Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Life right now

Life right now is pretty darn sweet. I feel such contentment with how things are going with work and life and love. I am LOVING working days. It has only been three weeks but I can already feel the difference with how much being fully rested has helped me cope with the moments when, lets just say I am not feeling content:) We are settling into our new routines and so far, I think we are all happier with our new normal! Time to read, to work on homework, time to be up without passing out on the couch on my nights off!
I have just begun to orient with my team and my new position but so far I like it. Palliative care allows for thoughtful conversations to take place. It is very different from the ER in many ways but it is good. I was worried how I would feel about being in the hospital during the day after two years of the night shift but its been a nice change. It's nice to have other social workers around to talk to about certain patients or situations that are difficult. I am not naive to think that there will be no bumps in my road. I know I will make mistakes, and I am ready to learn, everyday , ways in which I can be the best palliative care social worker I can be.
The kids are focused on one thing right now...FLORIDA! We leave in 29 days (whose counting?) to go to Naples, Florida to spend a week at my parent's condo! We have many fun things planned including a dolphin tour, a major league baseball team training camp game, beach and pool trips. The kids can not wait to fly on a plane! I am excited to escape this winter hell and feel the warmth of the sun and be with my family.
My 40th birthday is 28 days away! 40! I am not afraid of 40! I feel for the first time in a long time, that I am finally getting my shit together. Like I said earlier, I am content. I love my husband, I feel so lucky to be married to a man who know everything about me, including some pretty ugly truths and mistakes, and  yet he loves me still. Being able to share my fears, my mistakes, my struggles with someone who gets it and gets me is something I certainly have taken for granted over the past few years. Jeff and I have had an opportunity through a series of situations to realize that at the end of the day, we get each other and we love each other. I have seen my quiet and reserved guy express his gratitude, love and support of me in some surprising ways over the last year.
Life can be hard at nearly 40. Life is usually about my kids, my patients, my husband. But, I have realized there are so many blessings in having people who depend and love you. There is such comfort in being married to a man whose known me for 20 years.  There is such hope in his continued faithfulness  and grace he has extended to me and our marriage. There is joy in being able to provide comfort for patients and their families in their darkest hours. I am blessed beyond measure.
Who knew that a fully rested Susan Simpson would be a happy and grateful girl?!

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