Study notebook this morning..a future Bible studier!!
S
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Sundays
Well, anohter weekend is coming to an end. I survived yet another Saturday without Jeff around and it went by pretty fast. Jeff and I then went to play our monthly euchre game with the neighbors, it was fun. This morning we went to church and a music ministry from Indiana Wesleyan was there. They were all freshman and sophomores in college and they looked SO young to me! When I mentioned this to Jeff he was quick to remind me that we graduated from college over 10 years ago! Am I really that old? They all gave little intros about themselves and I couldn't help but reevaluate my own college experience. I never even considered a Christian college. Not to say that if you go to a Christian college your free from temptation and poor choice making, but I have to think its much easier to be surrounded with people who believe what you believe and all the ministries available to you to thrive in your relationship with Christ.
We have decided to send Matthew to Kalamazoo Christian preschool next year. I can't believe how much it is for K-12. I wonder how people pay that kind of tuition, its equivilent to what a year at a state college would cost, for one child! But, I know that many people feel that is what God is calling them to do. I think he will love preschool.
Tonight, after the kids wake from their naps, we are taking them to Chuckie Cheese. Matthew was stuck inside all week from his own illness and then Carolines. Speaking of Miss Squeaky, she made it through the whole time in nursery! Yippee. Our good friends were working in there. We tease Mark, the husband that he has a way with the baby girls in our church. Caroline isn't the first little girl he has managed to keep happy and calm in there. It was nice to enjoy an entire service.
This week is busy between doctor appts for myself,ear tubes for Squeak on Weds, speech therapy for Matthew and playgroups we will hopefully have more fun than the last two weeks!
Enjoy your week..
We have decided to send Matthew to Kalamazoo Christian preschool next year. I can't believe how much it is for K-12. I wonder how people pay that kind of tuition, its equivilent to what a year at a state college would cost, for one child! But, I know that many people feel that is what God is calling them to do. I think he will love preschool.
Tonight, after the kids wake from their naps, we are taking them to Chuckie Cheese. Matthew was stuck inside all week from his own illness and then Carolines. Speaking of Miss Squeaky, she made it through the whole time in nursery! Yippee. Our good friends were working in there. We tease Mark, the husband that he has a way with the baby girls in our church. Caroline isn't the first little girl he has managed to keep happy and calm in there. It was nice to enjoy an entire service.
This week is busy between doctor appts for myself,ear tubes for Squeak on Weds, speech therapy for Matthew and playgroups we will hopefully have more fun than the last two weeks!
Enjoy your week..
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Stomach flu and 15 month olds
Yesterday was my MOPS day so Barb was here watching the kids. Since I am in charge of the childcare at my MOPS meetings, its just easier. When I got home I thought she seemed warm. She had a fever that despite motrin continued to climb. I thought or I guess I should say I hoped that it was an ear infection because I so badly didn't want her to be sick with the stomach flu. She didn't sleep all day and she was so listless that I ended up putting her to bed before 5. After I put Matthew down I went in to check on her and she had gotten sick ALL over her cribby and her! It was the saddest thing I have seen! Thank goodness Jeff had gotten home right then and helped me strip her and her bedding. I bathed her and brought her down to lay on me and as it turned out..puke on me 2 more times! Thank goodness for junkie towels!! We put her back down at 11 and he didn't get sick again. But, today she seems to be gripped with the same horrible stomach cramps Matty had earlier in the week. She has spent more than half the morning crying hysterically in alot of pain. Matthew is literally bouncing off the walls since he has been home for almost a week straight!
I called Jeff and pleaded with him to come home early so he can maybe entertain Matthew while I care for my little sicky. Poor litle girly!
S
I called Jeff and pleaded with him to come home early so he can maybe entertain Matthew while I care for my little sicky. Poor litle girly!
