The best thing in life....

Matthew and Caroline....

Remember when you were little and you had to write your name and then choose an adjective that corresponded with the letters...maybe just I did this?

MATTHEW

Mischevious

Animated

Too cute

Tempting little cheekies that mommy loves to kiss

Humorous

Energetic

Whole heartedly loves life!!

CAROLINE

Cute

Aware

Rolie Polie Olie

Oh So Sweet!

Laughing all the time

Interested in what her big brother is up to all the time!

Not a great sleeper:)

Entertaining, watching her facial expressions can keep me entertained for hours!

When life gets me down all I need do is look at their sweet faces, preferably asleep in their respective cribs and all is well with my world!

I picked some "oldies but goodies" for pics! Check out Caroline's "peace" sign!! Totally random!

S

Prayer...Works?!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello
I have been reallythinking hard on this past Sunday's L3 service. It showed this video from this horrible website that is www.whygoddoesn'thealamputees.com , at least I think that is the website. Regardless, its an antheist forum for why Christanity is false and how basically praying on a horseshoe results in as much as praying to God. While watching the clip on Sunday, I found myself irrationally angry. You know that feeling when someone attacks you or your spouse or children and your just want to pummel that person? That is how I felt. I wanted to scream out..."NO! NO! NO! That isn't true!" I also felt that way when I went to the website last night and read more of their lies.

I have disclosed how in the past year, I have really felt my prayer life strengthened. I have taken so much solace in this and really love spending time with God in this way. Something that Bruce, a fellow church goer, who organized Sunday's message said really struck me, he said that if what we pray for is God's plan, then it WILL BE DONE. Not if, not maybe, IT WILL BE DONE! I think where we struggle is when we think we HAVE God's plan. We think, well God would defintely want to do this or that..or God should do this or that. But, the reality is we can't even begin to fathom Him, He is too mighty, to awesome..to RIGHT..His plan always is THE PLAN. Something also we learned todayat LAMBS, (my mom's bible study) is that God wants to Glorify Himself. So those two things put together can really shake things up for non believers. So, what can we do about it? I think for myself, I need to be in the Bible , in God' s word more. My prayer life is there. But, my time with God in that way...very much lacking. That way, when God or I am attacked for believing in God, I am armed with His word.

I know prayer works... I have seen it in my own life and those lives of people I have uttered them for..I know God works for the good of all who believe in Him...I just want to reach those who don't!

S

Happy Birthday to me!

Today I am offically 32..well not really until 11:11 pm... We have had a nice day, Jeff took the 5 am feeding and Caroline and Matthew both slept till 8:15. We went to church and then to Jeff's mom's for dinner and cake!! Jeff's mom got me a lovely pair of pearl errarings and some body lotion and money to buy myself something! Its great weather, mid 70's. I came down in the basement to cool down, it was so hot running around doing things around the house.

I was thinking today that this is the first bday in 2 years that I haven't been pregnant, that is nice! I was also thinking how very blessed my life has been with the arrivals of Matthew Jeffrey and Caroline Carlysle. I am a lucky, lucky, blessed birthday girl!

S

Blogger confusion

Hi
Does anyone know how to add your own blog link to your profile? I noticed mine dosen't show up on other people's comments and I wonder why not?? ALso, yesterday it said that a comment had been deleted? I didn't delete it?? How did that happen? I am so computer illeterate!

S

CURVES

Hello
Are you looking at the title and thinking..."What?" I joined, Curves tonight and am optimistic that it will be a good thing for me. I am optimistic for the following reasons...

1. After reading about what Josh Buck is going through to do even the simple things we take for granted I have begun to really look inward at how much I take my body for granted and abuse it. There is no guarentee that tommorrow I wouldn't have an accident and not be able to do these things!!

2. I have two small children who are incredibly active and although I don't feel out of breathe or unable to play with them now.. more energy for them would be great. Not to mention being a good role model on healthy living.

3. I feel like a big , squishy, had two c sections in less than two years, yuck about myself.

4. My body aches while sleeping and I know its from the extra lbs !
5. I don't have any current health issues but know eventually I will and that would really stink b/c I can do something about it now!

6. I want to conquer this sin once and for all in a healthy, God helping me out kind of way!!

I would kindly ask for the passing prayer that I would stick with and see results so there will be less curves to me!!:)

SUE

BBQ fires,stuck bubs and more...

You may be looking at the title of this post and think..."What?" Well, then you will see the pictures and it all becomes a little more clear! Let me preface the pictures by saying that Jeff is the biggest procrastinator you will ever meet! It can defintely be a source of contention in our marriage. I want something done and it seems unless I endlessly nag or as he would call me,"Stick in the eye!" it doesn't get done! An example of this is our grill. Last fall, great with child, I asked him to please clean it b/c it had accumulated alot of grease, etc during the summer months. Well, it didn't get done, so last Tuesday when we had the awesome 70 degree weather we grilled burgers. He lit the grill, put them on and when he went back, a real live fire had broken out! It was somewhat humorous! Now for some kudos for Jeff. Next weekend is my birthday but we have plans to play cards with the neighbors so he surprised me by having his mom and Bert come over to watch the kids and then we went to dinner at a newer resturant and over to some friends to watch the debactle that was the MSU basketball tourney game. It was a nice evening and then today I went to church by myself and just enjoyed the service and went to lunch and a movie with Jessica and Kim. We saw Bridge to Terabithia(sp?),good movie but so sad! I am so fortunate to have such a great inlaw family...I love hanging out with the girls! It was just a nice day and a good break from my "mommy" life. Speaking of, tonight after Jeff got Matty ready for bed he was screaming in his bed and wouldn't calm down which isn't normal for him, usually you just put him down and he goes to bed. So, we both went upstairs a few times and then I decided to take him into our room and snuggle, he was so sweet just staring at me with his soulful baby blues and finally after about 15 minutes I asked him if he was ready to go into his crib and he nodded yes and went without incident. Those are the times I cherish with my little man, when we break the bedtime rules and just snuggle..

The one picture is of him stuck in Caroline's bumbo seat! He can't get out without help! Because its made for a 5month old! He can kind of say her name now, it sounds like "liney"..cute ! The last pic is one of Caroline's first professional pics...I am sure a more competent computer person could scan them, that person is not me! It a close up of her cute little face!

