Prayer needed

Yesterday I found out that our good friends, Mike and Erin lost their baby girl. She was 20 weeks pregnant and her water broke and she went into labor. The baby died in utero but they were able to hold her and name her. Her name was Erin Michele. I am so sad for these friends. Not only for the loss of their daughter, but also because a bunch of us are friends from college and there are 3 others that are due at the same time. So, I know that will always serve as a reminder, not like she would ever forget. I have been praying constantly for them to feel comfort from God. So, please say a prayer for them.

S

One thing right..today anyways!

So for a long time now when I am reading Matthew books or we're reading Bible stories I will ask him "Where does Jesus live?" For awhile because of his speech delay he said nothing, then he started saying "Werk.." which is Matthew speak for work, I think he thought Jesus tagged along with daddy. But today, when I asked he said, "In my heart" and pointed there. Talk about melting mine! WOW! It was one of those "ah-ha" moments as a mom. Where I just stood there, glad that age 2 years, 4months that my little boy knows that. That despite all the days that I am feeling " Man, am I screwing these kids up or what?", that with a prayerful and convicted heart I am hopeful that Matthew and Caroline will contiune to always know and believe that Jesus does live within them and that they live lives for Him based on a strong foundation that we layed for them!

S

God..a million, Satan..zip!

Ok, I posted about my MOPS frustrations with recruiting volunteers and then went upstairs to receive over five people who agreed to help! AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNN! I know those of us on the Steering team have been praying hard and to see these calls being returned and prayers being answered really gives me hope in alot of things in my life..He cares even about the details of my mom's group!! Cool!

SUE

p.s.
I hope your not thinking there won't be anymore ranting! Come on people..its me were talking about!:))

Satan hates MOPS!..of course he does!

That pretty much says it all..and because of that..my life has been not so fun lately!! Trying to get people to volunteer twice a month for two hours is near impossible!! I am about ready to say to someone when they say," I just can't this year.." WHATEVER!!! You can, you just SUCK and won't!! If your reading this and are one of those people..sorry blog hazard I guess. I don't take for granted one second of the time and effort that people put in at all!!! Its very much appreciated! Its just very stressful and its unbelievable how many won't help!!

Please be in prayer for this ministry! Its so great and that is probably the reason Satan hates it so!!

S

Nice weekend away...

This weekend was a first for me in a long time, I think since I had Caroline...I got to sleep in two days in a row! My friend Sarah is pregnant and having a complication so I volunteered to come up to her house in Lansing and take care of her and just hang out. I was suppose to have a girls weekend with some high school friends so I already had "booked" Jeff:)

So, I headed out Friday evening around 5pm and arrived home around noon today. It was GLORIOUS!! We just hung out, rented movies, went out to eat twice (don't tell her doctor:). I made her some meals for her and her husband and twin 15month old girls to have this week. We spent time watching bad movies, bad tv, blog stalking..etc! It was so enjoyable to just DO NOTHING! I missed the kids but it was nice to have a break, especially on the heals of Jeff being gone and traveling with the kids to Chicago last week.

I can't believe summer is almost over! I am ready though. I love fall, except allergies, which have kicked in full force! Last night I was awake for almost 2 hours coughing and sneezing. Thank goodness for Zyrtec and Allergra!

Have a good week!
S

Heavy Heart

That is how I am feeling tonight..the trip to Chicago went pretty good. Although, it was really hard to see that my mom's disease has taken a toll on her muscles. Its really weird..she has problems with her proximtal muscles,which are where your muscles meet up with other sets of muscles. So, she can't pick the kids up or hold them really. She has a lot of trouble getting her legs into a car. Its like the are paralyzed. She has to literally pick them up and put them into position. But, thankfully, she can walk and climb stairs. Her medicine has also had a lot of crappy side affects like a horrible mouth sore that isn't healing and losing lots of hair and growing hair in areas you don't want hair. Her spirits seem better than when we had her party but she is definetly not herself. The kids had fun there..but I realized how much I relied on my mom to help me in the past for sure. Matthew loved the children's museum I took him to so all in all it was a good trip, just different.