S
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Allergies
I am not sure if I posted before about Caroline and her peanut allergy. Last week I gave her a prepackaged peanut butter cracker. Soon after, her lip started to swell and then her left eye. It went away with some Benadryl but we took her in for a allergy test. I just spoke with the nurse at the ped's office and it seems that she is allergic to a number of things including most nuts, eggs,wheat,soy and milk. Some are worse than others. The eggs and nuts were the worst. She was suppose to go to the allergist today but wouldn't you know it she has a fever. Did I mention how sick I am of winter and sickness!!? I rescheduled her for the 18th of February with a doctor who our good friends have taken their son to see. Poor Caroline. Jeff and I often joke that she is pretty needy and high maintance. I can't help but think all these factors, ears being clogged with fluid, can't see, food allergies, etc all maybe influence her moods and make her grouchy. We love her to bits and bits and just want her to feel good and soon! On the plus side, she has slept from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 am straight the last two nights! YIPEE
S
S
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Beth Moore
I have started a new Bible Study by Beth Moore called, "A Women's Heart". Its about the Israelites wandering in the desert and the tabernacle. Its AMAZING!! I love listening to her and really feel like each week she is speaking directly to me. Many women have told me that her Bible studies are intensive and take a lot of time. I was in BSF for three years and that was equal to if not more work so it doesn't really bother me. One of things that she said last night that particuarly struck me was the symbolism of the manna that the Lord provided for the Israelites and the meanings behind it even in today's world. Beth said that the manna was available daily in the early morning and then it would evaporate. So they had to get up, physically go out of their tents and get it. She related that to how we need to be with our Lord, for our portion everyday. We can't think we can go to church on Sunday and store that for the whole week, it won't be enough. Just as the manna that the people took that was more than their portion began to rot, so will our spiritual lives. Another profound point that she made was how some people needed more than others but everyone had what they needed. Beth referenced a time when her good friend lost her year old to cancer and how Beth couldn't understand how she could get through it,how she could handle it with such grace. She said God kept bringing her back to the story about the manna and how He does provide grace based on your need. She was in awe of how her friend go continue to live and go on despite what she had suffered. She emphasized that a strong, daily faith will get you that grace and through those times.
I just want to shout out "AMEN SISTER!" over and over again during her lecture! I am so glad I followed God's prompting and have started attending this! If you have never experienced her I highly recommend her!
What else is new? I have now lost over 40 pounds. I am able to wear clothes that I couldn't wear since before I got married to Jeff..yipee. The eating part is still not the best. I am able to eat lunch meats now, tuna, chicken salad, eggs and crackers. But, I still look at eating like its such a chore! Its like I wake up and think.."Eesh, I have to eat, I am not hungry at all, what high protein food can I manage to choke down?" I have to say that I don't miss the guilt that was a daily part of my life when I ate poorly and then vowed to "be good" the next day. It will get easier over time and since the surgery I don't obsess over food which is glorious and so freeing.
S
I just want to shout out "AMEN SISTER!" over and over again during her lecture! I am so glad I followed God's prompting and have started attending this! If you have never experienced her I highly recommend her!
What else is new? I have now lost over 40 pounds. I am able to wear clothes that I couldn't wear since before I got married to Jeff..yipee. The eating part is still not the best. I am able to eat lunch meats now, tuna, chicken salad, eggs and crackers. But, I still look at eating like its such a chore! Its like I wake up and think.."Eesh, I have to eat, I am not hungry at all, what high protein food can I manage to choke down?" I have to say that I don't miss the guilt that was a daily part of my life when I ate poorly and then vowed to "be good" the next day. It will get easier over time and since the surgery I don't obsess over food which is glorious and so freeing.
S
Monday, January 21, 2008
More sickness
Well my healthy boy seems to have caught some type of the stomach ickies that have been making there way through west Michigan! It all began early Sunday morning when he woke up and said "My tummy hurts mommy, take my tummy out." Too cute by the way! He layed low most of yesterday wanting to snuggle with me or lay on his "couch bed". I had a baby shower to go to last night but Jeff said he had a bit of an appetite and seemed that he may be on the mend. He slept all night but this morning was the punkiest I have ever seen him. Totally lathergic, glassy-eyed and listless. He slept for another hour on the couch and then did perk up a little. He ate some toast and water and his energy is slowly coming back. He hasn't thrown up and I hope it stays that way! I also hope Caroline dosen't get it! That little girl is on my list! We finally put her in "bedtime boot camp" which means she no longer gets a bottle ever, especially in the midst of the night and we don't go to her when she cries in the night anymore. It was just getting ridiculous! She is hanging tough though! She usually wakes up anywhere between 2-4 am and cries off and on for over and hour! Last night she woke up I was a little worried that she may have gotten sick herself so I sent Jeff in(she seems to be less dramatic for him!). She was fine but man was she miffed when he put her back down. Her cries seemed to say "GET BACK IN HERE MR!!!"
