Pumpkin patch "NOT"so much fun!

Here is a slideshow from today's trip to Gull Meadows Farms! Matthew was rotten. Caroline was very good! You win some, you lose some I guess!:)

S

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Thanks for the bone..God!:)

Last night was hard for me. I really felt bad for my friend whose little boy is in the hospital. I have know Pam since I was 13 and never had I heard such panic and concern in her voice. She is stoic in the greatest sense of the word. When Jeff and I prayed before bed he said one and then, usually, its my turn to reinterate or add something but last night I was just silent. He wondered why and I said, " I feel bad b/c I feel like I am losing faith in the power of prayer. Like no matter what I pray, its only up to God so I might as well wait and see where he takes me before praying." Jeff, in his usual way said.."Hmm,thats not good. God listens to us,He cares what we want" I wasn't so convinced. So, I prayed that I wouldn't pray with that feeling in my heart. That I would pray expectantly and have faith that God would give me the desires of my heart.

So, when I called Pam this morning and she sounded so much better and said Jake is doing so much better and Caroline's apt went so well I said to my friend Carrie, "I think God knew I needed a bone!" Of course I am kidding but it felt good to have things go right for one day at least!

S

Caroline's eye apt

Well, Caroline had her eye apt this am..bright and early at 7:30!! It turns out she has moderate farsightedness in her left eye and will have to wear glasses when she is closer to 2. The exam went well until they dialated her eyes and then she was very angry and cried hysterically whenever he tried to shine the light in her eyes! It was so pathetic. He said she was a "toughy"!:) She may also have to wear a patch down the road too.

Updated prayer request: Our friends' little boy, Jacob who had surgery Monday, had a raging fever all night Tuesday and all day yesterday. It finally broke and so hopefully he is on the mend. But, please pray for him and his parents, Pat and Pam. I spoke with Pam last night and again today and she sounded much better. It obviously has been a stressful week for them!

THANKS!

S

MOPS BEGINS

Tommorrow! I think I am ready..I hope I am ready!! I am glad that Matthew and Caroline will be staying here with Grandma..I think I would die if I had to worry about them on top of all the other kids!
Please pray for my patience with Matthew! I have no way of sugar coating it..he is really pissing me off lately! How is that for transparant?! Seriously..I could list all the naughty things he has done lately but what good would that do. I have been trying to sneak into his room when he is asleep and hold his little hand and just pray over him, for him, for us, for me...etc! It has helped some but he is really on a naughty streak lately. In fact his new favorite sentence is "ME NAUGHTY!"
Amen Brother!
I still love him bunches and bunches and of course in the middle of night, when I am holding that warm little hand I think "Oh, its not so bad!" and then when he, for example is running like a crazy man throughout the ped office where I took Caroline for the third time in less than a week, this time for a mystery rash, and he is hitting me, pulling the paper roll of the table, throwing books, etc.Which forces me to leave hastily thinking.."Did I even talk to the doctor?" UGGH!
Its a fleeting season..I have to keep repeating that. Soon my little ones will be grown and doing really bad things..hopefully not!
And, last but certainly not least, please pray for Caroline's eye appt on Thursday at 7am..yuck!
S

Tough news

I got a call from a friend of mine that is on the steering team at MOPS with me and sadly, one of our other friends/steering team members lost her baby on Friday. She was 32 weeks pregnant! She had to go in for a c section on Saturday. My heart breaks for her. Please pray for her, her name is Heather and her son Dominic, who is 4 was so excited to be a big brother. To make matters tougher, his fifth birthday was on Sunday and there was a big party planned that they went ahead and had.

Little Jacob's surgery was this morning. I am praying that it goes well..no word yet! Jake's moms birthday is also today! Not the best way to spend your birthday huh!

Then another girlfriend of mine's mom had to go to the ER last night with severe abdominal pain. They aren't quite sure what is going on! So keep Patsy in your prayers too!

Hopefully the next post will bear better news!

One good things, Caroline seems to be finally getting over her illness! Yipee

S

Poor baby

Little Caroline is pretty sick right now. She has had a bad cough for almost 2 weeks now. They gave her an antibiodic last Friday, but yesterday she came down with a pretty high temp and was really coughing bad. So much so that she was almost throwing up from all her coughing..I know TMI! Anyways, I brought her back in and she now has developed bronchitis. She is so pathetic when she is sick. She just layed on me all afternoon and slept. She keeps looking at me with her soulful little eyes like she is thinking,"I feel yuck mommmy" I hope the new med kicks in soon and that she is on the mend.
Of course, Jeff is leaving this afternoon for a guys weekend. Not that he doesn't deserve it..totally he does. But, it sucks to be the parent left behind with a sickie and a stinky...that being Matthew who, God love him ,has been a really stinker this week!

