Hi
Well, I am offically going crazy with this end of pregnancy stuff! I have felt a desperate need to "get things done" the past couple of weeks, nothing can be too organized or clean. So, when we began the process of painting both rooms this weekend, it was no surprise that I would end up in tears. First the painting process was in Jeff's hands entirely, something I am NOT comfortable giving him control over. There are times when his laid back attitude are such a blessing to me, then there are times when your trying to get stuff done and you catch your husband, who is suppose to painting, on the couch watching college football...uggh! :( It did get painted and looks very nice. We put up the hand me down crib that we so generously received from a guy that Jeff works with, for free! But, as Jeff was putting it together, I felt sad for Matthew. That he was having to leave his old room, leave his rocker behind that I have spent countless hours rocking, nursing, reading and singing to him in and go to the "new room" where he is in a lesser quality crib and its smaller. Don't get me wrong, its a very nice room, I know he is only 16.5 months old, but I feel sad that soon I will have a new baby and that Matthew will be my big boy. So silly, I am sure to those of you who have more than one child! Tonight was his first time in the room and he had trouble settling down, he cried pathetically for thirty minutes and then I was in tears and went up and rocked him to sleep. He awoke when I laid him down and looked at me like," I am in here again!" but rolled over and hugged "monkey" his little sleep mate!
I am feeling better now that he is asleep and know that he will be ok, that we will all surive this transition, its just the unknown that is scary. At least when your about to have your first, you really are ignnorant to what is about to happen to you. Know matter how much nannying I did, nothing really prepared me to be Matthew's mommy and nothing can really prepare me to be Matthew and Caroline's mommy! But, I know it will bring me so much joy and I can't wait...even when I am crazy, crying and thinking..."How do people have three or more kids?"
S
3 comments:
I love your honesty. It makes me look at my own life with an openness and an honest outlook that I sometimes need to be reminded of. Thank you.
Do I always seem to comment right after my sister? Things always seem so crazy right before a new baby (oh..and right after!). You'll do great and we'll pray for a safe arrival for little Caroline!
I had a lot of moments when I felt like I was jipping Jaden out of something by having Asher so soon, but Jaden LOVES his little brother. I don't think he feels jipped at all. He doesn't like the fact that baby brother is starting to play with HIS toys, but he needs to learn to share..LOL. You'll make it, I know you will!!
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