Later

S

Blogs are funny little things

I was just randomly going through blogland just now and reading ones I have never gone to before...seriously entertaining and once again...inspiring. Here are some blog related ?'s if you have the time please sign in and answer..I would love to get an idea of who stops by my neck of the blog woods..

What did we do before Blogs?
Why do none bloggers think blogs are annoying?
Do you comment on people's blogs you don't know?
Have you ever been offended by something you've read on a blog?
What's your favorite blog?

I will get the ball rolling here are my answers..

1. Before blogs and blog stalking/commenting , I surely wasted alot of time on the MTV show "My super sweet 16" and " The Hills" websites.. I know pathetic! I have to say, since blogging my spiritual life and especially my prayer life has been greatly improved.

2. Not sure, I think they think bloggers are self important people with too much time on their hands, although alot of my friends aren't Christians and it seems to be more popular with the "believe in Jesus " folks!

3. All the time...only to encourage or let them know I am praying for them.

4. No, except this one person once wrote that she thought random people shouldn't comment on people's blogs they don't know...I am sure glad that philosophy hasn't stopped any comments on Josh Buck's blog...I am sure they are lifted up daily by those comments!

5. I love the Hummels blog, about family who has 4 kids, a daughter and triplets, one who passed away at birth sadly...she is so inspirational and Greenhouse Ministries, because the Buck's are just amazing people, Noah Steven's blog, a link I foung through the Hummels of a little boy who spent several months in the hospital battling a mystery aliment who died in January..his mother is also very influential spiritually and is a very gifted writer!

Comments people...comments! please:)

S

Better together!

"Better Together"
There's no combination of words I could put on the back of a postcard No song that I could sing But I can try for your heart Our dreams, and they are made out of real things Like a, shoebox of photographs With sepiatone loving Love is the answer, At least for most of the questions in my heart Like why are we here? And where do we go?And how come it's so hard?It's not always easy and Sometimes life can be deceiving I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together[Chorus:]MMM it's always better when we're togetherYeah, we'll look at the stars when we're togetherWell, it's always better when we're together Yeah, it's always better when we're together And all of these moments Just might find their way into my dreams tonight But I know that they'll be goneWhen the morning light sings And brings new things For tomorrow night you see That they'll be gone too Too many things I have to do But if all of these dreams might find their way Into my day to day scene I'd be under the impression I was somewhere in betweenWith only two Just me and you Not so many things we got to door places we got to be We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now It's always better when we're togetherMmmm, we're somewhere in between together Well, it's always better when we're togetherYeah, it's always better when we're togetherMMmmmm MMMmmmm Mmmmmm I believe in memories They look so, so pretty when I sleep Hey now, and when I wake up, You look so pretty sleeping next to me But there is not enough time, And there is no, no song I could sing And there is no, combination of words I could say But I will still tell you one thingWe're better together!

I love that song Better together by Jack Johnson! Since Matthew is obsessed with Curious George it now reminds me of my little sweeties. Life is defintely better when I all together with my precious babies and Jeff too!

I have taken some new pictures of the kiddos.. I can't believe Caroline is going to be 5 months on Monday! Time really does fly! She is offically a baby now..not an infant anymore. She is so sweet now, its amazing to think that all she did was cry for three months. We have been spending alot of quality mom/daughter time in the afternoons lately. She isn't much for long naps and so Matty goes down at 1 and sleeps until 3ish and she goes down at 12:30 and wakes up at 1:30 and we just play or lounge on the couch snuggling. Speaking of which today Matthew had a very bad morning with the speech therapist. He had to go to time out 2 times and was generally naughty. The speech therapist thought maybe he was feeling like Caroline was stealing me from him..yah no doubt! I told her all the things I try to do to keep him feeling like he is still our little guy! She reassured me that it would get better...everyone says that! But, I know one day it will! Anyways, he woke up early from his nap so I took him to my room and we laid in our bed and he fell asleep next to me ! So sweet..I just spent time praying for him, for me, for the various needs of those around us . It was really nice!





Here are the pics..one of them is of Caroline's room with her cute letters, if you look closely you will see little Missy there in her cribby,one is of her favorite soother...fingers! Matthew in the bathtub and "Squeak" our nickname for her and daddy chilling on the couch!

Hmmm. Brothers, uggh part deux!

Ok, I emailed my brother, in hopes of being the mature, older sister...last Monday and that little bugger still hasn't emailed me back. I have to say I am feeling very ambivalent about him more and more. My mom and I were talking today and she was telling me a story about his in laws not treating him very nicely. I couldn't divulge to my mom why I am mad or even that I was mad at my brother, who is named Michael by the way because it would ruin her surprise that were are planning. I did say.."Well, Michael can be very difficult, maybe his inlaws are just over trying with him" That is how I feel...done with trying. When I look at others around me and there relationships with their siblings, I am envious of that. I have a close relationship with my sister but I really feel like my brother and I have no relationship at all. I am sure the thing that is bothering me most is that I have no control over how he is acting. I want him to email me and say.."Yes, I was wrong. I am sorry" You know where will freeze over before I ever hear those words from him. I guess I want to know how he could be so self centered and arrogant and mean spirited, we were raised better than that. My mom wants us so badly to all be close and really doesn't allow herself to think about us not being like that. But that is how it is.. my sister and I talk everyday, I hadn't talked to my brother since Christmas! I hope that Jeff and I enstill in Matthew and Caroline to respect and love family above everyone else.

Jeff and I went to Willow Creek in Barrington, Ill when we lived in Rolling Meadows, actually my parents could walk there from their house, anyways, one of the pastors did a talk about raising kids and he talked about when his kids would fight, he would say.."Look out there, outside of this house people are going to treat you badly, hurt you, beat you down with harse words and unfair circumstances. But in here, in our house, we treat each other with love and respect and care about each others well being." He then went on to say that the younger brother looked at his sister and said"Come on, lets go fight outside!" I love that and have already begun a 2 year old version with Matthew. When he is rough with Caroline, I will say, "No,no you need to protect Caroline, look how much she loves you." and its true, that little girl lights up, stops crying, when he is near her. She inately loves him..its how she was born to love her brother. So my question is How does that change? When do you go from being a little blob who loves another blob for no good reason( I mean the kid is constantly throwing pacies at her, shoving cereal down her throat and a finger in her nose!:) to no talking for months at a time for really no apparent reason! Boo hoo!