Moderately funny for 2 in the morning!
S
Moderately funny for 2 in the morning!
S
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Its a blogging kind of day
That is how I am feeling today. Nothing on t.v right now and I forgot to blog about my answered prayers concerning my church issues. I went to a different church last Sunday and ironically they were just starting a series on "Just walk across the Room" a series Bill Hybels did at Willowcreek while we attended. They had a guest speaker from another church and he was an awesome speaker. It was interesting to see his take on what I remembered Bill having said a couple of years ago. I walked away feeling like I learned something valuable but didn't feel this overwhelming "This is where we should go" feeling. Not that I was expecting that. It surely takes more than one visit! But, all week, it was heavy on my heart, this conundrum! I was prayerful in seeking out what God wanted me to do as a next step. At my new Bible study on Monday, we had an excercise where we had to write down something that was heavy on our hearts down and I wrote "church" down. Then, on Weds morning, our assistant Pastor called to see how I "was". I said,"You mean physically? " Because I assumed he was calling b/c of my surgery. He said yes that and generally. I was literally walking out of my house so I asked if I could call him back. When I did, we had a great conversation where I disclosed alot of my frustrations and for once someone was accountable! I then candidly asked him if someone had told him what I was feeling and he said no that God had just layed it on his heart to call me! So,I took that as a sign to stick it out. I feel and for the record, Jeff also feels good with this decision! I really want to make it work there, it does feel like home in many ways. So we will see !
S
S
Scream, snuggle..repeat..
That is how I feel my life is these days when it comes to dealing with the kids. I start out with the best of intentions and then it all seemingly comes apart. Usually by 8am!! Part of my problem is that Matthew really resists change..what two and half year old does?! But it seems like whenever we are having to leave a fun time like yesterday at church, where we met some friends for a playdate, he completly freaks out. Thank goodness for friends who will hold your one year old while you scoop up your screaming, out of control 2.5 year old to the car! Usually by lunch I have had it and when he does the next irriating thing I lose it! Then,I feel bad for not showing him how to be calm when your feeling frustrated I snuggle him up and apologize for losin g it. But, inevitably, it all happens again. So were on this merry go round of out of control behaviors and parenting. UGGH!
Plus, I am not able to eat much of anything right now. The night before last I was awoken with such a sharp pain in my stomach I contemplated waking Jeff up to go to the ER. It passed but I can't manage to eat much so that isn't good. I guess I will have to call the doctor on Monday.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend...a screaming Caroline calls!
S
Plus, I am not able to eat much of anything right now. The night before last I was awoken with such a sharp pain in my stomach I contemplated waking Jeff up to go to the ER. It passed but I can't manage to eat much so that isn't good. I guess I will have to call the doctor on Monday.
Hope everyone is having a good weekend...a screaming Caroline calls!
S
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Before I was a mom
Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important an d happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important an d happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,
the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
More Squeaky issues
Poor Caroline can't catch a break! Yesterday after her nap I gave her some of those orange peanut butter crackers. She has had peanut butter before without incident. Soon after I saw that her lip was all swollen and then her left eye was all red and swollen. I gave her a dose of Bendryl and called the ped office and spoke with a nurse. It was about four o'clock so we had plenty of time to see if she had any difficulty breathing before bedtime. Thankfully, the Bendryl took effect within a 1/2
hour. Of course I checked on her during the night too to make sure she was ok.
So, this morning the nurse calls back to check on her and to let me know that the ped wants her to have a blood test for allergies and to go to an actual allergist and for us to pick up a script for epipen juniors incase she is ever exposed again b/c apparently with peanut allergies the reaction can just get worse and worse each exposure! That stinks!! I swear that little girl has been to more specialists than most adults.
