Party Success

Well, we successful surprised mom for her birthday party! It went very smoothly and it was very fun. It was awesome seeing friends and especially family that we never see!! My mom wasn't 100% herself, but I think the party was a much needed distraction from all that has gone on this summer! She had her MRI on Friday and it came back inconclusive so she has to have an U/S tommorrow. If that is inconclusive they will just rescan her in 3 months! Please pray that it is conclusive and that its definetly ruled out as not cancer. She is on a pretty high dose of steroids but hasn't felt any difference yet, however its only been 3 days. I have to say that I just want it to be over or just know if its something bad like cancer. Not knowing is the worst.

My aunt and uncle are staying for a few days with my parents and I think this couldn't have come at a better time. It will serve as more of a distraction and she has no choice in it which at this point is what she needs. She has really been in a serious funk. I had a good chat with my dad about it on Friday and he really helped put me in a better place about it. Its just that I miss my mom...she seems not like herself at all. So, please pray for her health both physically, emotionally and spiritually!

Thanks
S

Mom update 2

Well, my mom had her apt with the rheumatologist today and she thinks my mom does have dermatomyostis. Its a chronic connective tissue disease. She still has to have the MRI on her liver to make sure she only has the hamangeoma but she is pretty sure that is what it is. She will have to be on a relatively high does of steriods for the next month, that will hopefully help with her rash and muscle weakness which is getting bad again. I am in awe really that she is still doing as much as she is with her CPK so high. Some people would have gone into renal failure and she was still walking an hour and a half each day at its peak..she is one tough cookie! Her spirits seemed better today. I asked her if she felt better knowing what she had and she said yes and she just sounded better than she has in a long time. She has seemed really down. But , I think that is because she has been feeling super crappy and weak and hasn't felt like she could admit it!

Obviously we would wish that she wouldn't have anything chronic wrong with her and we don't want her to develop any of the scary things that can occur with dermatomyostis but she is confident in her doctor and of God to see her through it all!
I am more excited now for the party! I think she will be really touched by it! I will update Sunday on how it all went down! Have an amazing weekend!

S

Suddenly blogland is very, very small!

So, I came down this morning with Matthew to play and check my email/blogs and to my surprise I found I had another comment from yesterday's post. But to my shock and horror the comment was from the one, the only....JASON GEHOSKI! Yes, the same Jason Gehoski who I had the crush on, wrote a fake letter about, etc! I was on the phone with someone at the time and I really think I sounded like such an idiot I was in such shock! Its too funny really! He just stumbled across it while looking for something else. I sent him an email apologizing..he claims its not mortifying..I beg to differ:) So, so funny! When I called Jeff and told him he was laughing so hard I thought he might pass out! I also called a couple of my high school friends who were like..."This could only happen to you!"

So, let the lesson be learned...be careful what you write or you could find yourself with a comment from your old crush!!:)

S

My kids in a nut shell

I was seeing on someone else's blog that they had a pic of their kids and a little update. Since I am failing miserably at keeping their scrapbooks or calendars up I think I am going to steal this idea!


Matthew: he is all boy, all movement, all the time!! He has a very curious spirit and loves to explore. He loves his daddy (and mommy) and especially his sister whom he calls "Anna". He loves to kiss her and sometimes he plays a little too rough and tries to sneak attack steam roll her. :( He loves going to church once we are there! When we drive up however he says "No, no!" I think he know mommy and daddy won't be with him! But, he has learn so much about God there and loves to pray. He is always remember Grandma..who he is obsessed with! He has a very special relationship with her!

He remains a great eater! His favorites are Cheese, apple juice, bean burritos, apples and of course chocolate!! This kid is obsessed with chocolate anything ...epecially ice cream!
His speech skills are really flourshing since starting speech therapy last January with his beloved Miss Karla! He loves her so much and is so excited to see her! He loves to say "In there" Me daddy do it, me daddy no bye bye, and pass for pacifier although through his lisp it sounds like he is swearing and we have gotten some looks!! He loves playing with our neighbors little girls, Avery and Makenna whom he calls "Me Guys":) All in all Matthew is a sweet little boy, who loves to read books at night with mommy and snuggle. He is wild and crazy and can really wear us out but we love him all the more!

CAROLINE.

