I had all intentions of not posting here anymore. Then a pandemic hit, and I feel like I want to document how our world looks right now. We live in Oakland Twp which is about forty-five minutes from Detroit. Our area has been hard hit. I work at both an Ascension hospital in Rochester ,and at St. Joe Oakland in Pontiac, Michigan. My Ascension job has gone to a virtual role as our family medicine clinic is only doing telehealth visits right now. I try to reach patients on the phone but it has definitely been hit or miss. I also have been trying to support our medical residents who have been staffing Ascension Rochester's Covid unit. At St.Joe I work with the pain and palliative care team as their medical social worker. It has been a hard month. Our visitor restrictions have made it that we must facilitate all meetings with families virtually. Having end of life discussions via Facetime is not for the faint of heart. It makes already difficult conversation even more heart wrenching. It feels impersonal, and we are desperate to give patients and families the personal connection they desperately are seeking. When I leave the hospital I drive home on an eerily empty highway that would usually be heavy with traffic, to the kids and Jeff, who is exclusively working from home. At first I didn't mind not having to rush to a myriad of sporting events, but now it just seems boring and weird when I am home.
The kids are actually handling all of this well. They all enjoy being home staying up late and sleeping in. They are good students so they can definitely handle the demands of virtual school. Of course Matthew and Caroline need frequent reminders that this is not an extended vacation.
Jeff has been dealing with a high calcium issue and needs to have his parathyroid out. It was originally scheduled for June,but now who knows? I have my six month MRI follow up for my pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor on May 5. This is my second surveillance MRI and my anxiety is always high for about three weeks; two weeks before the actual scan and the week I am waiting to hear my results. I am more anxious this time because if I have to have a major surgery, now is certainly not the time to do so with the entire healthcare system basically shut down. I was actually surprised that my MRI was not impacted by Covid. So between Jeff's parathyroid and my pancreas life continues to have this underlying stress even without a pandemic. However what that past five years has taught us is life can be tough but you just have to keep going. Finding joy in the little things really does make a big difference!
I am grateful that the kids aren't little as they have to manage mostly by themselves when it comes to school during the day as I am at the hospital three days a week and Jeff work is demanding as ever.
It has been sweet to seem them growing closer together and hanging out nicely.
I hope wherever you are that you and your family are managing! I know that many people have been furloughed and that the weight of this all is emotionally very heavy for all of us. Keep your chin up and look for that one thing everyday that makes you smile!