S

Priceless

Matthew's Wrap Sheet 2/28/07

1. Climbed on kitchen table..tried to jump off...10 times
2. Sat in "naughty spot" between the hours of 3-6pm...8times
3.Tried to hit Caroline in the head, tummy, foot ...12 times
4.Cried in his crib, while shaking it refusing to take a nap, so mommy had to go upstairs and threaten"You need to take a nap!" 5 times
5. Climbed in Caroline's exersaucer, got stuck, mom had to put a screaming baby down to rescue 4 times
6.Number of times"Stop it Matthew" came from my mouth...too many to count

Watching Matthew play in the snow..toddling around...seemingly erasing all of the naughty"terrible twos" from my mind....PRICELESS!

Long, frustrating day...but still blessed none the less!

S

Brothers...uggh

I am really sad right now. Without going into too much detail or on an angry rant...my brother is really angering me! I had to talk to him about something we are trying to do for my mom and he just blew it off. The thing is that I know if he isn't a part of this..she will be really hurt. I basically hung up on him. I really wanted to scream..." You are such a selfish brat!" But, I settled for idiot...I know real Christian of me!

Now that I have my own kids, I really can't believe how different they can be. But, my brother and I...I am talking polar opposites! I am so perplexed on how me and my sister can be overly emotional and such pleasers when he could really give a damn...how does that happen. Maybe its birth order. I am the middle and pretty much fit that to a tee. My sister is the oldest and I think she fits that too. My brother...baby...brat! Ok. Enough! But what do you fellow bloggers do when people in your lives really let you down? People you have to have in your life??

S

Caroline Stats

Oh those poor second children! I always let everyone know everything after Matthew's checkups...Caroline, not so much! Poor little girl! She went last Tuesday for her 4 month checkup,

She weighs 17pounds and is 25 inches long, which place the little oinky in the 95% for weight and 80% for height. She looks like she is 6 months instead of 4. She is almost rolling over and as of late is on A SCHEDULE! Yippee! She goes to bed at 6:30 ish everynight, sleeps till 3ish, eats and goes immediately back to bed till 7ish! She is taking two naps too! Also and a big praise for this ...HER COLIC HAS SUBSIDED! She is such a happy baby now! A real joy! She loves watching her big brother play and also loves the exersaucer!

Thats about it! Here are two pics, the one is when we had a babysitter and she was pretty fussy and finally the babysitter laid her on her tummy and she was OUT! It was hillarious to see! The other one is in her carseat..where she is spending less and less time as she gets bigger and less likely to sustain serious injuries from big bro!

S

My funny little Valentines!

Hello

Yesterday was the big V Day! The kids and I had our typical Wednesday. Speech therapy in the am and then just hanging out. Jeff and I went over to our friends for a small group Valentines Day get together. It was a lot of fun. We laughed alot and had way too much yummy food! Here are several pics of the kids...enjoy the ones of Matthew ,who snuck into the dryer while I was unloading the washer! For those of you who know me to be a paranoid freak you may be saying to yourselves..."Oh, I guess she is a freak for a reason...." That kid seriously looks for ways to injure himself! The other day I ran a test to see if I could "trust" him to play in his relatively childproof room...nope after one minute alone he was going right for his lamp! Good thing he is so darn cute! Caroline is sick of all this snow and cold and is dawning her Cubbies sleeper and hat in the one pic in celebration of catchers and pitchers reporting....daddy told her this! :)

S

Hear My Soul

That is the name of the cd that Josh Buck and some musicians from our church made as a fundraiser for our L3 service. I really love that song, I mean I listen to it at least 25 times a day and often rewind a certain part in the song where Josh is playing the guitar so intriqutely and beautifully that its truly worshipful to me. ME, the person who truth be told, really struggles with singing at church and other places too. I just have trouble getting into it and I often find myself being so critical of the musicians. But, and I am not just saying this, when Josh led music at LCC, I would get so excited to see him. Even Jeff, whose adversion is worse than mine sometimes, would state gleefully..."Oh, good its Josh" when he saw him.

Anyways, as Shelly has of late asked for specific prayers for his fingers, I think of that particularly when I hear his fingers magestically play that song and to hear his words

Hear my soul Lord
Sing to You
Words of praises to worship you
I pour out my heart Lord and sing to You
Fill it up Lord with more of You
Holy Lord, I worship You
Holy Lord, I praise You

This is just parts of the song, and I might not have it all right, but the point is to me that one of the many lessons Josh and Shelly are teaching me through their perserverance is that Josh continues to pour his heart out and fill it up with Christ, even in his darkest hours...even though he can't play the guitar and has no guarentee that he ever will again...

I continue to pray that God will restore those fingers, those hands, all parts of Josh Buck to glorify him in that way again..but also know that if not, he will anyways in a new way. Please pray for them!

S

Stuff

Hi
I am in my basement right now, where the computer is and I have come to the realization that we , ok mostly, me...I have too much stuff! We're going to transform our basement, which currently serves as a "holding station" for so many things that we don't know where to put, but hopefully this late spring it will be a playroom/computer room/reading nook/scrapbooking center! That is a lot of titles for a relatively small space!:) So, my friend Nicole who has an organizing business on the side is coming over on Sunday to help me figure out how to set everything up, so I came down tonight to go through many items.

Jeff is notorious for not throwing anything away..his whole family is like this..sorry Kim if your reading this post, no offense:) Its just hard to keep things organized with a person like that. So, instead of getting in arguments about clutter in the kitchen, when I get sick of the pile up, I simply put the offending items in a Meijer bag and transfer them to the basement. So far the system has worked ok, although when I hear Jeff ruffling through old bags I get a twinge of annoyance. But, when the basement is a playspace, we can't do that because we will only have a small designated "office space"! I can imagine it now coming down to find Matthew and Caroline playing with old paycheck stubs and Sports Illustrateds!

Ok, my point, we need to get rid of ALOT! We have so many books that I am sure we will never read again, we have alot of pictures that most likely never will hang anywhere in our house ! I usually am good at getting rid of stuff but feel like I might want it later, I guess. What do you people out there in blogger land do with your basement stuff?