Caroline is nine months old and such a sweetie! Its hard to believe she is the same baby who was so colicky only a few short months ago! She is light years ahead of her brother in the physical development as she was crawling at 7 months and pulling herself up at 8! She doesn't seem all that interested in walking right now! She loves to eat and I think if I let her, she would eat only real food. She loves fruit and veggie puffs! She is content almost always unless she is tired or hungry. She is a decent sleeper..finally sleeping through the night as of last week. She goes down at 6 and sleeps until 6:30 or 7am!! She is in love with her big brother and is very sympathetic to mommy and daddy when they have to deal with his crazy antics! She has been very healthy since her RSV this winter. Only occasional sniffles !She is a precious sweetie!

Pictures will follow...
S

Mom update

Well, the doctor called today with my mom's CT results. Its not horrible but it wasn't the "all checked out perfectly" like we hoped. It turns out that she has some nodules on her lungs, apparently its pretty common and they just recommend her being checked in like 6 months. They also found a spot on her liver, not a mass, but more like a growth. They think its called a hamangeoma sp? which isn't that big of a deal either but her doc wants her to have a MRI to make sure. So, we still don't really know much more. Her rash and muscle weakness are still there too. She goes in on Thursday to talk about treating that. I feel so bad for her b/c I know she isn't letting it all out. She is being a mom and trying to protect us. I have to say I can't stand it. I am afraid. I know God will help me through anything but I don't want him to help me through my mom being sick. I have said it before, I am afraid of having a "story". I feel so much like a just couldn't handle that. Unfortnately, that isn't the way the world or God works...darn!! So, I go between crying and praying to just feeling normal and praying. I am grateful that in relative terms its not bad news. I mean, they could have called and said.."You have stage four liver cancer" They didn't...she really for all intensive purposes will be fine. I want gurantees..I always have..I am living in the wrong world for that..good thing I believe in a God who is does guarentee that no matter what we endure in this one. ..a wonderful eternal life awaits and there are no CT scans or cancer there!!

S

Night away

Jeff and I are back from our day and night away. It was nice, the weather ended up being great even though it rained the whole way up there. It was great to see some friends we haven't seen in awhile either. The hotel we stayed at had the worst beds imaginable but I didn't hear anyone saying "Mama " at 6 am so I will take it!!:)

On our way up we stopped in Midland and I have to say I was a little sad and disappointed. I think I may have been thinking of it a little idylitically. sp? I so enjoyed growing up there, but it doesn't feel or look like home to me anymore like it did for so long. Oh no, maybe I have really grown up?! Sometimes I feel like I am still 15 but yesterday I have to say I very much felt like 32 year old who likes her life!! Maybe I just didn't notice the same things last time I was there? Who knows and really..who cares??

So this week is just getting ready for my mom's party and she finds out the results of her tests. I am praying that it all goes great and she gets some positive answers and then we can have a fantastic celebration next Saturday!

S

Family Camp fun

Just so you all know..yesterday I had an entire blog entry done and accidently deleted it....arrgh! Anyways, yesterday was a wonderful day for us..Matthew, Caroline and I went up to our church's family camp for the day. Kim and Wes are up there and we went swimming and just hung out. Matthew absolutely loved it!! He was very good!! One thing that made a huge difference was a HARNESS! Our friends lent it to us and its a LIFESAVER! If you have an escape artist child I highly reccomend it ! We stayed almost the entire day. Caroline was a little angel and slept in her stroller while Matthew and Kim and I explored camp. Matthew got a treat from the snack shop and we also road around in another friend's golfcart. He fell asleep as soon as he got in the car!

Today we had a playdate with our buddies Lauren and Jonah (and Carrie too!:) The kids had fun playing outside. He just went down for an early nap b/c he is pretty wiped out from yesterday and then he didn't fall asleep until almost 10pm last night. I think it being light out so late makes it difficult for him. I am very much looking forward to this weekend. Tonight I have a baby shower for a friend with a Hawain theme, should be fun! Then tommorrow Jeff and I are going to a wedding for a high school buddy of Jeff's. Many of our friends are also going to it and the best part is we are spending the night..so we get to sleep in!! We are also going to visit my hometown of Midland! I know Jeff is excited for that..not!:)

Still no word on my mom's CT scan...so keep praying!!

