Caroline's eyes are fine!! Amen!! Amen! AMEN! Poor little baby had to have her eyes dialated and I totally had to pin her little arms and head down and he did have to do some searching but all looks fine ! I of course had several questions and he was pretty blatant and said" I am checking her retinas for retinablastoma" to which I said" I know, I googled it" He was very interested in what I found on the internet about it because he said alot of parents don't know about it and they really should be aware of the warning signs. The biggest one being, a white reflection in their eyes instead of red eye! So, you know I will be loving my red eye pics of my little girl!
This weekend while I pondered what I would do if it indeed was something serious. I felt like I was thinking alot about how I feel about God right now, in these moments of our lives. I completely believe and love Him but and I know this will sound bad, I don't trust Him. Now this isn't to say I don't trust His plan is best..it is, but I don't think it ever makes sense. It seems like you have to wait on Him and his timing is too much to take sometimes. I want him to Fix things always. I always want people to be able to write ALL IS WELL. I want people to pray for things to happen and they magically become God's will. I want him to put a invisible barrier around those people whom I know have suffered enough and be guarenteed that no harm will come to them anymore. Its like lately I am thinking, "Come on God...enough already!!" then I feel really bad because the people who could be saying these things don't. They remain steadfast in their trust and praise of the Lord. I think if God was reading my blog he would read that last sentence and say only one word.."Exactly!"
I am so grateful that my sweet little girl's eyes are gine. I am so happy to have a little boy who is so full of energy but still can know mommy is getting mad and lay down and take a nap in his big boy bed! And, because of these things I can give back, do more, devote more time to Bible reading, praying and spreading the Word to those who don't know Him and the peace, that I felt even when I was doubting this weekend that only comes through those who know Him.
Please continue to pray for my mom, her muscles are still really bad, she is having a muscle biopsy this week and may have to go into the hospital for more vigorous treatments!