We had a fun morning. We went to the mall for a haircut for Matthew, lunch and a carousle ride..Matty's favorite! Jeff is working tonight..boo hoo!
S
hour. Of course I checked on her during the night too to make sure she was ok.
So, this morning the nurse calls back to check on her and to let me know that the ped wants her to have a blood test for allergies and to go to an actual allergist and for us to pick up a script for epipen juniors incase she is ever exposed again b/c apparently with peanut allergies the reaction can just get worse and worse each exposure! That stinks!! I swear that little girl has been to more specialists than most adults.
We had a fun morning. We went to the mall for a haircut for Matthew, lunch and a carousle ride..Matty's favorite! Jeff is working tonight..boo hoo!
S
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
More pictures
Caroline and her glasses
Monday, January 14, 2008
NANO NANO
I just have to blog about this...I love, love, love my new NANO Ipod. Its made me such a happy, happy girl. The iTunes store for me is like being a kid in a candy store. Downloading songs from days gone past. I have forgotten about a group that I loved in college called Jackopierce. They have one song in particular that I highly recommend for fellow nanoers called Vineyard. My playlist of downloads is about as random as can be which for those of you who keep up with this blog know is totally me!
I am off to try a new Bible study tonight, its a Beth Moore called "A women's heart". Its much more in depth than what I have been doing but I think I need a little more depth. Speaking of random, tonight one of my favorite shows are on..Jon and Kate plus 8. I love that show! I love Kate and Jon totally reminds me of Jeff.
Finally, Caroline's glasses came in the mail today. She was already in bed for the night but look for pictures tommorrow!
S
I am off to try a new Bible study tonight, its a Beth Moore called "A women's heart". Its much more in depth than what I have been doing but I think I need a little more depth. Speaking of random, tonight one of my favorite shows are on..Jon and Kate plus 8. I love that show! I love Kate and Jon totally reminds me of Jeff.
Finally, Caroline's glasses came in the mail today. She was already in bed for the night but look for pictures tommorrow!
S
Prayer Warriors take note
I know many of you in bloggerland are faithful and devoted prayer warriors. I take so much comfort in that when I need prayer for something specific. My sister in law just emailed this prayer request that she received from another mom in her mom's group. My brother and his family live in Alabama so I assume this little girl does too. Their story touched me deeply. Please pray for them and pass it on...
Thanks.
S
Hi MOMS,
I have a prayer request from Kona Romans. It is for a friend of hers who is going through a terrible time right now. Her 7 month old daughter recently took a nasty fall from a bed and hit her head. During an examination to make sure she was okay, it was discovered that she had a crack in her skull and fluid around her brain. Unfortunately, it was also discovered that she had a tumor in the center of her brain. A shunt was placed in her head to drain the fluid. Here is the latest update from her mom:
So we're home. She woke up the morning after surgery and could hardly breathe because her airways were swollen from the breathing tube she had during surgery. So they put her on steroids and kept us another night just to watch her. We got to talk to the neuro-oncologists and they said that their best educated guess is that this tumor is an Astrocytoma. Basically because it's in the middle of her brain and so deep, it's inoperable. We'll just have to keep doing the MRI's and hope it doesn't change and grow. Otherwise they'll start chemo. But they told us that this is one of those tumors that you can never have a peace about. It's not like if five years passes by and it's remained unchanged that we can start to relax---it can lie dormant for years and suddenly start to grow without warning. And so you go through these emotions....will she live to be 80 years old and never have a complication...or will her sweet little life be cut short by this tumor. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life and I'm not even sure I'm dealing with it anymore at this point...I'm just surviving. I just keep praying that God's will will be done in this situation, but I still beg God everynight---please, just let me keep her. We're just glad that she's happy and acting like a 7 month old should act. We had our first experience cleaning her stitches from the shunt surgery and that was really hard....physically and emotionally. So I'm just spent....just completely exhausted and I have nothing left emotionally. Thanks though for everything.....all of you guys' support means a ton. We'll keep you posted.
