Hello
Well, I am officially the ugly pregnant lady! I got a look at myself today in the mirror, oh goodness, not pretty. I have heard that when your pregnant with a girl you tend not to look as good, I concure! Oh well, its worth it for my little bundle of joy! I think its that my skin and hair have been looking quite crappy for the entire pregnancy and my stomach looks like she is sticking her legs straight out! Everyone that sees me is like, "How are you doing" with such pity in their voices, its funny! I have to say, I feel great. I am so thankful for the blessing that this pregnancy has been, the peace I have experienced really taught me so much. I truly haven't had any truly psycho moments. Jeff still reminds me of when I was like 34 weeks with Matthew and he didn't move even though I drank a ton of water and pop and I went crazy. I felt such panic. Can't say I miss that, no fun!
I do think I will really miss being pregnant, I have really enjoyed all the movement. Its so amazing, such a miracle. That seems like such an understatement, that its not a big enough word for all that it entails. I find myself thinking alot about what she will look like, will she have a ton of hair, will it be red like Daddy's was when he was little, will she have big feet like her brother? I can't wait for that first look and the first hold, there is nothing like it in the world and I can see why people have six kids, its addictive!!
As far as being ready, I believe we are, of course my nesting instinct kicked in big time, cleaning bathrooms, washing out the fridge, keeping up on laundry, which in our house means washing it and putting it away within two days, I really HATE laundry! Having the floors vaccummed everyday. As if that will make things less crazy around here, please! Of course Papa Azzaro is coming and his freaky cleanliness will have this house in tip top shape!
I think I have delgated my church duties off on others for October at least. But, I have agreed to host and lead a young married small group and will be helping in the planning for our L3 team, helping out with the daycare at MOPS and I still have BSF so I will still be busy. Mostly, I just have to worry about recovering from the c sec! That is the part that was hard last time, I wanted to do more but couldn't because of that recovery.
Sorry about the ramblings, I will most likely post again, unless Caroline arrives early in which case, it might take me 3 weeks to walk downstairs and post pics!
Wish me luck!:)
S
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
If you could talk to one person who is already gone...
Hello
This was the title of Mitch Albom's article in this Sunday's PARADE (the magazine that is shoved in amidst the ads). I immediately got tears in my eyes and a lump in my heart thinking about my Grandma Satterfield who died October 30,1995. I still miss her so much and would love to have one more conversation with her. Although, considering that I was only 20 when she died, I am so blessed to have had wonderful conversations with her about the types of things I would want to ask now. I think though now, in this stage of my life, I would ask her how she perservered with such faith through some extremly tough and tragic situations. My mom's sister died from neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer of the adrenal system,that is extremly painful. Ironically, a good friend of mine had a friend whose daughter died of it at age 3. Because of this world of BLOGGING, I was able to get an insider look at the horror that was. Now, we are talking 1946, before the amazing strides were made in managing pain, chemo, etc. It is an awful beast in 2006, I can't imagine the undescribable heartache at what they went through. I mentioned before that it shattered my grandfather's faith in God. He prayed that GOD would HEAL Leslie and was angry that my Grandma prayed that God's will would be done and that He would give them the faith and courage to make it through. My grandfather couldn't give God that control, he wanted his little girl to be healthy and live. I remember a conversation we had when I was 18, so clearly that I can even remember the weather, what she was wearing, the look in her eyes, as I asked her about what she thought heaven was. She just gave me a soft smile and said, "Well, I like to think that when God calls me home, I will be greeted by my sweet Leslie running to me shouting, "Mommy your home!" I can barely type that, I mean how awesome for her to be able to say that and have such a peace about where her little girl was. She never made it seem like that tragedy ruined the rest of her life, she wasn't overly protective of my mom or her sister or brother, she let them continue to live. Leslie was never forgotten either, she just had such a strong faith that she endured and contiued to live as a testament for Christ. If we sat down to chat today,I would say thank you to her for leaving me such a legacy. For helping to win me over for God, to remember the mother and woman she was despite her hardships. I am so honored to have Caroline's middle name be Carlysle, her maiden name. I wish Caroline could have met her, but in my own heart, I like to think when God decided that Caroline should be ours, Grandma Satterfield got a little glimpse of her "Suzie's" daughter. I have a picture of her on my dresser and everytime Matthew sees it he smiles, plus we always call his blue eyes, which are genetically very unlikely, a gift from Gertrude! So I am convinced she is in such favor with the big guy that he lets her see her great grandchildren, from the best view in the world! If I could talk to one person it definetly would be Grandma Satterfield!