When I got home I checked the Bucks blog and my heart just really aches for them and especially for Josh. I can't imagine the irritation he must feel daily. I was telling a friend that I spend so much time thinking about him during the day and wishing that I had a magic wand to make it all "better". As, I read Shelly's post and then immediately spoke to my mom who had some more discouraging and dissapointing news about our family friend who is recently divorced I felt annoyed with God. Kind of like.." YOu have the magic wand..you can make these people's lives better..DO IT!!" I then went to small group and vented about some of the things I was feeling and that helped. But, as I drove home I defintely felt like instead of feeling just sad for these people, I need to pray specifically for the hardships they face and the struggles the so graciously admit to having! Me feeling bad for my friend or Josh doesn't serve any purpose and getting angry with God certainly doesn't. But, specific, daily prayer can!

My heart is already lighter!
S

How times have changed

Yesterday, Jeff, me and Caroline went up to Grand Haven for a party at our college friends, Amy and Tony's house. It was a nice day, despite the rain and nine little ones under the age of three running around like crazy. I had mixed feelings about leaving Mathew with Grandma because I know he would have fun there. But, he would have been so crazy and since Jeff and the guys were going boating we decided not to. Caroline loved crawling around and playing with the other kids and since she is so laid back it wasn't as stressful for me just to have her. It was weird looking around at all the kids and thinking of how much life and parties have changed since we all started hanging out a little over ten years ago. Its cool, because there is that history there and we all go through the same stages for the most part at the same time.

We were bad this morning and skipped church! Shame! Shame! It was storming out and Jeff let me sleep in till 9:30 and I just couldn't get it together. I feel bad. I haven't been to our church in like a month. Between vacation, and sick kids. Last week I went to a different church to see what it was like. It was ok, total Willow Creek wanabe. Since we went to the real deal and lived down the street from it for two years, I kind of am turned of by WCW(Willow Creek Wannabe) churches. I know the serve a purpose, but for me, I like a smaller community and the really showy services don't really serve me for where I am at in my walk. To each there own. This church is really growing and so that makes me think they must be a lot of people's cup of tea.

Tommorrow me and the kids are headed to Chicago. I am taking Matthew to a children's museum on Tuesday so that should be fun. Jeff will be gone till Weds night so at least it will break up the time that he is gone and the kids can see Grandma and Papa!

S

"The Office"

The Office is hands down one of the funniest shows to ever be on t.v. I love it!! Every time I watch it I am literally rolling. If your reading this and don't agree, I would strongly argue that your lacking in the sense of humor department. When I meet people who are like, " You like that show? " " I don't get it" I want to be like.." Hmm, I guess we can't be friends then!" Just joking..sort of :)

I was just watching a rerun and thought I would post about it!
Have a good weekend.

S

More eye trouble for Squeaky

That is what we call Caroline..even Matthew is calling her that in addition to the usual "Anna"! Anyways, after all the trama of the eye stuff a few weeks ago I have noticed that when she is eating a bottle or baby food her left eye rolls inward. So, I took her to the doctor today and she noticed it too (she happen to be eating a bottle at the office) and so she has to go back to the opthamologist to get some advice from them. They think she will either need a patch or glasses to strengthen the weak eye! It seems relatively minor compared with the scariness that could have been a few weeks ago! Maybe she can be a pirate for Halloween!:)

We decided not to take her back to the first doc, he wasn't that impressive. So, we have to wait until September 27th to get her in to the practice they suggested. But, the doctor said that is fine! So now we will have a helmet and a patch/and or a pair of glasses to remember these wonderful early days by! I can just imagine taking them out when they are in their twenties and showing them!