Please pray for this family.
Thanks,
Melissa
When contemplating an uncertain future.....Remember what Jesus said:
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's knowledge. Even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Mt 10:29-31).
Thanks.
S
Hi MOMS,
I have a prayer request from Kona Romans. It is for a friend of hers who is going through a terrible time right now. Her 7 month old daughter recently took a nasty fall from a bed and hit her head. During an examination to make sure she was okay, it was discovered that she had a crack in her skull and fluid around her brain. Unfortunately, it was also discovered that she had a tumor in the center of her brain. A shunt was placed in her head to drain the fluid. Here is the latest update from her mom:
So we're home. She woke up the morning after surgery and could hardly breathe because her airways were swollen from the breathing tube she had during surgery. So they put her on steroids and kept us another night just to watch her. We got to talk to the neuro-oncologists and they said that their best educated guess is that this tumor is an Astrocytoma. Basically because it's in the middle of her brain and so deep, it's inoperable. We'll just have to keep doing the MRI's and hope it doesn't change and grow. Otherwise they'll start chemo. But they told us that this is one of those tumors that you can never have a peace about. It's not like if five years passes by and it's remained unchanged that we can start to relax---it can lie dormant for years and suddenly start to grow without warning. And so you go through these emotions....will she live to be 80 years old and never have a complication...or will her sweet little life be cut short by this tumor. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life and I'm not even sure I'm dealing with it anymore at this point...I'm just surviving. I just keep praying that God's will will be done in this situation, but I still beg God everynight---please, just let me keep her. We're just glad that she's happy and acting like a 7 month old should act. We had our first experience cleaning her stitches from the shunt surgery and that was really hard....physically and emotionally. So I'm just spent....just completely exhausted and I have nothing left emotionally. Thanks though for everything.....all of you guys' support means a ton. We'll keep you posted.
Please pray for this family.
Thanks,
Melissa
When contemplating an uncertain future.....Remember what Jesus said:
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's knowledge. Even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows” (Mt 10:29-31).
Friday, January 11, 2008
Ho Hum
Today is rainy and damp and blah! The kids and I got out of the house for the first time in three days so that was good. We ran to the grocery store and to a friends house for a playdate. Matthew was so well behaved which is a nice change! Actually one of the other moms little girls was being a little stinker and I could tell she was really mortified. I tried to convey to her that I COMPLETLEY understand b/c that is me most days, feeling like my child is the worst behaved one of the bunch. But, I have to admit, it was nice to have a break from constant disciplining. Caroline is transitioning to the one nap a day thing which is so hard to get to it seems. She was pretty cranky when we left. Tonight I am going to see,"ATTONEMENT" with some girlfriends. I am excited to see it. Speaking of movies, if you have a chance to see "JUNO" go!! Its so good!! One of the best movies I have seen in a long while. Lots of witty banter! Tommorrow I have to get new tires for the Trailblazer, Jeff is working all day. Sunday, I think he is going to take Matthew to his first real movie, "The Pirates who don't do anything." I hope Matthew is ready, he keeps asking to see it and at home he can make it through a movie, so we will see. Jeff isn't so sure. I am trying to make sure he has concentrated daddy time since Jeff is gone so much during these months,Matthew really starts to act out. This morning he just layed next to Jeff in our bed and snuggled him..too cute. Have a good weekend!
S
S
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Scatter Brain
I was re-reading my last post and realized that I didn't even say that Sarah was having contractions last night that were three minutes apart. Her cevix isn't dialating yet but appparently its funneling, whatever that means? Thanks for the prayers!!
Sue
Sue
Pray for Sarah
Good morning bloggers! I just got a call from a good friend of mine who is 24 weeks pregnant with a little boy. She has 22 month old twins who also tried to come at 24 weeks but made it to 32 weeks. I feel so bad for her because now she has to worry about the girls and the newest family member. Please pray that they would get everything under control, the contractions would stop and she would be able to go home and be able to care for the girls and of course that the baby would remain safe and sound and be born healthy!
Thanks!
S
Thanks!
S
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Flat tires, good samaritans and 30 pounds!