S

more pics

Long lost camera

I left my camera in Hudsonville about a month ago and finally got it back!! The kids and Barb and I went to Milham park today and to Cici's Pizza for lunch. Matthew and Caroline had a blast at the park. We did have to scare Matthew about the ducks "biting" him b/c he was getting a little too brazen! Here are some recent pics of the kids. You will notice Caroline's eye in at least one of the pics,her apt is next Thursday so hopefully we will get some answers then!

S

LIttle Jake

Please pray for our good friends little boy, Jake. He is 18 months old and they just found out that he has a hole in his diaphram and each time he takes a breath, his intestines are going up inside the hole, which can cause a fatal twisting of his bowels! Praise God that they were on vacation last week in Disney and a few times he fell asleep in the stroller and his dad noticed his breathing was strange and that his chest seemed to be really struggling with each breath. Pam and Pat, Jake's mom and dad, are Jeff and I close friends. Pat was Jeff's bestman and we've been friends for several years. There are so many parts of the story of discovering what was wrong with Jake and the miracle of him not having any serious side effects or worse, dying. Thank you God for protecting this little boy so far. He most likely will be having surgery in Ann Arbor the end of this week.

Although I wish Jake wouldn't need surgery at all, after getting off the phone with Pam I was so greatful for how God really does protect his people and love us. And of course, His plan is perfect!!

S

They don't think they're going to hell..

Nice title huh? This is a statement Jeff, my darling husband made to me about some of our non Christian friends. Actually the conversation started like this

ME: Did you call Abe and invite him to church on Sunday?
J: No
ME: Well, are you?
J: Maybe
ME, with ever the slightest nag voice:)So, you don't care if they go tell hell?
J: What?
ME: Well, if they died today, they'd go to hell and we could have helped stop that!
At this point he just kind of looks at me like"How do I answer her, without her freaking out?!"
ME: I just don't get why our Non Christian friends don't worry about going to hell?
J: Thats the thing, they don't think they are..they don't believe any of it, including the hell part.
ME: Good point
Then, today, Josh spoke at our church. For those of you who read or stalk my blog who don't know Josh Buck, he was the youth pastor at our church two years ago. His daughter, Ava, who was Matthew's age, died in a crib accident in Aug 05. Then, last January he was in an accident and is a quadrapeligic. He spoke today about pain and suffering and basically why bad things happen to good people. It was very interesting and especially coming from someone who truly embodies pretty much the epitomy of "bad things happening to good people". What I got from his message was that God is more interested in fashioning us to becoming more like Christ, than He is in our "comfort and happiness" Yes, he wants us to be happy, but ulitimately he wants us to be more like Christ and to glorify Him.
As we drove away from church, Jeff and I talked about how no one else could really ever give that message. That only someone who has been through what Josh has can really have any validity in statements like that. If I got up there and said similiar things I am sure people would be like, "Sure, whatever, but lets see what you would do if the going got tough?" Things have gotten tough for the Bucks but they remain steadfast in their faith and promises of eternal life through a relationship with Christ. They know this life is so fleeting. I wish Abe would have been there. (and by the way, we did invite them) They came over for dinner last night and we were talking about Josh and I said to his wife, " I think if you heard what he had to say you might have trouble not beleving in God" To which she responded," I believe in something, I like to think of it as HP(high power), I just don't like to tie it to one thing like God" I didn't respond b/c she knows where I stand. But, I can't help but wonder if they had been there would they not want a taste of a GOD who someone can still faithfully turn to, pray to, believe in, worship, adore, plead with, cry at and I am sure at time shout at.Wouldn't they at least be like, hmm, this guy has been through hell and yet there is something really awesome about his HP? I have to wonder?
Another thing Josh said that struck me is to enjoy the blessing of the mundane, the ordinary. I think because of my personality,to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop or all hell to break loose,to be pessimistic to a pretty substantial degree, that I do to a certain degree really cherish the small things in life. Like last night for example, I spent some serious time blog reading on some really depressing issues. When I went back upstairs, Jeff said Matthew was asking me to come up and tuck him in. As I entered his room and saw my precious little guy laying there in his big boy bed I thought to myself, " I could yell at him and tell him to go to bed or I could crawl in and snuggle the stuffing out of him. I chose the latter and he just about broke my heart with his sweet little kisses and hugs and his little lispy voice saying" I wub you" I felt like the luckiest lady in the world.
So, as I read over the post, its a little random but its what I have been thinking about tonight...
S