We may be going to Chicago next week to see my parents. I mentioned it to my mom b/c Jeff has a business trip through Thursday and I thought it might help break up the week. I wasn't sure if my mom would be up for it b/c she has had my niece there all week for "Camp Grandma" and my sister and her inlaws are coming this weekend to take my niece and my sister's sister in laws little girl to the American Girl store, so she will have a weekend of company in addition. Then my dad makes it sound like she is so weak and tired and not herself and basically gave me the impression not to come. I will admit that when I got off the phone I did cry. Mostly because I miss my mom feeling normal and we have no certainty that she will feel like herself anytime soon. In fact, they have told her it could take up to 2 years for her to regain her injured muscles, which is basically her upper body muscles. In addition she is on some heavy duty meds to keep the dermamyotosis at bay. I thought this sucks for like a minute then remembered there are many more people in worse situations then us and sucked it up. Then my mom called later tonight and said when I picked up the phone

" Hello, Susan, I could barely dial, I am so weak!"
To which I responded
"What? mom??"
Mom: " Dad told me what he said and he is crazy..I am fine. Please come if you want to .

We decided that my dad is missing free reign at golfing..he is a total addict. So,we just might go. A little all over the place tonight..my apologies!
S

South Haven Slide Show..I think

Free MySpace slideshows, photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here are some of our pictures...I have never done the slideshow thing before so hopefully it works!

SUE

South Haven 07

So, I have been a lucky girl to be able to have joined Jeff's family on their annual South Haven summer trip for six years now. It started when we were dating and we would just veg out and read, sleep in too late and eat way too much. Then, then two years ago we had little Matthew and the South Haven trip was transformed and I dare say, if you would have asked me last year...ruined forever. Especially that first year when he was only three months old and we were stuck inside and Jeff had no vacation because he had a new job. Last year was hard because we didn't go to South Haven, we went to West Olive,just outside of Grand Haven and it rained almost all week and Matthew was, I hate to admit, a huge pain! But, this year, I decided to have a different attitude. One of "this might not be fun for me, but Matthew could have a great time so just forget about pre Matthew South Haven..because that ship done sailed!" :)) I have to say that attitude transformed my vacation. We had so much fun! Here are my top memories

1. Watching Matthew bond with his cousins. He loves them so much! Especially "JesCA" and "Allica"..who really goes by Allison, but for some reason Matthew couldn't get it and just morphed their names together. They were so helpful with the kids!! I owe them the world!

2. Running in his little swim suit down to the beach, waddling all the way !

3. Running to greet Barb every morning with such joy screaching " AMA!! AMA!"

4. Watching movies with him in the umbrella stroller for 45 minutes straight because for some reason it was his favorite chill spot, even though he hates the stroller normally!

5. I slept with him each night which is something we never do and he just would sense I was in there and migrate towards me, on top of me, in most cases ! Then,each morning I was awoken to a flood of kisses and him saying "Boo Mama, boo" and the sweetest smile this side of Lake Michigan!

6. Seeing just how sweet and laid back Miss Caroline is! You could plop her down or on a lap and she was completly content.

7. Caroline being fed by daddy each night, since mom was on "Matthew duty"

8. Just enjoying my kids and not missing South Haven trips of the past! Sure, we're are all exhausted and worn out but we enjoyed ourselves and made many new memories. We felt like a family, our own little unit! This week made me so grateful for my husband, my marriage, my kids and I wouldn't trade anything for that!

Pics will follow sometime this week!
S

We're back

We arrived home from South Haven early this morning. We had a great time! Matthew was in heaven there! He had so, so much fun! When he realized we were pulling into our subdivision he started crying and said "No, Ama, Ama!" He couldn't get enough of his cousins and of course Ama and Papa. The weather was so so but we still got in plenty of beach and swim time. I am going to download the pics later and will post more then! I will say I was having total blog withdrawl while gone! I miss my "regulars!"!! Glad to be back!

S

Sweeter yet!