S

The Sweetest Things

Hello

Well, we're doing ok over here! Caroline is still one sick little girl, but I gotta tell you, for being so congested and having such a horrible cough she is in the best spirits! She has had the best tempermant since becoming sick...weird!! Matthew is still coughing a ton and if he doesn't clear up by Fri I am taking him back in! I hate taking him in uneccesarily though b/c that place is just crawling with germs and he could come back with something worse!!:)

Caroline was doing great big belly laughs tonight as I was holding and playing with her. So sweet and really does make all the frustrating times just melt away! Matthew had speech therapy today and you could tell he wasn't 100% because he kept coming up to me and laying his head in my lap! Again, I found myself grateful for the little, sweet things in my life...we never know what tommorrow holds so enjoy it while you can!

S

RSV

Hello
Well, last week Matthew was very sick with a horrible cold, runny nose, horrid cough, fever, whiny....and on Friday night it hit Caroline, only it turned into RSV for her! Poor thing! I went to Chicago for my girls night. I debated not going but she really only had a slight cough Sat am and I really needed to get out. But, when I got home on Sunday afternoon she was just waking up from a nap in her carseat when all of sudden she had this really weird look on her face, started gasping for air and then coughed so hard that she puked up phlemgm all over my friend, Sarah who had driven with me and came in for a potty break! Poor Sarah! It freaked me out and so I just took her into the ER. They really made me mad because they didn't do anything, they just checked her lungs by listening to her breathing.

Then this am, her cough was worse and the amount of wet diapers decreased signifigantly so I called and they wondered why the ER didn't do a RSV test or chest x ray. So, I had to load up Matthew and Caroline, drop Matty off at Grandma Barb's. By the way, thank GOD for her! She saves me !! There was about 50 million kids there! The doctor we saw was pretty sure that she had RSV, they did the nose swab test and we found out this afternoon. The doctor warned that we are at the beginning of this so it could get worse and she may end up on breathing treatments, and maybe the hospital but I am hoping not. Matthew had it when he was 6 months an it cleared on its own, but her cough is pretty nasty!

On a side note, there was a lady in the doctor's office with four foster kids and when I was leaving, she was loading them up and I overheard her saying to one of the kids, who had to be around 4 or 5, "Get in the car, get your coat on...that is it...your not living with me anymore!" Can you believe that! I mean we all have our moments when our kids or even other people's kids drive us bonkers! But, when your someones foster mom and your condition on whether or not they stay with you is that they took their coat off! Its no wonder so many youth are raised with no empathy or emotion. If something that small can get you removed from a home, I assume you learn pretty darn quick not to give a damm! I was so angry, it took a lot not to say anything! I just keep saying prayers for that little boy and the foster mom!

So, week 2 of being inside! We'll survive!! After my night away, I am in a much better place!

S

Let it out!

Hi,
Has anyone seen the Kleenex commercial where the random people are talking and crying to the complete stranger and wiping their tears with of course...Kleenex? I love that song and found it on You tube. Here are the lyrics:

Do you want to lay your head on my shoulder? I don't mind if you cry. Sometimes we all just need to let it out. Just let your tears run down my arm, so I can keep them in a blue jar. We'll drink them later, so just let it out. Let it out. Let's take a walk just to clear our heads. I don't mind that you're holding my hand. You say you love me, so just let it out. Let it out. Your smile is a pleasant change from before; when you thought that you couldn't take anymore. Sometimes we all just need to let it out. Let it out. Let it out.

I think of people like Josh and Shelly and our family friends the Stutelbergs who have been through more hurt and loss than really is humanly possible to endure. I think of my sister in law and brother who went in for an ultrasound on Monday and found out that at 9 weeks, they were pregnant with twins, neither of which had a heartbeat.

Yes, the commerical is cheesy but sometimes, you do just have to let it out!

S

Sledding Fun

Well last night Jeff and I went to bed at midnight and woke up to 8 fresh inches of snow. It looked so beautiful when we woke up at 8:30 am!! We were quite blessed to have to kids who slept in till 8:30, ok so Caroline woke up at 3 but went back to sleep after her feeding till 8:30. After church we went to the sledding hill for Matthew's first sledding experience! He loved it. Actually he loved playing in the snow in our yard and then screamed his head off the whole way to the hill! Then cried the whole way home and when we finally brought Rosey cheek boy in after an hour and a half outside. I brought Caroline with us b/c I wanted to document the whole thing, she was less than thrilled! Oh well, fresh air does a body good! :)

Here are some pics! Also some pics of Matthew and Caroline and the BUMBO Seat! So cool, we love it!

SS

Praise!!

Last night Josh moved his hands!! Praise God!!! I invite anyone who reads my blog and doesn't know the Josh update website its www.greenhouseministries.org! Check it out, so inspirational!! I feel like nothing else is worth writing about. I literally am praying for them all day and even am woken at night to continue. Please add your prayers to mine! Its so cool to me how the Holy Spirit is convicting thousands!! of people to do the same thing!! God loves us so much!!
I am going to post some pics of Matthew and Caroline soon. Caroline is now sitting in her bumbo seat alot!!
S

Wow

I just read the lastest updates on Josh and can barely breathe, I am in such awe of that family, especially Josh. He is taking this latest tragedy with such steadfast conviction of faith. I don't know Josh at all. Jeff and I started going to LCC right when he and Shelly left to start Greenhouse. But, I feel through Shelly's blog and her comments on my blog and relationships with people at LCC that I know a little bit about him through their stories of him...what a true example of how to live and walk the Christian faith.

I have written so many blogs on how afraid I am of situations like what has occured to the Bucks happening to me. In fact, I have wasted a lot of time worrying. Reading what Josh had to say about how he feels about what happened and his response is so encouraging and convicting. How weak is my faith if I don't believe that. I am studying Romans in BSF right now and wouldn't you know that Monday night we talked about suffering and how its all for the good and glory of Christ. How we can't always understand why some families have to suffer more, we will find out in the eternal life what it all was for. One of the study exercises was to write Romans 8:38-39 over with what we fear. I wrote, " For I am convinced that not even losing Matthew, Caroline or Jeff, can seperate us from his love. Death can't and life can't The angels won't and all the powers of hell itself can not keep God's love away. Our fears for today, our worries about tommorrow or where we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean-nothing will ever be able to seperate us from the love of God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us."

I believe that and know that its making my relationship with Christ as strong as I can make it !That is the only thing that will see me or any of us through this life!