S

Caroline got her bangs cut today! Her hair was driving me crazy because her bangs were like 4 inches longer than the rest of her hair! I think it looks really cute and now I don't always have to have a bow in! But, I can still use on which is nice because she looks so cute in them! She looks older with her hair like this!

I have more to post but will have to do it later...dinner time! I think the way I am uploading is not the quickest..I am so bad at this..I need take a class!

S

Why can't I put titles on?? I don't know?! Anyways, here is the link to my friend's dads page...please pray for him he isn't doing well! www.caringbridge.org/visit/andydevries

Thanks!

S

Hmmm...for some reason it won't let me title this..??? Anyways, if it had one it would be "Paniced and Praying" My mom has had a medical crisis of sorts and I am asking for blogger prayers please. It all started about a month ago..she started having muscle fatigue which got progressively worse. Her family doctor kind of dropped the ball so my mom, being a nurse, took herself off her Zocor(a staten prescribed for cholesterol)and then her Dr drew blood and found that her cpk levels(this is a muscle enzyme that is excreted in the blood when muscles are damaged) was astronomically high. She then developed a rash on her face and upper body. She has been to the dermatologist(sp?) and its not a disease called dermomytosis which is an autoimmune disease, in fact her blood work came back as negative for autoimmune antibodies which is a huge praise! Anyways, her cpk levels continues to decrease and her muscle fatigue is almost gone. But, on Thrusday they are having her get a CAT scan to make sure she doesn't have what we all dread..Cancer! I am optomistic that everything will be fine, as her levels are tappering..but it still freaks me out. Plus, I know she is driving herself crazy with worry. She hasn't been herself in weeks and its so hard for everyone. Especially in light of her birthday coming up! I try and remain postive and just keep reminding myself that with God we can handle anything. But, I am all too aware that my faith certainly gets me no free rides, on the contrary if anything. I am just praying for the best and believing it will be at this point!

So, please pray that all scans come out normal and that they can figure out what exactly caused the muscle, cpk, rash stuff and how to make it go away! I am pretty sure noone reads this that knows my mom personally, but if you do...please don't ask my mom about it..she might not want everyone to know..but I defintely want everyone praying...many thanks!

S

Crazy man loose in Hardings!

Ok..Matthew is either going to kill me with his recklessness/insane behavior or drive me to become a heavy drinker by noon! We tried again, to go to the Farmers Market. It was closed..this is the second time this has happened to me. I have no idea why..they are suppose to be open Thur,Fri and Sat! So, then I took him and Caroline to the Hardings by our house to pick up a few things. Now, for the record I will say that I was thinking.."Don't do it. Just take him home and leave him with Jamie", (our neighbor next door who Matthew adores). Well, I didn't listen and went in and in the time it took for me to let go of his little hand to put Caroline in the cart..he sprinted off through the stock room. So I am left saying.."Matthew, Matthew" and not sure what the heck I am to do with Caroline who is sitting calmly in the cart looking at me as if to say.."Again?!" Then of course it took like five people and almost five minutes to find him. I was a little panicky but no massive freak outs like the neighborhood missing Matthew incident. I think as it happens more and more I am becoming desensitized!
Finally, a bagger said,"Miss does your little boy have blond hair and is he wearing a CUBS shirt?"
"Yes" "
"He is the in the produce section."
There he was clear across the store, holding a green pepper as if to say"Look mom, veggies for you."
He then saw my face and was aware he was in trouble and started to cry. It really is a good thing he is so cute!

I should have a caringpage link to my friend Jamie's dad, Andy who I asked for prayer for yesterday. He is doing better but keep those prayers coming! Also, my friend had her baby! Ava Catherine was born on Monday! She does have some pretty signifigant jandice so they are keeping her a little longer but other than that all is well! Thank you God! What a blessing!

I miss comments. I was doing so good for awhile! Where did all the people go?