Don't you all just love the title of my blogs?? :) Yesterday was my 2 week post op apt for my surgery. Just as I was about to get off of 131 to 196 my tire blew. At first I was in "flat tire" denial, thinking I had just hit a particularily loud rumble strip. Then, i realized my fate, that I indeed had a flat tire, in the middle of the pouring rain, not sure of whether or not we had road side assistance or not. I decided to get off the highway, and made it to downtown GR, in front of the Gerald Ford building where two friendly landscapers readily came to my assistance. I mean, it wasn't even two minutes that had passed and they came up and said they would help me change it. They then proceeded to get soaking wet laying under my car, etc to change it. I was so thankful!! I called to tell the docs office I would be late b/c of it and they were less than understanding. I got a snippy, "Just get here as soon as you can!" Whatever. The doc apt went well, I am now down 30 pounds! I am not getting enough protein though so I have been concentrating on that because apparently I am burning muscle which I don't want. Next week I can have eggs, fish, turkey and ham! Yippee!
In other news, I think we may be church shopping. I have felt this discontent for sometime now but found distractions in the good friends we have made at our current church. But, when weighing the pros and cons, there are just beginning to be too many things that have us feeling like we aren't and most importantly our children aren't able to grow and learn about God with how things are. I have tried very hard to be as involved as I can by leading small groups, organizing young adult activities, etc but I feel like its all lay people, there is no genuine interest from the people in charge to facilitate relationships. I know that the friends I have made will always be my friends because that is just how I am . Once your my friend, you can't ever get rid of me!:) So, we will see. We are just going to start out by having one of us go and leave the kids out of it until we are sure this is what we are doing. So please pray that God would reveal what He wants us to do in this situation.
S
In other news, I think we may be church shopping. I have felt this discontent for sometime now but found distractions in the good friends we have made at our current church. But, when weighing the pros and cons, there are just beginning to be too many things that have us feeling like we aren't and most importantly our children aren't able to grow and learn about God with how things are. I have tried very hard to be as involved as I can by leading small groups, organizing young adult activities, etc but I feel like its all lay people, there is no genuine interest from the people in charge to facilitate relationships. I know that the friends I have made will always be my friends because that is just how I am . Once your my friend, you can't ever get rid of me!:) So, we will see. We are just going to start out by having one of us go and leave the kids out of it until we are sure this is what we are doing. So please pray that God would reveal what He wants us to do in this situation.
S
Monday, January 07, 2008
Glasses for Squeaky!
Well, after a long three hour apt at the opthomologist in Grand Rapids the verdict is in. Caroline needs to wear glasses. She is extremly farsighted in both eyes and as a result can't see that well. Her left eye is also lazy, which anyone who sees her in person knows all too well. He reassured me again that she doesn't have any tumors, retinoblastoma or otherwise! Yipee! He and his staff were so GREAT! Very prepared for my busy little girl. She had really had it by the time she actually saw the opthomologist but he made sure he got a very good look at her eyes, despite her constant screaming and protests. After waiting three plus months for the apt, I was glad that they were persistant in getting a good look. I picked out a cute pink pair for her. She was fussing when they put them on her but from what I saw they looked cute. I will post a picture when we get them!