S

Power of Prayer

Hi
I continue to always be in awe of God...as my last post told you, Josh Buck, the old youth pastor at our church was in a serious diving accident in Mexico on Thursday. He was taken to Miami and had emergency surgery on Friday night. He was on a ventiliator and the doctors said it would be about 10 days until he got off it, only 2 days later he is off! PRAISE GOD!! We has a prayer vigil Friday night and again tonight in his honor. Tonight was so powerful to witness and truly feel God's prescence in the sanctuary. You knew that He heard our prayers and each person in that room believes fully that Josh will make a 100% recovery and God's power to accomplish that.

Last night Jeff and I had to go to a party for a friend of ours who finished his MBA. I was talking about Josh with my friend who is an ER doctor and she was greatly encouraged by what I had to told her about his progress. I then said, "We just have to keep praying and have faith that God will heal him" She looked at me kind of weirdly and said, " I think that God dosen't ever say This person will die or this person will be paralayzed, I think life just happens and its how you respond that shows your faith. I then asked, "So you don't think God hears and answers prayers?" She said no. I walked away feeling so badly for her, what a scary world it would be if I believed that our God didn't care about and hear and answer each and every prayer that is spoken to him!

I believe that Josh Buck will regain 100% of his faculities! I believe that our God that is capable of creating this amazing world can accomplish anything! I can't wait to tell my friend of Josh's recovery and glorify and praise God for what He accomplished!

S

Pray!!

Please pray for Josh Buck and his family. Josh was in a diving accident in Mexico on Thursday and is in Miami, Florida. He is on a ventilator and the extent of his injuries aren't yet known. Also, his wife Shelly is pregnant with a son, who is due in June, they also have a son, Noah and daughter Zoe. Please pray that God would heal him and comfort his entire family and especially Josh and Shelly.

S

I love my hubby!

I am really missing Jeff on the nights that he works! I am so thankful for all he does to help me with the kids, the house and how we know each other better than anyone else. Its funny when were watching tv, I can almost guarentee what he will say in any given situation. Especially if its a political commercial or report on the news. Usually I look at him and say, "Shush, I know what your going to say..." He just laughs! I was thinking of a David Grey song that I love that says that everyday is incomplete until he walks until the room and everytime I am talking to you its always over too soon. That is how I always felt when I liked/stalked:) him! I am so glad to say 10 years later I pretty much always feel like that. Not that I always show him that, I defintely can take him for granted. I am working on that!

I am excited for the weekend, my friend Beth is coming into town from Chicago tommorrow night and spending the night and Saturday with us. Then Sat night, Jeff and I are going out to a party for a friend of ours who just graduated the U of M MBA program. We are going to see several couples we haven't seen in awhile!

In a completly unrelated topic, I really think I want a third child! Jeff thinks I am nuts, but when I think about our family I think of us a family with 3 kids! So my question to you fellow bloggers is "How do you know when your done?" I hope none of you say just leave it up to GOd in the birth control department! Jeffy don't play that game:)

SUE

True to God!

Hi

I am annoyed right now and feel like what I am feeling I need to express. So watch out, usually when I feel this way I sleep on it and it comes out a lot less harsh!

I am tired of not sticking up for Christ. I don't enough with my friends who aren't Christians. I think I kind of do it because I don't want to seem pushy or have arguments everytime we have conversations but the thing is that its a huge part of me and I am not going to bite my tongue anymore.

I think this is all steming from a girls weekend I have coming up in a few weekends. Its in Chicago again and will heavily involve alcohol. I am fine with being around people who drink but I hate that I care if people will judge me for not getting wasted. Maybe that is the consequence I must endure for all the crappy choices I have previously made! Lately I feel like alot of my life is living with consequences of past decisions. Like, my friends, don't get me wrong, I have some wonderful friends from my past that are strong Christians and its great having them. I also have new friends who I can talk with. But, they don't have the same past as I do so we don't have that in common.

One prime example of this in my life is that I don't share this blog with everyone. Mostly I don't to non Christians...why? This is me or isn't it. I guess that is the real question. I think for the most part it is, but sometimes its more new sue than old sue and I am afraid that old Sue friends will be like, old Sue thinks new Sue can do no wrong. I guess I will have to take that chance because new Sue is here to stay!! And believe me new Sue screws up all the time, but she is sober! :)

S

Colic

Ok, I admit it, Caroline is colicky! I have really struggled with defining her with that but as I type this email I am thinking about the rough events of the day. She has a cold, nothing major but she's definetly uncomfortable. She has been alternating between 10-20 minute sleeping jags and then full blown screaming all day. To make matters a little more stressful, Jeff works every Saturday now doing taxes. Thankfully Jessica my niece came over and that made the day a little less crazy but when Jeff came home I was so glad to see him. I even convinced him that if we took the plies of cans in our garage back tommorrow that maybe we could get dinner out tonight! He said yes, I think he knew its been a rough week! Poor little girl!!

Now its four hours later and wouldn't you know it that little Miss Squeak has been sleeping since 4:30!! She woke up to eat and basically slept through it and me changing her into her pj's! She was laying on my lap peacefully for like an hour. Maybe she's just particular! I was watching this cheesy Lifetime movie called, "Mom at Sixteen" about a teenager who has a baby and her mom moves them to a new town and they pretend its the mom's baby and then she ends up giving him to her health teacher who struggles with infertility. TOTAL LIFETIME! But, one line in there struck me, they show the little boy at five at the end and they ask him why his birth mom is special to him and he says in a cute 5 year old voice,"Because I am the only one that has heard what my mommy's heart sounds like from the inside" I thought that was so special, sappy but special. I have been reading a book to Matthew by Barbara Kingsbury called, Let me Hold on Longer, TOTALLY BUY IT!! It talks about how life goes by so fast and you never really know when the "lasts" are happening with your kids as much as their firsts, how true! I always tear up at the end b/c it talks about the little boy growing up and going to college...Matthew always looks at me like if he could speak in sentences he would say, "Mom your a freak" :) Seriously though,great book!

They grow up so fast

Wow, Caroline will be three months on the 12th....I can't believe it! She is so much better with the Zantac. She really must have been in pain. She is so smiley lately...when I go get her from her swing or crib she is gets a glimpse of me and is all smiles....priceless! Matthew is being such a sweetie lately too. He went to the toddler room on Sunday and they have a little Bible lesson. Jeff and I were in the nursery working and we could see him sitting on the little chairs listening. It was so cute!