Funny doctors..happier moms

My mom saw the hematologist today and all is well. He said that her reaction in her platelets was due to one of her meds and that it wasn't even all that dangerous and she continue taking it and just have her levels montiored. She said he was a younger guy with a funny sense of humor but reassured her that he had no bad news for her. I guess my dad, who has remained eternally optomistic broke down once he left the room, rumor has it he even shed a tear. Not to make fun of this at all. I know its been hard for him to see her go through all of this. I think he just doesn't want to go there in his head. But,my mom said he was afraid that she had bone cancer. In other good news, her lung scan came back absolutely fine too. So, we are breathing a little easier this Friday.Its been a bit of a rollercoaster this summer for our family..always seemingly waiting on results and tests to be run. Today, I got a card in the mail from a friend who said she was praying for my mom and our family and it just reaffirmed how glad I am to have a faith and God to lean on. Yes, things can always be worse off and I am sure that our family will see more hard times than not but knowing we having a loving, caring God who we can lean on surely helps!! Do I hear an AMEN?? My comments are lacking people!!:)

SUE

If you ask them, they just might come...

This is how I need to start thinking about asking people to church, MOPS, etc. I am working on it and getting better but still I know I fall short. This Sunday, Josh Buck is speaking at our church so I have invited alot of our non Christian and Christian friends. His message is just so powerful that I am hopeful and prayerful that they will come and be touched by something they hear from him. Tonight I went to a friends jewelery party and ended up inviting several moms to my MOPS group. I feel more comfortable doing that somehow. I think that its because I struggle with aspects of our church right now. I love our small group and the friends I have made through it. To be honest, its what keeps me keeping on at times. But, also there are things like our Pastor calling to see how my mom is doing. Those things do make a difference and lets face it no church is perfect!

So, I am going to start inviting the heck out of people..and maybe one life will be transformed from a simple step made by me.

S

More mom prayers

Mom found out today that her platelets are lower still than they were on Friday. She has to go to the doctor this afternoon to figure out what the stink is going on. She was very down again so it was a short and not particularly sweet conversation. Afterwards I called my sister and about 2 minutes in started crying like a newborn baby. She is always the voice of reason and is positive and keeps things in perspective..typical firstborn! When I got off the phone I felt better but then thought that I have to have another kid sometime b/c just one person to turn to who knows your crazy self and family just isn't enough...

Siblings and especially sisters are great things!! Thanks God for sisters!

S

God says yes, God say no

God is usually pretty clear with me on where and how he wants me to do certain things. One of these areas is working. Before I had the kids, it was downright eery, in a good way, how much I felt like His hand was playing a part in where I worked. I always felt very good about moves I would make career wise. So, when I decided to stop when Matthew was born that felt right. Lately, because of money issues and "going crazy b/c I have two kids under 2" syndrome I had looked into part time work. This time however, I didn't feel God's blessing in it. Things weren't working out, no one would call me back, the hours wouldn't work, etc. Finally, I have realized that He wants me home with my kids, he wants me to learn the lessons that being at home full time provides. I think He wants me to watch our neighbor girls on a part time basis too for the discipline that would provide and of course the financial benefits. Cool feeling though to know I am not fighting His plan.

In other news. I have been approved by my health insurance company for weight loss surgery. This is something that I have contemplated for years but recently really seriously started looking into. I am greatly encouraged by the swiftness of my health insurance company.I will have to have it done in Grand Rapids, because they are very particular that it be done by surgeons who have done many surgeries which is important. I am still at the beginning stages but am hopefully that I am on the road to a healthier and happier Sue. I can't remember ever being thin and now its really just gotten out of control. I am hoping for a "do over" in this area of my life. Surely with all I have learned from the various books, diets, nutrionists, etc I can become and stay thinner and live a long and happy life for my family and of course myself.

So, lots going on here. Off to get a haircut!!

S

Ikkey feeling

That is how I am feeling right now. My mom needs some more prayers. Actually, today I think she was feeling a little more optomistic. She had an apt with her rheumatologist and everything was checking out ok,but they did some blood work just to see where she is at since some of her meds can have pretty strong implications. So, tonight I was at Joanne fabrics picking out fabic for a chair I am having recovered and was talking to my mom about which one I should choose. I called her again after I left and she answered abruptly and told me she was talking to the dr and had to call me back. It was 7pm and you know most docs aren't calling to shoot the breeze at 7 on a Friday. Then, to make matters worse I didn't hear from her until 9:30. It turns out her platelets are pretty low. There are a couple of reasons why this could happen I guess. They are going to retest her on Tuesday. She was pretty down and not up for a lot of questions which to be honest irritates the crap out of me. I want to scream.." I am just worried ok!!!"

Then, Miss Caroline's eye situation is worsening and that is freaking me out. I wish our apt was sooner. I know its most likely nothing very serious but some people are making it seem like because it suddenly presented itself that its not good. I just want some medical professional whom I trust to give me an honest account of what is going on and how to treat it.