S
This was the title of Mitch Albom's article in this Sunday's PARADE (the magazine that is shoved in amidst the ads). I immediately got tears in my eyes and a lump in my heart thinking about my Grandma Satterfield who died October 30,1995. I still miss her so much and would love to have one more conversation with her. Although, considering that I was only 20 when she died, I am so blessed to have had wonderful conversations with her about the types of things I would want to ask now. I think though now, in this stage of my life, I would ask her how she perservered with such faith through some extremly tough and tragic situations. My mom's sister died from neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer of the adrenal system,that is extremly painful. Ironically, a good friend of mine had a friend whose daughter died of it at age 3. Because of this world of BLOGGING, I was able to get an insider look at the horror that was. Now, we are talking 1946, before the amazing strides were made in managing pain, chemo, etc. It is an awful beast in 2006, I can't imagine the undescribable heartache at what they went through. I mentioned before that it shattered my grandfather's faith in God. He prayed that GOD would HEAL Leslie and was angry that my Grandma prayed that God's will would be done and that He would give them the faith and courage to make it through. My grandfather couldn't give God that control, he wanted his little girl to be healthy and live. I remember a conversation we had when I was 18, so clearly that I can even remember the weather, what she was wearing, the look in her eyes, as I asked her about what she thought heaven was. She just gave me a soft smile and said, "Well, I like to think that when God calls me home, I will be greeted by my sweet Leslie running to me shouting, "Mommy your home!" I can barely type that, I mean how awesome for her to be able to say that and have such a peace about where her little girl was. She never made it seem like that tragedy ruined the rest of her life, she wasn't overly protective of my mom or her sister or brother, she let them continue to live. Leslie was never forgotten either, she just had such a strong faith that she endured and contiued to live as a testament for Christ. If we sat down to chat today,I would say thank you to her for leaving me such a legacy. For helping to win me over for God, to remember the mother and woman she was despite her hardships. I am so honored to have Caroline's middle name be Carlysle, her maiden name. I wish Caroline could have met her, but in my own heart, I like to think when God decided that Caroline should be ours, Grandma Satterfield got a little glimpse of her "Suzie's" daughter. I have a picture of her on my dresser and everytime Matthew sees it he smiles, plus we always call his blue eyes, which are genetically very unlikely, a gift from Gertrude! So I am convinced she is in such favor with the big guy that he lets her see her great grandchildren, from the best view in the world! If I could talk to one person it definetly would be Grandma Satterfield!
S
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Daddy's away and its no fun to play...with mommy!:(
Hi
Jeff is in Cincinnati this weekend with some friends from college. I miss him soooooo much! Not only his help with little dude, but also his company. Matthew came down with a cold Thursday night, coughing which by the way sent "Mr. Calm" aka Jeff into a tizzy, apparently whooping cough is going around the area and his bosses daughter has it and Jeff was like, "What if he gave it to me and Matthew go it from me?" I just looked at him strangely and said," How about he just has the sniffles and a slight cough?" I loved being the voice of reason! Anyways, he came home for a little bit before he left and Matthew was playing outside with him. When we had to come in he cried forever! He was so sad that his daddy had left! He is becoming a real daddy's boy, which is good I guess since I will be unable to attend to many of his needs my first weeks after Baby Caroline comes! I thought he would snap out of it, but the next hour and a half were hellaious as he just kept crying off and on and going to the gate and singing MORE MORE MORE! FInally after asking, what more? More food, water, bed? He frantically shook his head YES! He wanted to go to bed at 5:45!! I ended up putting him down at 6:20 and he slept till 7:30!! So he must have needed the rest. He just pulled the same thing with nap! Mildly annoying, but sad the see him under the weather!
My friend, Sherry came over and we watched, "Friends with Money" with Jennifer Anniston, ok, defintely a rental! TOnight I am watching the 40 year old virgin which I hear is hillarious! I also have to prepare my part of L3! Tommorrow should go quick with church and sunday school as long as Matty is "nursery safe"!