I finally downloaded some pics before vacation tommorrow, which by the way I have packed not a thing as of yet! I am more the type of person who likes to wait till the last minute, frantically throw everything in a bag and then forgot half my stuff!!

The pics are more of Caroline, the one in the crib with her peaking over is how we find her every morning and night!! arrgh! She has taken to night waking again and no matter how long you let her cry she hangs on..she is relentless when she has an empty tummy! One is of Matthew on his new bed..the floor! That is where we have found him the last three nights! Just to prove we do indeed have a bed, I included a pic of that! We ordered his frame and it will arrive in a couple of months. I think he just gets down and dinks around and then gets tired, lays down and goes to sleep! Another is of his favorite chore...vaccuuming. I took this to use against him when he is 12 and gives me attitude about helping out! Another is of Matt and Caroline in there favorite position, intertwined with one another, with Caroline stealing pacies! She is one tough cookie!

We went to my friends's inlaws cottage again today..no near drownings. But, he must of remember the trauma of that because he kept saying "Oww" and pointing to his ears b/c he has tubes and shouldn't get them wet..at least he learned! He is fighting a small cold and wasn't himself! I hope he gets plenty of rest b/c he will need it for his week at the Lake! Please pray that I don't lose my mind chasing after him and that they both stay safe!

S

Sweet

Caroline is defintely sweet..here is a picture of her my sister took..I always seem to post more Matthew pics! Sh eis really developing a little personality. She loves to just study other people and will gaze at you very soulfully. Goodness!

S

A little better

That is how my mom is feeling, but her spirits are much improved..so thanks if you've been praying for her. I have been spending alot of time talking to her on the phone, for those of you that know me your probably thinking "Don't you already talk to her alot?" Yes, but I have been spending longer periods on and she is seeming more upbeat and positive!

Last night some friends from church and I went to the PARLOUR for some yummy, huge amounts of ice cream! Very, very tasty! They are both pregnant and sick and made me glad that I am not!!:)

Another frustating babysitting story, I had one today and when she came over she brought a book...she was watching the kids from 10:30-12:30 so I wondered how she thought she would have time for reading? Then,she neglected to ever change Matthew's diaper and it was filled with ewies! It looked like it had been there for a long while! I was really miffed! I mean come on!! I am so tired of feeling anxious when I leave that things won't get done. But, I can't always have Barb watch the kids so I think I will find some more WMU babysitters. Its so nice to have peace of mind that everything is ok!

Matthew is boycotting his nap today, he is up in his bigboy bed being naughty! We took all dangerous objects out so he is staying in there for at least an hour! We leave for vactation on Sat..lots of pics will follow!
S

The daughter becomes the mom?

That is how I am feeling lately with my mom. This morning I talked to her and she had been admitted and sounded very down! She was having to share a room with an older women who has a chronic cough and the bathroom they share doesn't have a shower. I asked my mom if she could get her own room and she said that they probably put her with someone b/c insurance doesn't cover private rooms. I had Matthew at the same hospital she is at so I know that you can for an additonal cost get your own room. But, when I suggested that she said no that she doesn't want to be a pain. When I pushed it more she got mad. So, I did what any good manipulative child would:) I called my dad on his cellphone. (He was down getting them coffee) and said.."Look into this or your next three days will be not fun!":) and twenty minutes later I got a call from her saying they had moved her! I mean it ends up costing less than a $100 a day so I say go for it!!

I felt really sad about my mom last night. She has been so not herself for almost three months now. Its really hard to hear her be so discouraged and down. The hardest part is that she may not ever feel like she use to and I am afraid if that happens I won't get my old mom back. There are so many projects around the house that we had planned on doing together and its dishearting to think that she may not be able to physically be "Supermom" anymore! But, I am still the luckiest girl in the world to have a great mom!

So please pray specifically that
the medicine will work and quickly
that all her cancer screening tests come out negative
that her muscles come back fully!

S