Rejection

So last night I had yet another God moment. First of all I really can't believe the grace he provides us..it really never ceases to amaze me. I have been really struggling lately with some post surgery issues in regards to my past issues with weight related rejection. I am not going to go in to detail but basically when I was heavier I definetly made some decisions that I would never had if I would have felt better about my body. Not to say that I didn't have a good self esteem, I think I always have had a pretty decent self image. However since I feel even better about my self I feel some resentment towards people who treated me less than ideally when I was heavier. I also feel irriated by myself for allowing some of the things that happened to occur and not being stronger.
So anyways, I have really been not at all into my Bible study or my Bible for that matter. I find anything and everything to do besides that. Then for the last two weeks I have had things come up that have kept me from going. This week I planned on going but Jeff ended up having alot to do at work and didn't get home until almost seven so I thought I may not go last night either but I was really feeling like God was saying" GET YOUR BUTT there!" I usually try not to directly argue with the big guy so I went and BOY was I meant to be there. There are many times when I am somewhere and hear a speaker, etc and feel like "This is why its so cool to be a Christian...how could you not believe in a God who so PERSONALLY cares about us." I am sure there were many other women who were there last night who felt the same as I did but what Beth Moore had to say about Rejection and the healing redemption that only Christ can offer was what I desperately needed to hear. I came home and had a heart to heart with Jeff about many of the things we had discussed and what I heard and truly felt a weight lifted off of me. What a great God we have!
S

No title post

I have no creative titles in my mind today! Just some quick updates. I kepp forgetting to blog about my mom's upcoming knee replacement surgery. She had her right knee replaced about five years ago and it went really well. For the past year her left knee has been really bothering her and this summer it down right kept her from doing alot. So, on October 9th she goes in to have the left one sawed off! Sounds harsh but that's basically what they do. Hopefully she recovers as well as she did last time. She was an orthopedic nurse in her "other" life so she is pretty vigilant about doing what needs to be done.
Matthew continues to love and do well at preschool. His teacher said today that she was really impressed with his ability to retain information!:) So smart! We are continuing with OT for him for the time being. I think it does help him alot. Caroline has her speech assessment in Mid October. I am pretty sure she will qualify b/c although she has alot of words, she struggles with annunciation. She also goes back to Grand Rapids to the optometrist this time who is also a patching expert. They will do a 6 month check up on her eyes. I think she may need new frames as she has been taking her glasses off alot lately.
Next weekend we're heading to Chicago to go to my girlfriends party to celebrate her August nuputials in Hawaii. We're also celebrating Caroline's 2nd birthday there since my sister and her kids will also be in town and b/c my mom can't travel obviously here for her birthday.
MOPS starts tommorrow. I am excited to be a group leader this year and have a break from MOPPETS. I think the kids will enjoy it too. Last year I left them home with Grandma Barb b/c it was too overwhelming to have them and be in charge of the childcare.
Jeff has started the Wild at Heart bible study with some guys at church. He seems pretty excited about it. I have to admit I am still struggling with getting into my Bible study. I have missed the last two which isn't good at keeping you on track. Hmm
This weekend Jeff is taking Matthew to the zoo and Matthew is most likely spend one night at Grandma's. He is very excited about that!! Saturday night we have our monthly euchre game.
Life just keeps on keeping on here in Portage!
S