S
Jeff is in Cincinnati this weekend with some friends from college. I miss him soooooo much! Not only his help with little dude, but also his company. Matthew came down with a cold Thursday night, coughing which by the way sent "Mr. Calm" aka Jeff into a tizzy, apparently whooping cough is going around the area and his bosses daughter has it and Jeff was like, "What if he gave it to me and Matthew go it from me?" I just looked at him strangely and said," How about he just has the sniffles and a slight cough?" I loved being the voice of reason! Anyways, he came home for a little bit before he left and Matthew was playing outside with him. When we had to come in he cried forever! He was so sad that his daddy had left! He is becoming a real daddy's boy, which is good I guess since I will be unable to attend to many of his needs my first weeks after Baby Caroline comes! I thought he would snap out of it, but the next hour and a half were hellaious as he just kept crying off and on and going to the gate and singing MORE MORE MORE! FInally after asking, what more? More food, water, bed? He frantically shook his head YES! He wanted to go to bed at 5:45!! I ended up putting him down at 6:20 and he slept till 7:30!! So he must have needed the rest. He just pulled the same thing with nap! Mildly annoying, but sad the see him under the weather!
My friend, Sherry came over and we watched, "Friends with Money" with Jennifer Anniston, ok, defintely a rental! TOnight I am watching the 40 year old virgin which I hear is hillarious! I also have to prepare my part of L3! Tommorrow should go quick with church and sunday school as long as Matty is "nursery safe"!
S
Sunday, September 10, 2006
We're Ready!?
Hello
Well, my mom just pulled out of the driveway after being here since Thursday so you know what that means, MANY THINGS WERE ACCOMPLISHED OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS! I have to say I love it when my mom comes, she is so organized and I get sooooo much done plus she makes it fun and ok, yes I will admit, buys the things we can't afford or Jeff says no too:)! We painted Caroline's room pink, its defintely pink and I am still adjusting to it, the bedding and curtains look very cute and we're going to have the teen that babysits Matthew quite often paint starfish around the room and put up letters spelling out her name. ( I am still waiting till after she arrives to make sure its defintely still Caroline:) We kept the queen size bed in there b/c my parents will be sleeping in there when they come up. In Matthew's room we hung curtains and its so cute. He has really claimed it these last few days and loves playing in there. I childproofed it more so we can play in there, his other room wasn't really set up for that. I still can't leave him in there, he is just too into things and too little for that but he likes having more freedom to explore his books and toys. We went through all the baby clothes and got rid of alot to Goodwill and kept the good stuff for some lucky person who has a boy next, I am not kidding there has to be five big shoppping bags full of the cutest clothes. I did manage to keep a few things that I wanted as rememberance of his baby days. We washed all her clothes and got everything set up so all I have to do is incorporate my shower gifts! I love weekends like this! I feel so happy when things are organized and clean. Am I a freak?, please if you think I am you should meet my dad!!:) All we need now is a baby! Oh and as a sidenote, today we awoke to much cooler temps and I had to squeeze myself into jeans...OY' VEY! I felt like I was going to burst. I might be the only person still in capris come October. I can't find plus size maternity pants to save my life. I have always bought larger regular sizes, but I am carrying her lower so its just yucky! Oh well only 4 weeks!
S
Well, my mom just pulled out of the driveway after being here since Thursday so you know what that means, MANY THINGS WERE ACCOMPLISHED OVER THE LAST FEW DAYS! I have to say I love it when my mom comes, she is so organized and I get sooooo much done plus she makes it fun and ok, yes I will admit, buys the things we can't afford or Jeff says no too:)! We painted Caroline's room pink, its defintely pink and I am still adjusting to it, the bedding and curtains look very cute and we're going to have the teen that babysits Matthew quite often paint starfish around the room and put up letters spelling out her name. ( I am still waiting till after she arrives to make sure its defintely still Caroline:) We kept the queen size bed in there b/c my parents will be sleeping in there when they come up. In Matthew's room we hung curtains and its so cute. He has really claimed it these last few days and loves playing in there. I childproofed it more so we can play in there, his other room wasn't really set up for that. I still can't leave him in there, he is just too into things and too little for that but he likes having more freedom to explore his books and toys. We went through all the baby clothes and got rid of alot to Goodwill and kept the good stuff for some lucky person who has a boy next, I am not kidding there has to be five big shoppping bags full of the cutest clothes. I did manage to keep a few things that I wanted as rememberance of his baby days. We washed all her clothes and got everything set up so all I have to do is incorporate my shower gifts! I love weekends like this! I feel so happy when things are organized and clean. Am I a freak?, please if you think I am you should meet my dad!!:) All we need now is a baby! Oh and as a sidenote, today we awoke to much cooler temps and I had to squeeze myself into jeans...OY' VEY! I felt like I was going to burst. I might be the only person still in capris come October. I can't find plus size maternity pants to save my life. I have always bought larger regular sizes, but I am carrying her lower so its just yucky! Oh well only 4 weeks!
