$13 in beer bottles...

Did the title draw you in?:) One thing I hate about Jeff and I is that we are the world's biggest procrastinators. We will let some things go for much longer than I care to admit. Like the cupboard doors that have been off the kitchen cabinet for nearly two years, the broken snow blower, the missing mulching piece off the lawn mower (which means Jeff has to bag our horridly big yard, every time he mows!) and the list goes on and on. Today as I made my way through another procrastinated spot, the garage, the sight of the endless beer bottles was too much for me to take. I decided, with three kids finally back in school after THREE snow DAYS, that I could tackle this chore. I loaded them up and headed to return them. After all, there is nothing more satisfying than seeing the tally add up in the machine, and the satisfaction of seeing a pile of bottles magically turn into money in your pocket! By the end I had almost fifteen dollars. I set out to do the shopping for dinner and was proud to that for once when the clerk asked, "Do you have any coupons or bottle receipts?" I could say enthusiastically, "Why, yes, yes I do!!". Well of course, as is par for the course for me, I misplaced the biggest receipt somewhere in the midst of D&W and was left with two measly receipts for 40 cents. I lamented to the clerk, " I had $13! I did!" and then, sounding like a fore lorn three year old, sadly said, " But, I lost it." I tried to spin it positively in my head, thinking, "Someone who really needed the money for groceries probably found it!" But, the cynic in my is really thinking, "No, poor people would never come to this overpriced store, it's more likely a rich person buying liquor!" Bastards. In the end I decided to laugh it off and  to NEVER tell Jeff the truth for I'd never hear the end of it.
Of course I have to make this into a life lesson for the sake of this blog, right? I guess the lesson would be that this is the STORY of my life. All good intentions with no follow through and plenty of lost bottle receipts. Ahhh, such is life. Thankfully tomorrow is another day and thanks to Jeff and his love of raspberry shock top,  there will always be more bottles to return!

New Year blues

2014 has gotten off to a bit of a craptastic start. I will preface this post by saying that I know I am overwhelmingly blessed. We have all the important things one needs in life. Okay, now that I have gotten that out of the way, on to the moaning and groaning. It all began around Christmas. I wrote in my last post how I just couldn't seem to get my act together during the holiday season. I never did seem to catch the holiday spirit which really was hard for me because I am such a lover of all things Christmas. Christmas rolled into New Years and the funk has continued. I feel restless and generally discontent. Worst of all,  I am not sure of how to find my way out of this abyss. It's at times like this, when I am so very thankful for a partner like Jeff. Oh, how that man knows me. We've had some pretty good heart to heart talks these past few weeks. We've set financial goals and are trying our best to make a concerted effort to work on our marriage and being a stronger, more connected couple.  I read on a Momastery post that Glennon wrote about how when she got married her parents told her they wouldn't contribute much financially towards a big wedding because really you need to get ten years in to really celebrate. How those sentiments resonate with me. I told Jeff the other night, through a tearful mini-breakdown, that sometimes it seems like so much work to be an adult. With job stress, debt stress, kid stress, relationship stress, faith stress, it sometimes can seem like every day is a struggle. I long for those carefree days of youth.
I still feel like I am in a limbo of sorts when it comes to my faith. I have been searching my heart for answers to why I seem to always have issues with my faith. The most important step in reconciling it being going to God in prayer, daily, even when I feel like I am not worthy.
On top of this emotional angst there have been broken down cars and other issues that make it easy to become discouraged. Still, I know that things could be so much worse and feel grateful for the little blessings and encouragement that have come along the way. The kids are doing great. My husband loves me. I have a job I love. I have so many lifelong friends who I am able to call on a moments notice and twenty minutes later I feel hopeful and heard. Most importantly, I have God who I know, even through my doubts, longs for me to bring him all of my brokenness and put it back together, piece by piece. Here's to hoping for happier days in this new year..