Friday, October 28, 2016

A big ol'break

Hello! I haven't been blogging much lately. That's because life is CRAZY! Soccer, hockey, work, laundry, cleaning, sleeping..repeat! It seems it was just Labor Day and now it is Halloween! Life happens fast. Lately I have been feeling slightly nostalgic about that. For example this week I have been running around costuming our kids, going to our church's trunk or treat, getting the kids ready early this morning for their school parties and then tonight the Harvest Party. While it can be exhausting and admittedly the last thing I want to do after a long week of work, I tried to cherish it. These moments are flying by. I KNOW I will miss these moments. So, instead of wishing it to go by, I tried to really enjoy my babies. Matthew who dressed up like Jake from State Farm, Caroline a Ghostbuster and Ellie a Zombie cheerleader. They had fun, they looked cute, and yes, I will admit, it was busy but fun week.
Tonight I chatted with a friend who I haven't seen in awhile. She asked me, "How are things?" I answered her with most of the normal chit chat that one does when you haven't seen someone in awhile. But, as I sit and really contemplate that question, I think I'd say, "Things are awesome."  Our family was in a very hard place for a very long time. Now, with considerable distance between where we were and where we are now, can I see how truly off the beaten path we (and by that I mean mostly me) were. We lost our footing. We lost our focus. We lost our purpose. Surving life got in the way of truly LIVING life.  Our faith was muddy to say the least.  Truly, a year ago, I couldn't imagine a life without the chaos that I had created. It had become my norm. So many lessons we've learned in this year. I'd like to say I can't wait to see 2016 go ,but really its been the best year of my life. It has been the year where I have really come into my own in my work life. I love what I do. I am passionate about patients and families understanding their healthcare and their choices. I love my family. It is a big old mess most of the time but it is my mess. The other night I overheard Jeff and Ellie talking and I thought to myself..this is what I always wanted. I remember meeting Jeff and knowing instantly he'd be the best dad. I have never been more right. In addition he happens to be the most understanding husband and best match for me that I could ever imagine! Jeff Simpson is the best decision I have ever made. Content. That's what I am feeling. Sure, there is still so much work to do. We have miles to go before we sleep. But, I no longer wake up feeling anxious and yucky ALL THE TIME. I rarely second guess myself and feel that I have surrounded our family and myself with people who ADD value. Compared to the last three years of is BLISS,
The kids are doing good. Caroline is doing well in fourth grade. She has a great teacher and a good group of kids. She had a great fall soccer season and is looking forward to indoor. Matthew, our fifth grader continues to tolerate school. He really misses his teacher from last year. But, I am realizing that my boy doesn't really like change. He is full throttle into hockey and doing well. Ellie, who is repeating first grade has struggled some. My confidant girl has become more anxious about going to school. I definitely underestimated how much she would miss her friends from last year. However, academically Ellie is doing well and we are confident that, in time, she will find a new friend group  and be just fine.
Jeff and I are still involved in our small group from church and continued to be blessed by the fellowship and accountability this group has given us.
We are looking forward to the coziness of the upcoming seasons of spending time with family at Thanksgiving and Christmas. We are thankful for new friendships and the grace that God has allowed in letting go of what wasn't meant to be. Life is good and God, most certainly is.  

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