Dedications and Flus...eeew!

Hello

Well, Thanksgiving went well until Jeff's sister's little boy Derek, who is the same age as Matthew came down with one nasty stomach bug. We all had a nice dinner and then we went home about 7 for Matthew's bedtime. Soon after we left, Derek started throwing up, all over Kim and Wes's house! Luckily, we had the toys that Matthew brought over in a seperate bin, but he was still playing with him the entire afternoon. So we were wondering when it would hit, well that would be Sat night, Jeff started getting sick at 2 in the morning. Right after he fed Caroline, (I wasn't feeling very well early, no flu though)! He was sick all night and all day yesterday which was a major bummer because yesterday was Miss Caroline's dedication. I thought about rescheduling but to be honest didn't want to because we had already purchased all the luncheon stuff:( Horrible I know!:) So, Pastor Danny dedicated her with Jeff's part in abstenia:) We video taped it for him and Grandma Barb and Grandpa Bert because they also got the flu on Sat night. It was a nice day. Crazy and again I realize how wonderful of a father Jeff is. When he isn't around I feel a little crazy. Speaking of crazy...at one point we lost Matthew yesterday and I totally freaked, I am sure that everyone who was there made fun of me. I thought Allison was watching him and she thought my dad was and in the midst of all of that the little bugger opened the door to one of the sunday school rooms and was hiding. For anyone who has every misplaced a kid, the terror you feel after a few moments is horrible. I knew he was somewhere,I was just worried that he was hurt, that kid gets into anything that can cause permanent damage. Thankful Tanna found him safe and sound. My mom shared a story of one time when she took me to the beach when I was 3 and lost me for like 15 minutes, I had snuck off to the concession stand! Go figure!:) I can't imagine misplacing a kid at the beach!
So, Jeff is on the mend, Caroline is dedicated and Matthew has been found, Mommy is losing her mind:)
Here are some pics from the big day, with Caroline in her dress!
S

Thankfulness

Top Ten Reason's I am Thankful this Thanksgiving:

10. Caroline has pooped everyday for the last four!:)
9. Wonderful, helpful, loving husband
8. Great, supportive friends
7. TIVO
6. Great church family
5. Great pregnancy, no bedrest or high blood pressure
4. Being able to stay at home with my kids
3. Loving, fun, supportive extended family, (Jeff's and mine)
2. Matthew and Caroline
1. A God who is so very good!

Bonded

Hello
Some of you might not believe this, but yesterday after posting my woes, I seriously had such a transformation on how I felt about Caroline....it was like everything suddenly clicked and I felt like I was looking at her for the first time. Good thing too because we had a rough evening and night and I think if I wasn't feeling that way it would have been way worse. After spending over and hour crying hysterically, to the point that Jeff and I were going to take her to the ER, she just had the weirdest look on her face like she was in so much pain. She hadn't pooped in a long time again (5Days) and I had given her a suppository, TMI, I know. Well, it didn't work she still hadn't pooped this morning and I felt like everyone was telling me something different. So, I called the nurse and she had me bring her in and her is the 411,

It could be a few different things

1. She just is digesting the breast milk so well that she can go several days without one, this is what several people have told me and the lactation people insist this is all that is happening.
I know that this was the case with Matthew.

2. Her thyroid isn't functioning properly. To rule this out, she just has to have a blood test. If its not, she has to take meds for it.

3. She has something wrong with her colon where the nerves don't work and that part, which is at the bottom and basically gives you the " I have to go" feeling and has to be surgically removed! YIKES!

I went to Bronson to talk to the lactation people b/c she wasn't latching on and apparently I am a milking machine, they were very impressed, Kudos to myself:) They gave me some tips on handling her when she gets testy and when I left I felt much better. I am thinking there isn't anything really wrong with her and am happy that I felt so worried because it reminds me how much I love my sweet Caroline! I also went to my MOPS meeting and am just so blessed by that group!