Getting into a routine

We're slowly getting into a fall routine around here. Matthew is doing really well at preschool and seems to already be learning lots! He told me on Tuesday that his name starts with M and sang a song about Noah's ark..pretty impressive! Caroline is loving her Kindermusik class! I am so glad we signed her up..she is adorable in it! I think she really loves having some mommy time with me, she is a totally different child when she is alone. Speaking of Caroline, on Monday she endured yet more physical trauma b/c of me! We were at the mall and as I was loading Matthew in the car as we were leaving Caroline was in the stroller next to the passenger front seat door, I put my purse in the front seat and when I closed the door..she stuck her WHOLE hand in! It was one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen..her little, tiny hand stuck in the door. She obviously screamed and her little hand immediately swelled up. I just started driving towards the hospital (Which is also daddy's place of employment)b/c I thought for sure she broke some fingers. But as we drove there she stopped crying and was totally using that hand to eat crackers..go figure that girl will never turn down a cracker:)! When we met Jeff at the ER we decided b/c she would totally let us bend them and touch them and was using them that she didn't need to be seen. I took her home and iced them and gave her Motrin. Today they are back to normal! Very traumatic though!
Jeff is going to Cinncinati this weekend for a "guys" weekend. I had my fun last weekend in Chicago while I was there for a bridal shower for a friend. I am trying not to dread being alone. Actually we have a pretty full weekend with a trip to the zoo and a birthday party to attend and of course church. Plus, thank you to any of you who have been lifting me in prayer in regards to my parenting struggles..lately I have been feeling so much happier and more in control of my emotions and especially my anger. Matthew has been so sweet and well behaved! Yeah!
S

Preschool begins

Matthew had his first day at preschool today. It went good...until the end. They let them go on the playground for all of two minutes which doesn't go well with my " I hate transitions"kid! He proceeded to run to the slide and say,"No! No! I am staying! and then quietly shouted "Stupid"! Nice..nice! I was like hmmm how should I handle this? I could go the calm, rational mommy route or the bribe the hell out him route. I chose the latter! I basically offered the kid everything but a new bike to get him quietly out of there. Bad parenting? Perhaps? But hey when the crap hits the fan this mommy offers gum..it works nearly everytime!
Speaking of bad parenting. I am still on my quest to try and not model it so much. I am taking a boundaries class that is being offered in Sunday school and have just started my new Beth Moore BS about the Fruits of the Spirit. One thing I am ashamed to admit is that I CAN'T FIND MY BIBLE! Go figure that I am constantly feeling out of control. This is the story of my spiritual life. When I am good..I am really good. When I am bad........it gets so bad that I have to claw and grab my way back to some type of sanity. You would think after 18 years of being a Christian that I would learn that consistent prayer and BS WORKS! I am so irritated by myself! Oh well..good thing for Grace hey?
S

I will post crazy man preschool pics later...he did look very cute and besides the "playground" incident he was actually very well behaved!

Little Jake

Jaime called and said that Jake died this afternoon. He lived for two hours after his parents took him off the vent. I don't know these people but my heart breaks for their unimaginable loss. I would just ask that you join me in lifting them all in prayer. He was a twin and had a twin sister and his mom is pregnant with a third child. Yuck!
S

Pray for Jake

Please pray for my friend Jaime's friend whose son is in the ICU at Helen DeVos children's hospital in Grand Rapids. Its a strange, freakish turn of events but what began as a normal fever turned into him having a seizure, stopping breathing and he is now on a vent and has brain swelling and damage if he survives. Jaime said the family is making some pretty tough decisions over the next few days. They are Christians but we can all imagine the hell they are going through. Pray for a miracle!

Sue

Crazy Caroline

I forgot in my break to tell you all about some things that have happened with Caroline as of late. First of...hello terrible twos..a month early! She is so full of temper tantrums! My neighbor laughs b/c you can often hear me say "Caroline, if you don't knock it off..I am going to sell you to the lowest bidder!":) She started a kindermusik class today and was a wild maniac! All of the other kids just sat there patiently and quietly on their mother's laps while Caroline ran around screaming and dive bombing me!! She had fun though and really that is all that counts! Also,a week ago Sunday, I accidently pulled her ligament out of place in her elbow! We were walking in a parking lot and I was holding her hand and suddenly she pulled away and to her knees! I felt the POP..eeew! She immediately started crying, but now her normal ear piercing, shrill cry, this was more of a "Ouch mommy,that hurts!" We took her home and I knew something was wrong b/c she wouldn't suck her fingers or drink juice and that girl is a juiceaholic! I called my ped office and luckily they have Sunday hours. They told us to come right over and popped it right back in and she was instantly fine. Poor thing! No more holding her by her wrists!
This week we're just enjoying our last week of summer before Matthew starts preschool next Tuesday. This weekend I have a baby shower for some friends and I think we're hosting a bonfire here on Sat night.
Have a good week!
S