Tonight I went back to Bible Study Fellowship. It was good to be back. I ran into some of the girls from my group last year, we had a really close bond. We were cracking ourselves up right when the lecture portion began and this lady sitting in front of us totally reprimanded us..brought me right back to high school. The funniest part was that we are all "Princess Bride" movie fans and when the lady yelled at us last year for similiar antics, I quoted the scary witch in Princess Bride who yells, "Boo, Boo, Boo" to Robin Wright's character. So today, I simply wrote BOO in my journal and were all hysterical once again. Not very BSFey or nice but really funny. I hope some of you who read this have seen it or your thinking...WHAT?

Here are some pics of my big girl and her brother. The one of her in the car seat with the stoic face seems to say to me .."Mom what the heck! Am I ever allowed out of here? " Maybe someday when her crazy brother stops trying to shove cereal down her throat!! Seriously, I turned my back for like a minute and he had a honeycomb in her MOUTH!! Ahhh

Sue

Acid Reflux Baby

Poor Caroline has been definetively diagnosed with acid reflux. I took her in for a barium swollow test on Tuesday and she indeed has a signifigant reflux. So, she will be taking Zantac three times a day. I hope it helps, she has been a real bear lately. Just gets herself screaming and its sounds so pathetic. Its funny how I don't want people to think she is fussy.I don't know why I care. I mean, to me she only screams like that when her reflux is bad or if she is constipated, which is also often. I feel like if you had to take a poo really bad and your esophagus was burning with acid, and you couldn't talk and tell anyone, you'd cry too! I am glad its nothing too serious and hopefully the Zantac will ease her discomfort!

S

Resolutions

Yes, the dreaded word!! I was thinking back over the year and thinking what shall I doom myself to fail at?? That is how I feel about resolutions! Mine has been for as long as I can remember to lose weight. Some years I accomplish it here and there. Five pounds up, five pounds down mostly since Jeff and I have been married. But, this year I really am determined to let God have control of this issue. I haven't ever fully given it to Him, hence the failure at attempting to do it myself!

Last year, I was pretty into it, until I found out I was pregnant then I was like, "Forget it!!" So this year, I am joining Weight Watchers and working out at home. A gym membership isn't in the budget, by the way that is Jeff's resolution, we are staying on the BUDGET!! Plus, with Matthew and Caroline its hard to find time to go and Jeff is working three nights a week in addition to his regular job so no time for him to watch the kids. This means me getting my catucus out of bed early and getting walking or doing the Biggest Loser workout DVD. But,it also means, going to prayers or the Bible when I feel like eating and I know I shouldn't. I have tried this before and it totally works, but you have to DO IT! I am starting back to BSF this Monday and looking forward to that. Routines are great for me!

We did massive orgnanization and cleaning today. Jeff organized our Master bedroom closet, it looks so good! When he sets his mind to cleaning, he is incredible, too bad it doesn't happen alot!:( I am giving away alot of my old clothes. They are outdated and don't fit! I also went through the kids closets. Would you believe Miss Caroline has already outgrown an entire moving box full of clothes? Its really amazing how much she is growing. She is already out of some 6month stuff!! My sister bought her the cutest outfit and I couldn't even get the pants over her chubby little knees! Oh well, Grandma Betsy keeps her styling and profiling! I also took down the bassinet today. I was a little teary,I must admit! I keep having thoughts of a third. Jeff vetoes this but I say I am the president of family planning and he is Chief Financial Officer and that position doesn't allow for vetoeing! He said that as CFO, its his duty to inform me that if we don't pay off our debts, baby #3 isn't financially possible! Those darn accountants!

We better getting working on those resolutions!

S

What fun! What fun!

Christmas was very fun with Matthew this year! He had such a good time playing with his cousins! We started in Saturday and Grandma Barb's and then went to my parents house in Chicago on Sunday until Tuesday. My sister and her two kids who are Claire, age 5.5 and Patrick 2 and my brother who has Sophia who is going to be 2 on March 3rd were all there. My parents have a huge basement with more toys than we have! Plus, lots of open space! Matthew would just run and run! He slept so great because he was so worn out! I was sad we all couldn't be together longer! Caroline just hung out and layed on Papa alot! She was really fussy on Christmas night, then she pooped and was out like a light for the rest of the night! She is officially in her crib now! She has been going down for the night at 11 until 4:30 am and then eats and is down again till 7! Not bad!

My parents are heading to their FL condo next week and we won't see them until April. I am bummed! I love my parents so much and miss them if I go too long. My mom and I were talking about how girls are so loyal to their moms but boys basically ditch their moms in favor of their wives. I wonder if that is really true, could it be that Matthew could love someone more than me....NEVER! :)

Here are some Christmas pics! They are of Matthew with Sophia attacking my brother, Michael. Caroline laying on Papa and Claire and Sophia and Papa just chilling out!

Hold them close

I am feeling blue today. I just checked in on a little boy whose web page I have been following for over a year. I know about him through a mutual friend. He is 3.5 and has cancer and they found out today that its progressed. So, basically their Christmas present today was to find out that next year they won't have their little boy. Yet, his mom, keeps her spirits up and is hopeful that God would cure him. I am too, this little boy has surpassed all the time limits the doctors have given him, I hope God has big plans for his life to continue here on earth. Also, little Cameron, who I have mentioned in earlier blogs has had a whole host of new problems come up, nothing life threatning, but his parents are just beat from the host of mulitple doctors and specialists they see weekly and never knowing what issues will come up from week to week.

Through hearing all of this news, I just wish that I could somehow take away the pain these people are feeling. I just feel so badly for them and feel like I wish I could do something. Then I realized, PRAYERS! They so work! Lately, God has really blessed my prayer life with bringing specific people and very specific convictions about these people to my heart. Its an awesome feeling to feel like the Holy Spirit is prompting me on behalf of someone else! So,say a prayer for little Gage and little Cameron and their families. That no matter what 2007 brings them that they would depend on the strengh and peace that only Christ can provide!

