If you could talk to one person who is already gone...

Hello

This was the title of Mitch Albom's article in this Sunday's PARADE (the magazine that is shoved in amidst the ads). I immediately got tears in my eyes and a lump in my heart thinking about my Grandma Satterfield who died October 30,1995. I still miss her so much and would love to have one more conversation with her. Although, considering that I was only 20 when she died, I am so blessed to have had wonderful conversations with her about the types of things I would want to ask now. I think though now, in this stage of my life, I would ask her how she perservered with such faith through some extremly tough and tragic situations. My mom's sister died from neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer of the adrenal system,that is extremly painful. Ironically, a good friend of mine had a friend whose daughter died of it at age 3. Because of this world of BLOGGING, I was able to get an insider look at the horror that was. Now, we are talking 1946, before the amazing strides were made in managing pain, chemo, etc. It is an awful beast in 2006, I can't imagine the undescribable heartache at what they went through. I mentioned before that it shattered my grandfather's faith in God. He prayed that GOD would HEAL Leslie and was angry that my Grandma prayed that God's will would be done and that He would give them the faith and courage to make it through. My grandfather couldn't give God that control, he wanted his little girl to be healthy and live. I remember a conversation we had when I was 18, so clearly that I can even remember the weather, what she was wearing, the look in her eyes, as I asked her about what she thought heaven was. She just gave me a soft smile and said, "Well, I like to think that when God calls me home, I will be greeted by my sweet Leslie running to me shouting, "Mommy your home!" I can barely type that, I mean how awesome for her to be able to say that and have such a peace about where her little girl was. She never made it seem like that tragedy ruined the rest of her life, she wasn't overly protective of my mom or her sister or brother, she let them continue to live. Leslie was never forgotten either, she just had such a strong faith that she endured and contiued to live as a testament for Christ. If we sat down to chat today,I would say thank you to her for leaving me such a legacy. For helping to win me over for God, to remember the mother and woman she was despite her hardships. I am so honored to have Caroline's middle name be Carlysle, her maiden name. I wish Caroline could have met her, but in my own heart, I like to think when God decided that Caroline should be ours, Grandma Satterfield got a little glimpse of her "Suzie's" daughter. I have a picture of her on my dresser and everytime Matthew sees it he smiles, plus we always call his blue eyes, which are genetically very unlikely, a gift from Gertrude! So I am convinced she is in such favor with the big guy that he lets her see her great grandchildren, from the best view in the world! If I could talk to one person it definetly would be Grandma Satterfield!
S