S

the 4th and more

Happy Belated 4th! The Simpsons had a fine time of Americana fun. We started Tuesday night decorating Matt's wagon for the neighborhood parade. Actually, he watched mommy decorate his wagon! Jeff took him while I stayed back with a sleeping Caroline. It was hysterical watching them come by b/c it was more like a marathon than a parade..when Jeff got home he was drenced in sweat! Then we went to Schoolcraft with Kim,Wes and Allison and our friends the Evans. That parade was a little bit of a snooze but Matthew was pretty good. We went home afterwards where the entire family went down for a nap and then headed to a bbq across the street. Matthew LOVED every minute of it..running around playing with the big kids! He made daddy fish out balls of the neighboors perenial garden and there was a weed in there called "needles" and the title pretty much tells you what coming in contact with it feels like. So, his whole right leg was burning and he had to go home and shower and put some Bendryl on it. Poor baby!:( Finally, Jeff and Matthew topped off the night with fireworks! Jeff said they kind of stunk, but Matthew enjoyed himself! He went to bed at 11:00 which is I think the latest that child has ever seen. He slept in a bit..8am and has been in pretty good spirits so far!

Please keep my friend Jamie's dad in your prayers. His name is Andrew..he had a liver transplant in the fall and had three hernias that where the size of cantalope removed on Monday in Indy. He is doing well, but has a slight fever and isn't able to eat so its slowing down the whole process of recovery and getting him home to GR! Please pray for the families peace and reassurance too!

S

The movie wasn't worth $8!

That is how I feel about EVENING..with Claire Danes, Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, etc. It was definetly what I like to call a "rental". THat is how my mom and I catergorize movies better left to wait and see once they are out at Blockbusters. It was still nice to get out and do something by myself..I love seeing movies by myself.

We had a nice weekend. Friday night I saw the movie, Saturday we cleaned and did some yard work and had some friends over for dinner. I am trying to do that more. I sometimes want to invite everyone over but have decided to have just one couple at a time so we can get to know some of our newer friends better. Plus, then its not so crazy. Today we went to church where I felt so tired! I could barely keep my eyes open! So, while Matt and Caroline were napping, Jeff and I took a snooze on the couch..for like 15 minutes till Caroline woke up! I swear that child has a "my mom is sleeping comfortably..I think I will wake up"radar!:)

Please keep my friend Catherine in your prayers. She is the one who had the still born in March of 06 and she is being induced tommorrow. They are taking the baby, a girl who will be named Ava 3 weeks early because their daughter Avery, died at 38 weeks and they have no idea why. Pray specifically that her lungs would be fully developed and all would go perfectly!

My siblings and I compiled a list of things we learned about my mom for her birthday. We had it framed at Michaels...I thought it was a good list of things for the younger moms out there in blogland to aspire to teach their children. I will feel so blessed if Matt and Caroline feel they have learned these too from me!

No matter how old you are you should ALWAYS listen to the good angel on your shoulder.
Doing the BEST you can is all you can ask for.
Be HUMBLE.
The importance of LISTENING.
Life is an ADVENTURE so enjoy it.
Never lose FAITH in God, your family or most importantly, yourself.
Always be LOYAL to your family.
TRADITION in your family is important. Whether it's a special dish at a holiday meal or a certain song you sing to your children every night before they go to bed, keep tradition alive.
GOOD MANNERS go a long way in life. Comportment is a reflection of the way you were raised.
GIVE FREELY of your time, talent or financial means.

Have a good week! Happy 4th!
S

The worst mom in the world

Ok, I am feeling a little neurotic and a little like a failure. I love my children so much! I am so blessed! But, I will whole heartedly admit that my son can drive me bonkers!! I feel so bad about this but it is true. I have never met anyone who can get under my skin the way he can. Its like he knows exactly what to do to make me insane! I go to bed every morning thinking.." I will be patient, I will play more, I will have the tv on less" and somedays, it happens but on others..none of the above happen. Yesterday was so awesome and then today..yucky! Then I think of others who have lost children or who have sick kids and I feel so horrible like I am taking mine for granted!

A few posts ago I wrote about needing to be in God's word more and I have fully admit here and now to not having done this! So, I am recommitting to this! I am SURE this would alleviate alot of my issues! I am sure if God could read this blog he would say..."Susan, Susan, Susan...will you EVER Learn?"

And I wonder where Matthew gets his stubborn, glutton for punishment personality from?:)

If your reading this and are local friends...please do me a favor and help me stay accountable with this...ask me what I have read in my Bible a week from now. Fellow blog buddies..feel free to hold me accountable via comments!

S

Prayers please.......