Merry Christmas!
Sorry if this is a downer, this is life for these families!
Sue

Missing grandma

Hi
Its me again, two posts in two days. I am feeling quite accomplished, I just made a batch of cookies and a egg casserole for tommorrows LAMBS food fest! As I was baking today I was overwhelmed with a sudden memories of my grandma and how she would come to visit for the holidays. She would always arrive around the 18th and stay until the New Year. It was always such fun, she would bake, tell me stories and yes, sometimes in those teen years, annoy me with her "look"! The "look" is notorious now with my mom, sister and I. She had this way of saying with one glance, "Knock it off"! So today, as I sat baking I also sat tearing up kind of longing for those days. I know Christmas will be more fun with the kids as they get older, its just that right now it seems like a lot of work and that I am not enjoying it as much as I used to. So, I called my mom and told her how I was feeling and as usually she put in all in perspective. She said that it just changes. That there were things that she missed when she was my age and was starting the traditions with us that are now so cherished to me. That seemed neat to me, that maybe one day, Caroline will get teary thinking about her grandmas and all we did as a family! I mean if you can't make your children cry as adults what kind of parent are you?:)))))
Merry Christmas!

SUE

Accomplishing anything!

Hi
So, I blog stalk, I have no shame in it. I figure people have blogs so people can know stuff about them, if they were extremly private people they wouldn't even blog in the first place..right?! Anyways, I have been continously stalking the Hummel blog for so long I can't remember when I started. I am so in awe of what God has accomplished in their lives, in those babies lives. Its so inspiring and makes me want to just tell everyone how God has so blessed them. One of the most inspiring things about their story is that the mom prayed that one day God would give her a story. I am jealous of that because to be honest I would never pray for that. I would be too afraid that it might be something horrible and hard and that I couldn't make it. Then I remember that type of attitude really just shows that my faith is not where it should be. I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who STRENGTHENS me! That means ALL Things, not just the mundane, ordinary things of life. Yet, I still can't pray for a story because I foolishly feel like I would be surrending those things most precious in my life, Jeff, Matthew and Caroline. The irony in it all is that I control nothing and thinking I do is just not having faith. Faith that, despite what lies ahead for me, that I would get through it if I leaned upon Christ and through HIM I would perservere!
Learning, learning, growing, growing!
S

Santa

Yesterday I took Matthew to see Santa. He loved it as he did last year! That kid fears nothing!! He was very well behaved and it was one of those moments that you love being a mom and feel like your the best parent in the world!!:) We're officially in panic mode around here, too much to do and with the weather being so mild this week, I am not feeling as Christmasey as I would like!

Caroline went for her 2 month check up. She weighs 14'4 and is 23 inches long, putting her in the 95% for weight and 75% for height. The doctor said she looks great! We're transitioning her into her own crib. I am sad about it. I liked having her in our room but she really is more comfortable in her own crib. The last 3 nights however she has woken up at 4 to eat and doesn't go back to sleep till 6ish..uggh! The nice part of that is that she is wide awake and super smiley so I have tried to embrace it and enjoy it..heck that's what coffee is for right!!

S

Its been a crazy year!

I was thinking today that I can't believe how much our lives have changed in the past year. Last year we had an 8 month old and no immediate plans for more. Now we have a 20 month old and beautiful 8 week old. I have admitted in past blogging to being afraid sometimes of the plans God has for me, I have to admit this past year has been pretty darn sweet. So incredibly blessed!

Here are some past and present pics!
S

Pictures

So here it is, after several attempts with Matthew NOT cooperating at all this is the best picture for our card. Caroline looks a little goofy, but hey she is 8 weeks,she still is a little goofy looking:) We love Squeaky, our nickname for her! I think his smile is cute though!
S

Christmas Letters

Hi
So I have sent out a Christmas letter the past couple of years and am wondering if I should bother this year. Other than Caroline's arrival ,which all of our Christmas card recepients already know about, we don't have that much news. Our lives our pretty much the same as they were last year, except that now we have 2 kids and life is crazier which I assume would be overstating the obvious if I should write I letter. Plus, I hate the pukey ones where people are say things like, " Matthew and Caroline bring us such amazing joy every moment of their lives." Maybe I will send one out that says, " We're shocked Matthew hasn't been admitted to the ER for a serious injury since he has taken to climbing all over everything and never listens to his mommmy or daddy, thankfully Caroline never got the horrid stomach flu that had the rest of our family puking and running to the toliet for days on end!:) Wouldn't you love to get a brutally honest letter. Yes, I think I may be on to something....

GO AWAY!!

Well since my last post the Matthew, me, my mom, our Pastor's wife, my friend, her son and Wes all came down with the stomach flu! On Monday night at 1 am Matthew woke up puking. It was so sad, he was so scared and kept looking at me like, "What's happening?!" Jeff camped out in his room with him to keep me healthy... ha! At 6:30 I started and was sick all day! I am still not feeling good, very queasy and no appetite. Which is good since I started Weight Watchers last Sat! :) Not a diet plan I would recommend though! Matthew rebounded quickly but is now having it come out the "other end" TMI! I swear we haven't been healthy in a month between colds and now this! Thankfully Caroline hasn't gotten it and I am LYSOLYING the crap out of my house in hopes that she doesn't. I wish I could dip my whole house in it. I have been stuck inside for the past week and feel very stir crazy.

Tonight is an office party for Jeff's work and I have a babysitter coming for Matthew and am taking Caroline to grandmas so that should be a nice break. Next week we go to Chicago and hopefully to the Children's Museum so I will post pics from that! Hope your family is not sick and that its not my fault!

SUE

Dedications and Flus...eeew!

Hello

Well, Thanksgiving went well until Jeff's sister's little boy Derek, who is the same age as Matthew came down with one nasty stomach bug. We all had a nice dinner and then we went home about 7 for Matthew's bedtime. Soon after we left, Derek started throwing up, all over Kim and Wes's house! Luckily, we had the toys that Matthew brought over in a seperate bin, but he was still playing with him the entire afternoon. So we were wondering when it would hit, well that would be Sat night, Jeff started getting sick at 2 in the morning. Right after he fed Caroline, (I wasn't feeling very well early, no flu though)! He was sick all night and all day yesterday which was a major bummer because yesterday was Miss Caroline's dedication. I thought about rescheduling but to be honest didn't want to because we had already purchased all the luncheon stuff:( Horrible I know!:) So, Pastor Danny dedicated her with Jeff's part in abstenia:) We video taped it for him and Grandma Barb and Grandpa Bert because they also got the flu on Sat night. It was a nice day. Crazy and again I realize how wonderful of a father Jeff is. When he isn't around I feel a little crazy. Speaking of crazy...at one point we lost Matthew yesterday and I totally freaked, I am sure that everyone who was there made fun of me. I thought Allison was watching him and she thought my dad was and in the midst of all of that the little bugger opened the door to one of the sunday school rooms and was hiding. For anyone who has every misplaced a kid, the terror you feel after a few moments is horrible. I knew he was somewhere,I was just worried that he was hurt, that kid gets into anything that can cause permanent damage. Thankful Tanna found him safe and sound. My mom shared a story of one time when she took me to the beach when I was 3 and lost me for like 15 minutes, I had snuck off to the concession stand! Go figure!:) I can't imagine misplacing a kid at the beach!
So, Jeff is on the mend, Caroline is dedicated and Matthew has been found, Mommy is losing her mind:)
Here are some pics from the big day, with Caroline in her dress!
S