Confessions

Hi

Today at my mom's Bible study I disclosed that I was just feeling not as connected to Caroline as I would hope. I have been feeling so guilty about this. I mean of course I love her more than I could say but I feel more obligated to her than I felt with Matthew. Now of course with your first your able to be more laid back, catch up on your sleep when they do, and just enjoy them more. I feel like I am just now enjoying her. Up until now I have felt like she was something on my to do list. I am sure some of you are thinking I am a horrible mom. But, I have a friend who also has two kids close together and she said the same thing and when I was telling everyone this morning how I was feeling they all looked at me like they understood. That or they were just being nice:)

I have to say that just a few minutes ago, after she nursed, she was so alert and smiling and I felt so in love with her. I guess its just the adjustment, the lack of sleep, the crazy 19month old who has taken to climbing all over everything, the gloomy, cold days that get to me sometimes.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING though and I love Christmas so all is well in the world!

s

Matthew

Hello
Yesterday was Matthew's speech assessment with Kalamazoo RESA. Just as I thought, he is delayed in expressive speech. Basically there are two types of speech receptive and expressive. Matthew can understand everything he sees and we say to him for the most part but can't say what he is thinking and feeling, yeah we know! Now I have something to blame all those tantrums on! :) I knew this was the case but still I can't help but think what didn't I do right, from stupid things like taking the cheapy prenatals to letting him watch too much tv. But, then I remind myself that this is a very common delay and that sooner than later he will start talking. I have to remind myself that my little boy does things on his own schedule. He sat up, crawled, walked, ran, all in his own time. That he is so bright and sweet and even if he never said a word I would still love him more than any blog could ever tell you!

The annoying part of all this is now he has to be tested by ANOTHER speech therapist for them to say for sure that he is delayed at least 9 months and then we will get free therapy. Otherwise we have to pay for it....thank goodness for that emergency fund:) Ahh, kids!

Caroline has also taken to being up and crying from 2-5 am the last three nights. This morning Jeff was holding her and saying how she can't do that anymore and she gave him her first smile! Too cute!

S

Stupid Blogger

I don't know what happened yesterday, but the pictures didn't post so hopefully these go through.

S

Halloween...Christmas!

Hello

First of all, the rush to get Christmas started is ridiculous! They are already playing Christmas songs on the radio..please! We had a fun Halloween. Matthew LOVED it! I thought he wouldn't really be all that into it, but he was! He loved his Tigger costume and trick or treating! Jeff took him to some of our neighbors and then to our church for the pumpkin party.He was a crazy man running around and playing all the games and collecting candy. He kept dragging his costume around the next day and wore it until nap..too cute! I stayed home for the trick or treaters aka way too old teens and adults, I mean really! Some of the teens were asking for specific candy, I about lost it. I had to stop myself from saying,"Hmm here is an idea, if you want a Milkey Way drive your sorry butt to Meijer and buy one, your TOO OLD TO TRICK or TREAT!" but I digress!:) I think I had less tolerance for that stuff this year because Caroline was pretty fussy and I was trying to nurse her and couldn't because of the doorbell and I am hormonal and sleep deprived!

Today we went to the Holiday parade in downtown KZoo with Grandma Barb and our friends Stephanie and Abe and their little girl Josie who is Matthew's age. Matthew was pretty awful the first half until the parade actually started and we started shoving an assortment of candy, goldfish, juice and string cheese down that little buggers throat! He is SOOOOOOOOoo strong willed. I am sure he gets it from his dad.. yeah right! Paybacks I tell you! I know alot of it is normal but gotta say not enjoying this stage at all. I spent all day Thursday crying, it was not a good parenting day at all. Do I get a do over?!

Here are some pics from Halloween and the parade. Caroline was an angel slept most of the way through it all, all bundled up. But she has been pretty fussy all afternoon and evening so I am hoping that means she will sleep alot tonight!