I spoke with my mom's friend the other day b/c I needed some pictures of her for my mom's birthday gift. Anyways, this is the friend whose family was murdered and is going through a divorce now b/c of her husband's betrayel. She seemed so down and then I spoke with mom who also spoke with her and she gave me more details of the latest and I just feel so awful for her. While I was talking to her we spoke about my sister selling her house and that I really felt that God was helping my sister learn some lessons through her trial with that whole thing. She then said " I think I am done with God teaching me lessons." I said, " Well, I think your pretty much well versed in all things difficult, now your able to help and teach others." I really didn't know what to say. I know NO ONE who has been through what she has. Sure, others situations are tragic and sad in their unique ways, but no one else has had so many in their life. That night as I prayed for her I just really asked that God would bless her...RIGHT NOW! So, please pray that God would bless Mary..now!

I was blessed today with my children! They were so well behaved at the lake...I couldn't believe it! It reaffirmed to me one of goals as a couple..to have a cottage! Not a lake home, nothing fancy..just a comfy, welcoming place by the water! Matthew absoultely loved it !He was so brave, jumping off the little raft they had tied out in the middle and he went on his second boat ride of his life !I actually let my friend take him while I stayed "on land" with Caroline. I am sure my friend thinks I am a freak b/c I was like"Do not let go of him... I don't care how hard he crys!" Of course he was a perfect gentlemen..didn't even try and move! Caroline loved tooling around in a little raft too! Great day!

P.S.
Does anyone read my blog? I never get comments!

Sue

Cousins

Matthew and Caroline are lucky to have some wonderful cousins in their lives..they are especially lucky to have some local ones! I loved spending time with my cousins growing up but we didn't see them hardly at all! Although Jessica and Allison are older, they are so great with the kids! They are such a help to me and Matthew and Caroline love them dearly! Derek, who is exactly Matthew's age was in town this weekend, Jenny does a great job of bringing him to town alot so we can spend time with him! A funny story about the girls that cracked me up was that I am going to my friends cottage tommorrow and I asked Allison to come help me out. She said sure she would love to but had to be back for "a party!" I said "Oh that is no problem! " and then I went and talked to Kim, who laughed and said.."ITs her birthday party!" Allison and like five of her friends are going camping!! Totally Allison..the most selfless girl in the world! She will do anything for you...even on her birthday party day! We are lucky people to have such great family!
S

Fresh air...

We have a new children's director at church and I am so excited!! She is so on the ball!! There are already so many visible changes in the children's wing! She completly cleaned out the nursery and reorganized it..it looks awesome! Her name is Linda Brown...not she!! I am so excited to see where she will take our children! We have been praying for awhile that God would bring someone awesome and He has!

Caroline had a meltdown today and I had to stay with her in the nursery! She is becoming quite the mommy's girl! We have had quite the busy weekend. Jeff's sister and her little boy Derek, who is the same age as Matthew were in town for the weekend. We went to the park and Cici's pizza Friday and then after daddy came home I went out with some neighborhood girls..very fun! Saturday we had our niece's 13th B day and then Jeff and I went out to play cards with our neighborhood group! Have I made it pretty obviuous we love our neighbors?! We are so blessed! They are great!
Today, after church we went to Jeff's mom's for dinner and now are home!

Have a great week..I will post some cousin "pics" later!

Sue

Eric Hanson

I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this on blogland before..that our family friends were murdered by their son almost 2 years ago. I was forwarded the article below by our friend whose sister in law, brother in law, niece/husband were killed. Please say a prayer for them. The trial should begin sometime in 08 and there is one remaining sister. This family has obviously been torn apart in so many ways.

Its pretty obvious that their son was a sociopath and I am pretty sure he feels no remorse for what he has done. In fact, I think he was still trying to gain access to "hidden" accounts as recently as last fall before a judge put an end to that. I really struggle in praying for him. If truth be told, I want nothing better than for him to spend all of eternity roting in hell for what he did. That is me..real and very transperant. I am just not there. I can't see how what he did is forgivable. I know that isn't what God thinks though..I just can't seem to be able to even pray for him though. So maybe pray that I can...I just felt it needed to be shared!


In the weeks leading up to his four family members’ murders, Eric Hanson’s conflict with them about money spiraled out of control.

The 30-year-old Naperville man was banned from his sister’s home and their mother complained of needing a $100,000 loan to pay back debt she alleged he racked up in his parents’ name.