Thankfulness

Top Ten Reason's I am Thankful this Thanksgiving:

10. Caroline has pooped everyday for the last four!:)
9. Wonderful, helpful, loving husband
8. Great, supportive friends
7. TIVO
6. Great church family
5. Great pregnancy, no bedrest or high blood pressure
4. Being able to stay at home with my kids
3. Loving, fun, supportive extended family, (Jeff's and mine)
2. Matthew and Caroline
1. A God who is so very good!

Bonded

Hello
Some of you might not believe this, but yesterday after posting my woes, I seriously had such a transformation on how I felt about Caroline....it was like everything suddenly clicked and I felt like I was looking at her for the first time. Good thing too because we had a rough evening and night and I think if I wasn't feeling that way it would have been way worse. After spending over and hour crying hysterically, to the point that Jeff and I were going to take her to the ER, she just had the weirdest look on her face like she was in so much pain. She hadn't pooped in a long time again (5Days) and I had given her a suppository, TMI, I know. Well, it didn't work she still hadn't pooped this morning and I felt like everyone was telling me something different. So, I called the nurse and she had me bring her in and her is the 411,

It could be a few different things

1. She just is digesting the breast milk so well that she can go several days without one, this is what several people have told me and the lactation people insist this is all that is happening.
I know that this was the case with Matthew.

2. Her thyroid isn't functioning properly. To rule this out, she just has to have a blood test. If its not, she has to take meds for it.

3. She has something wrong with her colon where the nerves don't work and that part, which is at the bottom and basically gives you the " I have to go" feeling and has to be surgically removed! YIKES!

I went to Bronson to talk to the lactation people b/c she wasn't latching on and apparently I am a milking machine, they were very impressed, Kudos to myself:) They gave me some tips on handling her when she gets testy and when I left I felt much better. I am thinking there isn't anything really wrong with her and am happy that I felt so worried because it reminds me how much I love my sweet Caroline! I also went to my MOPS meeting and am just so blessed by that group!

Confessions

Hi

Today at my mom's Bible study I disclosed that I was just feeling not as connected to Caroline as I would hope. I have been feeling so guilty about this. I mean of course I love her more than I could say but I feel more obligated to her than I felt with Matthew. Now of course with your first your able to be more laid back, catch up on your sleep when they do, and just enjoy them more. I feel like I am just now enjoying her. Up until now I have felt like she was something on my to do list. I am sure some of you are thinking I am a horrible mom. But, I have a friend who also has two kids close together and she said the same thing and when I was telling everyone this morning how I was feeling they all looked at me like they understood. That or they were just being nice:)

I have to say that just a few minutes ago, after she nursed, she was so alert and smiling and I felt so in love with her. I guess its just the adjustment, the lack of sleep, the crazy 19month old who has taken to climbing all over everything, the gloomy, cold days that get to me sometimes.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING though and I love Christmas so all is well in the world!

s

Matthew

Hello
Yesterday was Matthew's speech assessment with Kalamazoo RESA. Just as I thought, he is delayed in expressive speech. Basically there are two types of speech receptive and expressive. Matthew can understand everything he sees and we say to him for the most part but can't say what he is thinking and feeling, yeah we know! Now I have something to blame all those tantrums on! :) I knew this was the case but still I can't help but think what didn't I do right, from stupid things like taking the cheapy prenatals to letting him watch too much tv. But, then I remind myself that this is a very common delay and that sooner than later he will start talking. I have to remind myself that my little boy does things on his own schedule. He sat up, crawled, walked, ran, all in his own time. That he is so bright and sweet and even if he never said a word I would still love him more than any blog could ever tell you!

The annoying part of all this is now he has to be tested by ANOTHER speech therapist for them to say for sure that he is delayed at least 9 months and then we will get free therapy. Otherwise we have to pay for it....thank goodness for that emergency fund:) Ahh, kids!

Caroline has also taken to being up and crying from 2-5 am the last three nights. This morning Jeff was holding her and saying how she can't do that anymore and she gave him her first smile! Too cute!

S

Stupid Blogger

I don't know what happened yesterday, but the pictures didn't post so hopefully these go through.

S

Halloween...Christmas!

Hello

First of all, the rush to get Christmas started is ridiculous! They are already playing Christmas songs on the radio..please! We had a fun Halloween. Matthew LOVED it! I thought he wouldn't really be all that into it, but he was! He loved his Tigger costume and trick or treating! Jeff took him to some of our neighbors and then to our church for the pumpkin party.He was a crazy man running around and playing all the games and collecting candy. He kept dragging his costume around the next day and wore it until nap..too cute! I stayed home for the trick or treaters aka way too old teens and adults, I mean really! Some of the teens were asking for specific candy, I about lost it. I had to stop myself from saying,"Hmm here is an idea, if you want a Milkey Way drive your sorry butt to Meijer and buy one, your TOO OLD TO TRICK or TREAT!" but I digress!:) I think I had less tolerance for that stuff this year because Caroline was pretty fussy and I was trying to nurse her and couldn't because of the doorbell and I am hormonal and sleep deprived!

Today we went to the Holiday parade in downtown KZoo with Grandma Barb and our friends Stephanie and Abe and their little girl Josie who is Matthew's age. Matthew was pretty awful the first half until the parade actually started and we started shoving an assortment of candy, goldfish, juice and string cheese down that little buggers throat! He is SOOOOOOOOoo strong willed. I am sure he gets it from his dad.. yeah right! Paybacks I tell you! I know alot of it is normal but gotta say not enjoying this stage at all. I spent all day Thursday crying, it was not a good parenting day at all. Do I get a do over?!

Here are some pics from Halloween and the parade. Caroline was an angel slept most of the way through it all, all bundled up. But she has been pretty fussy all afternoon and evening so I am hoping that means she will sleep alot tonight!