S
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
New Room Blues
Hi
Well, I am offically going crazy with this end of pregnancy stuff! I have felt a desperate need to "get things done" the past couple of weeks, nothing can be too organized or clean. So, when we began the process of painting both rooms this weekend, it was no surprise that I would end up in tears. First the painting process was in Jeff's hands entirely, something I am NOT comfortable giving him control over. There are times when his laid back attitude are such a blessing to me, then there are times when your trying to get stuff done and you catch your husband, who is suppose to painting, on the couch watching college football...uggh! :( It did get painted and looks very nice. We put up the hand me down crib that we so generously received from a guy that Jeff works with, for free! But, as Jeff was putting it together, I felt sad for Matthew. That he was having to leave his old room, leave his rocker behind that I have spent countless hours rocking, nursing, reading and singing to him in and go to the "new room" where he is in a lesser quality crib and its smaller. Don't get me wrong, its a very nice room, I know he is only 16.5 months old, but I feel sad that soon I will have a new baby and that Matthew will be my big boy. So silly, I am sure to those of you who have more than one child! Tonight was his first time in the room and he had trouble settling down, he cried pathetically for thirty minutes and then I was in tears and went up and rocked him to sleep. He awoke when I laid him down and looked at me like," I am in here again!" but rolled over and hugged "monkey" his little sleep mate!
I am feeling better now that he is asleep and know that he will be ok, that we will all surive this transition, its just the unknown that is scary. At least when your about to have your first, you really are ignnorant to what is about to happen to you. Know matter how much nannying I did, nothing really prepared me to be Matthew's mommy and nothing can really prepare me to be Matthew and Caroline's mommy! But, I know it will bring me so much joy and I can't wait...even when I am crazy, crying and thinking..."How do people have three or more kids?"
S
Well, I am offically going crazy with this end of pregnancy stuff! I have felt a desperate need to "get things done" the past couple of weeks, nothing can be too organized or clean. So, when we began the process of painting both rooms this weekend, it was no surprise that I would end up in tears. First the painting process was in Jeff's hands entirely, something I am NOT comfortable giving him control over. There are times when his laid back attitude are such a blessing to me, then there are times when your trying to get stuff done and you catch your husband, who is suppose to painting, on the couch watching college football...uggh! :( It did get painted and looks very nice. We put up the hand me down crib that we so generously received from a guy that Jeff works with, for free! But, as Jeff was putting it together, I felt sad for Matthew. That he was having to leave his old room, leave his rocker behind that I have spent countless hours rocking, nursing, reading and singing to him in and go to the "new room" where he is in a lesser quality crib and its smaller. Don't get me wrong, its a very nice room, I know he is only 16.5 months old, but I feel sad that soon I will have a new baby and that Matthew will be my big boy. So silly, I am sure to those of you who have more than one child! Tonight was his first time in the room and he had trouble settling down, he cried pathetically for thirty minutes and then I was in tears and went up and rocked him to sleep. He awoke when I laid him down and looked at me like," I am in here again!" but rolled over and hugged "monkey" his little sleep mate!
I am feeling better now that he is asleep and know that he will be ok, that we will all surive this transition, its just the unknown that is scary. At least when your about to have your first, you really are ignnorant to what is about to happen to you. Know matter how much nannying I did, nothing really prepared me to be Matthew's mommy and nothing can really prepare me to be Matthew and Caroline's mommy! But, I know it will bring me so much joy and I can't wait...even when I am crazy, crying and thinking..."How do people have three or more kids?"
S
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