The allegations of family discord emerged during a Wednesday court hearing in which a judge limited the prosecution’s use of several “hearsay” statements of the slain at trial, which may begin early next year.

Eric Hanson is accused of fatally beating his sister, Kate, and her husband, Jimmy Tsao, in late September 2005 and shooting his parents, Terrance and Mary Hanson, with whom he lived.

The defendant denies involvement in the quadruple homicide, which was discovered that Sept. 29 in the Tsaos’ home in Aurora’s White Eagle neighborhood.

Last month, DuPage Circuit Judge Robert Anderson ruled Hanson’s other sister, Jennifer Williams, may testify that Kate complained Eric threatened to kill her Aug. 13, 2005, if she told their father about the credit card fraud.

At issue Wednesday was whether similar so-called hearsay statements of the slain also are admissible.

Chiu-Ter Tsao told police his brother, Jimmy, loaned Eric Hanson money for about four years and suspected he had stolen several valuables.

In fact, the brother said Jimmy told him everyone in the family, including the defendant’s parents, thought he was stealing money and valuables, later selling them.

Chiu-Ter Tsao said Jimmy finally banned Eric Hanson from the home. Within one month of the murder, Chiu-Ter Tsao said Jimmy accused Hanson of stealing his garage-door opener. Jimmy retrieved it from Hanson’s car, the brother said.

Chiu-Ter Tsao also told police Jimmy complained Eric Hanson’s flagrant spending on electronics and gifts for his girlfriends and constant borrowing caused growing family fights.

The defendant’s cousin, Robert Stutelburg, told police he thought Hanson sounded “fake” and was “playing dumb” when he told him about the murders. Stutelburg said Eric Hanson had been “living large” and bragged about earning $18,000 a month at a mortgage company — which the cousin didn’t believe.

Stutelburg said Hanson had a long disdain for his sister, Kate, and also fought with his parents about money. The cousin said it was a running joke in their family that Hanson had anger-management problems.

Stutelburg characterized Eric Hanson as a habitual liar who lived by the motto deny, deny, deny.

Judge Anderson ruled Wednesday that only those relevant “hearsay” statements in which Chiu-Ter Tsao and Stutelburg have personal knowledge will be allowed at the trial.

For example, Stutelburg may testify about how he thinks Hanson reacted to news of the murders. Chiu-Ter Tsao cannot testify about the alleged theft of the garage-door opener.

Hanson is in court again July 20. He is being held in jail without bond and may face the death penalty if convicted of the murders.




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What if we all met?

So here is my latest thought..what if people who I know through blogland met in person?? Would it be weird? I am talking about people whom you would never know anything about if it weren't for blogger or the internet?? I am thinking that yes, it would carry with it the awkwardness that you find yourself feeling on a first blind date with someone you have had several good phone conversations with. You know, where your feeling like, "He/She is the one for me! I just know this is it!" and then you meet and it all is a little less than it was? Or maybe it would be like finding that perfect person and you would just continue the connectedness and become fast friends in all worlds, not just internet related ones.

I am thinking about this because I find myself thinking and praying and mulling over alot of the words I read out there. One persons blog was accidentely deleted for awhile and I seriously felt sad thinking maybe she isn't blogging anymore. Its funny how your can feel for people you don't "know" but in all honesty, I think my blog readers get a more "real" sense of me than people who I see in the flesh and blood everyday!! Hmm, does this make sense to anyone? I want comments from all you "NON COMMENTING READERS!!

S

Father's Day

Happy Dad's Day! We spent the day with family.We went to church and then had everyone over for lunch/dinner. It was nice! Matthew and Jeff had fun playing outside while Caroline and I stayed in the cooler indoors! The weekend was a scorcher and pretty low key! We went over to a friends last night for dinner who had just moved back to town. Their house is new and in Richland in the middle of the country..very peaceful!

Friday I went out with some girlfriends for dessert at Fieldstone Grill..it was the most disgusting dessert I have ever had!! I couldn't even eat more than a bite..and I will eat about anything that is sweet! But, the company was great! This week is pretty low key. I may have a job interview at Babies R US. I should find out tommorrow..I am just trying to give it to God and let him make the call(not literally of course)..its always worked in the past:)

Here are some pics from today! I think I have this finally figured out!

S