So, ickk! Thanks for the prayers!

S

God in the details

I know he is but I love a good story to show just how in it he is..

So, my friend and neighbor's father had a liver transplant last September and had a hernia complication a few months ago. He had a pretty rough go of it for awhile but was starting to feel better and then recently felt like he had developed another one. So, he was on his way to Ann Arbor have a CAT scan and as he pulled into the hospital he got a call from the surgeon who did his last operation on the hernia. It turned out that they were going to do the CAT scan the way they regularly do it for just anybody but when you've had a liver or kidney transplant you can't because you have a really bad reaction. I am certainly leaving out some details here, but how God is that?? That his surgeon would call him, as he is pulling in to have a potentially harmful procedure done? Only God can orchestrate something like that.

Funnier yet, Jamie, my neighbor and his daughter just called and I said, " Hey I was just writing about your dad on my blog, you don't mind do you?" She said no that she was happy to share something that would perhaps convince others of the realness and caring of God. Of course me and my cynical attitude said, " When I hear stories like that and think of people who still deny God, it makes me want to scream ..IDIOTS!"

As my niece Claire would say.."Idiot isn't a nice word Aunt Susan"
Point taken!

Good Weekend to all and to all a Good Night!

Words for thought

I read this on another blog today and thought it was just so appropriate for all of us, no matter what is going on within our lives:

Nothing surprises God. What puzzles us is permitted by our Lord, for reasons too profound to grasp. It is put together in the counsel of His own will so that it fits perfectly into His plan for His glory and for His purposes. As His servant, I say in response, ‘I will not fear. Though I don’t understand it, I will not fear. Though You take something that’s deeply significant to me, though You allow a catastrophe to strike, I will not fear. I will not blame, I will not doubt, and I will not question.’ Cease striving, and know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)”

Pretty huge words huh?? True but also hard for us humans to take. Our family friend who has been through such horrific nightmares in her life said to my mom the other day "Whoever is behind me in line to get into heaven better be prepared for a long wait..I have some serious questions for the big guy!" Obviously kidding, but I think alot of us feel that way about so many things.

S

No laboring for us!

We have had a really nice, relaxing weekend. Friday I took the kids to Grand Rapids to visit some friends. It was a beautiful day and the kids had fun. Friday night Jeff and I went out to eat with some friends to Chilis...tasty! Saturday we just hung out, Jeff mowed and then at night we went to a bonfire birthday party at our friends house. Sunday was church,which didn't go well at all. We haven't been there in awhile between vacations, sickness, etc. Matthew and Caroline were freaking out and they are changing it all around so we didn't exactly know what was going on. Hopefully once things settle down it will be ok again. Last night Jeff went to a friends bbq/housewarming while I stayed with the kids. I watched GONE WITH THE WIND. Good movie, I realized I had never seen it in its entirety. Then I watched KRAMER vs KRAMER..and cried like a baby. If you've never seen it I highly recommend it. Today we have just been hanging out again. We're going to some friends for another bbq tonight and so I spent alot of the am preparing what I am taking. Matt and Jeff played outside. Caroline kept getting under foot!:) Speaking of Caroline, please pray for her eye. The wandering is getting worse and she doesn't go to the doctor till the end of the month.

School's back tommorrow which doesn't affect us but it will be nice to have our fall activites back in full force. MOPS is still stressing me out, but it will get done. My brother in law called last night and asked if I had put him in my blog yet. He was shocked to learn I have one and wanted to know what I write about. After reading through today's post I guess I would say alot of nothing!! So, I am wondering if he found it somehow because he is also on the "DO NOT READ" list. Maybe I will give all the people in my life access. I mean, it can't be worse than the Jason Gehoski torment. Then maybe I would at least get some more comments. I think I have like 4 readers now!

A funny side story about my sister and her family,which includes said Brother in law. They just got back from vacationing in Maine. They flew in and out of Boston but had some time to kill on Sat so they were taking the train into the city. They ended up sitting next to either a man suffering from bipolar or terrets. He was swearing at them and called my sister "The fat *%$#@ in the pink polo" and my niece who is 6 was horrified. She ended up asking if she could put her sunglasses on to avoid staring. My nephew who is three kept saying "MOTHER $#@!" " Ooo..he said bad word!" My sister and her husband are just praying that it would all end soon. After the detrained, Claire was very upset at why he was acting like that. My sister explained in a six year old way that sometimes people are sick with the flu and sometimes they are sick in the head and that was the way the man was. So, now my sister and her family have been in CRAZY MATTY!!

Happy Labor day!!

S















Have a good week!

S