S
S
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Clean house
The whirlwind that is my mom was here for two days..Christmas is now a memory. Of course there is still the bare tree that Jeff needs to take down but who knows if he will ever do that...MR.PROCRASTINATOR! He assures me that it will be done tommorrow night. Matthew has been a crazy,wild, naughty boy the last two days. I am sure my mom thinks he is a horrible stinker! He gets so wound up if he can't get outside and run. I am thinking I am going to have to take him up to church at least once a week and let him run around the gym..or we will both go crazy! Thankfully, Jeff took him to his mom's house today for several hours and dinner. Matthew kept crying that he wanted Grandma Barb and we couldn't take it anymore!! She is the best grandma she always loves seeing her little guy! (at least she seems to!) Caroline and I enjoyed some alone time. She is such a little spit fire too! Her long awaited pediatric opthomologist apt is Monday in GR. I am looking forward to hopefully getting some answers from him on what to do about her little eye. My 2 week checkup with the surgeon and nutrionist is on Tuesday in GR too. I am feeling fine pretty much except all joy has been taken out of food. I actually dread it most of the time right now. I know this is short term and soon I will have variety again but right here in this moment with alot of nausea and freaking out that I am going to lose all my hair from lack of protein I am kind of grouchy. Jeff starts working his tax season job this week so he will be gone Tuesday-Saturday for about a month and then he works two week days and Saturdays from Mid-Feb till April. I hate it!! I so depend and cherish his help with the children. That damn Dave Ramsey and his debt reduction plans!:(
S
S
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
TGI08(Thank goodness its 2008)
That is how I am feeling today. After enduring surgery and not being able to eat at just about the worst time of the year to do that, I couldn't be more happy that the holidays are over. I did survive, without too much grumbling. Of course Jeff would probably disagree with this. :) It was much harder at my parents then when I was at home. There was sooo much yummy food around and I found myself definetly feeling sorry for myself. Then I quickly reminded myself that this was my CHOICE and to suck it up! I also commented to everyone how much they eat! I am sure they loved this, but when you stop eating it really hits you how much eating the world does! I jokingly said that I wanted everyone to email me their holiday weight gain.
Happily for the first time in 32 years I am not dreading yet another diet plan. I am on a road to healthier living because I absolutely have to or my stomach will blow out. A little extreme yes, but I have realized over the last month that I consumed so many calories seemingly unaware. I was an unconscious eater for sure. I also feel like I am defintely addicted to the act of eating as this has really made me struggle the last few days. I miss chewing and just eating to my hearts content which usually meant overeating. It will be nice to chew again and feel content sooner and for longer.
Enough about that! The kids are recovering from the Christmas whirlwind. They had so much fun in Chicago. They loved having all their cousins around. Matthew was simply exhausted upon arriving home and fell asleep sitting on the couch. He went to bed at 6:30 and slept till 8! He woke up on New Years with a slight fever and runny nose but seems to be on the mend. Caroline is starting to talk more and more. She says mama, dada, this and that and I swear I heard her say Hi today too. She loves to antagonize her brother but I have to say he is pretty patient with her. They really enjoy playing together lately.
My mom is coming up tommorrow for a couple days so Christmas will soon only be a memory around here. Next week the schedule picks back up and we will be pretty busy again. Jeff also starts working his tax season job...yuck! That means that he will be gone three nights a week plus Saturday! Speaking of my hubby, he got a promotion!! He is now Financial reporting and budgeting manager! This job will give him alot of the experience that will open him up to future job possibilites! He is such a hard worker and deserves the recongnition! The extra cash won't be bad either! :)
S
Happily for the first time in 32 years I am not dreading yet another diet plan. I am on a road to healthier living because I absolutely have to or my stomach will blow out. A little extreme yes, but I have realized over the last month that I consumed so many calories seemingly unaware. I was an unconscious eater for sure. I also feel like I am defintely addicted to the act of eating as this has really made me struggle the last few days. I miss chewing and just eating to my hearts content which usually meant overeating. It will be nice to chew again and feel content sooner and for longer.
Enough about that! The kids are recovering from the Christmas whirlwind. They had so much fun in Chicago. They loved having all their cousins around. Matthew was simply exhausted upon arriving home and fell asleep sitting on the couch. He went to bed at 6:30 and slept till 8! He woke up on New Years with a slight fever and runny nose but seems to be on the mend. Caroline is starting to talk more and more. She says mama, dada, this and that and I swear I heard her say Hi today too. She loves to antagonize her brother but I have to say he is pretty patient with her. They really enjoy playing together lately.
My mom is coming up tommorrow for a couple days so Christmas will soon only be a memory around here. Next week the schedule picks back up and we will be pretty busy again. Jeff also starts working his tax season job...yuck! That means that he will be gone three nights a week plus Saturday! Speaking of my hubby, he got a promotion!! He is now Financial reporting and budgeting manager! This job will give him alot of the experience that will open him up to future job possibilites! He is such a hard worker and deserves the recongnition! The extra cash won't be bad either! :)
S
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