Thankful 2018

Full disclosure..it is almost 10p.m on Thanksgiving night and I JUST REMEMBERED that I hadn't wirtten my list! I have done it every year of this blog..for shame!!!
 I posted this briefly but then made some changes to it and did not publish again. In the weeks since we've have celebrated Thanksgiving, life has reminded me through untimely death that life is fleeting. This always reminds me to take time to tell and show those you care for and love that they are important. Even though I work with grief and the bereaved every day, I am just as guilty as most people to take things for granted, namely my children. I am easy to become annoyed and angered. I can talk the talk about not caring about things like "finding the right house" but in reality I am nearly obsessed with it. As 2018 comes to a close I am so proud of so many of the things I was able to overcome in recent years. I have come so far. But here's the thing, once you get a taste of what it feels like to accomplish a goal or transcend to a better place, you want more areas of your life to always be transformed. I am trying to be thoughtful, and purposeful in regards to what exactly I would like to work on. If I had to pick a "word" right now, for 2019, it would be TRUST. I would love to be able to write a blog post a year from now that says I was able to trust in what God has planned for us. That I prayed for His will to be done, not the desires of my heart. That I was able to discern what exactly His will is and what I am "wanting desperately to be His will." One thing I have learned in my nearly 44 years of living is it is so dang easy to get in your own way!! Trusting God has NEVER lead me astray but still, in the dark hours of the night I send those, "But, but wait, what if's up to him" in what I like to call prayer but really, if I am being honest, it is bargaining. Anyways, here is my Thanksgiving list, and well, I guess MERRY CHRISTMAS too!

Here goes, my top 10 things I am thankful for this year:

10. Moving. Sure it has been hard. There were so many wonderful things about living in Portage for most of our time there. However, we allowed a friendship with toxic individuals to taint our last few years. Now that we're are a few years out from this relationship, and no longer live in the same neighborhood, I feel like I can breathe again. I am working on remembering that 4 years of a crappy friendship does not negate 9 years of wonderful!! However,  it was a very difficult season that challenge us in so many ways. I am thankful to be free!!
9.My job. I am so happy to have a job, and have one that is flexible. While I miss working at Bronson, I don't miss the stress of that job. I have so much flexibility but still I'm able to help others work through their grief.
8. Family.   Even though we live 2.5 hours away Jeff's mom and stepdad  will drop anything to help us out. Case in point, a few weeks ago I didn't realize the kids had a four day weekend. Barb and Bert were able to drop everything and watch the girls for us! My parents are unfailingly generous and kind to all of us. I can't tell you how many times my mom surprises me and the kids with little treats she knows we will appreciate.
7. Rochester. I really do love it here. It has all the benefits of a big city like fabulous shopping but a small town feel.
6. Apartment living. Yes, I have complained. I am a bit over the living in a small space with all 5 of us. But, it is so convenient, and so nice to just call someone when something breaks.
5. The kids, over all are adjusting. I am learning so much about our children's personalities through this move. Caroline, it turns out, can makes friends practically anywhere. Matthew is much like Jeff and isn't as concerned with the number of friends but rather the quality. Ellie thrives in the midst of community and desperately wants to have a neighborhood again.
4. Hockey is close and not as time and money consuming.  Matthew hasn't really found his groove with his new team, but we literally live a minute away from the rink and the travel has been much less. It has been nice.
3. X-box and gaming with your buddies. Yes, you read that right. Matthew is very much a first born in regards to rule following. Therefore he does not play on his X box until his homework is complete. It has been a bit of a struggle for him to meet new friends.  I have loved that when he plays online he can connect with his friends from Portage.
2. Jeff's health. I will never take this for granted and pray he continues to tolerate his blood thinners and have little to no side effects.
1. My faith. This will never change. For it has saved me from the worst version of myself. It has redeemed what I felt was so sinful and ugly, that no one could ever love me, especially God. It is the reassurance of the reminder that the things of this world will pass away. God is so good. ALL the time,God is good. I am not worthy and I am so grateful for the grace and mercy He bestows upon me!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!