Friday, November 16, 2012

To be thankful

This year for Thanksgiving I will be thankful that I don't have breast cancer. In the last few months I have gone through the horrible process of trying to figure out whether or not I had breast cancer. Incredibly long story short, it all began with a mammogram and several mammorgrams/ultrasounds, doctors appointments and finally a biopsy. I got the call today that there are no cancer cells present in the suspicious area. 1. Praise God and 2. Good gravy what a ride it has been. I never would have thought it would take so long to find out if you have a life threatening illness. I guess I always thought it would be abrupt and horrific and maybe it is when you really do have cancer.
The upside to all this time was it gave me time to think about what being diagnosed with breast cancer would look like for me and my family. I think it would look somewhat scary and definitely inconvienient. But no one really can pick a time when a cancer diagnosis would be convenient. I know I would be supported. I know the community in which we live and do this thing called life would rally around me and my family. This knowledge has provided me much solace in these last few weeks. I have a few friends who have endured the harsh realities of facing breast cancer themselves. I am so grateful that I was able to email them or call them with the millions of questions that would go through my head at any given time.
I feel like I have dodged a bullet. I feel like I always dodge bullets. Sometimes I wonder what that's all about? I know some people who seem to take more bullets than is fair in a lifetime of living. Instead of dwelling in that guilt, I choose instead to celebrate my clean breast bill of health with a grateful heart. To live each healthy day I have to the fullest. Whether that means to put down the donut and get my butt outside for a walk, hug on my little lovies, give 110% to the children I am privledged to serve at my internship that have suffered so much and yet are trying to survive, I will be thankful for the health I have. I have realized in these past months how very easily we take our health for granted. I promise to honor my health more in these final months of 2012 and to embrace it with gusto in 2013! Here is my annual Thankful list 2012
10. Ellie's sweet little voice, especially when she says, "Me big now!"
9. t/v shows, because sometimes looking forward to a mindless hour of t/v gets you through the day
8. Coffee
7. A home that provides us shelter and a place to create memories
6. My MSW friends, I have made some wonderful friends in the program and am grateful for the influence they have had in my life.
5. Sweet Caroline. Her spunk and sass keeps me honest and praying!
4. Matthew. He is becoming quite the young man and I love having a son.
3. Jeff, I could not do life without him
2. Friends. Lifelong, new, and somewhere in the middle. They get you through it all and make it more fun!
1. Jesus. Because His grace and strength can help me conquer anything, even cancer.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

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