A week into the fast a few things have become evident to me..
1. I have barely any willpower
2. I can still offer my first fruits.
Are you like, "What? What is a first fruit?" Basically its giving God your BEST not your half hearted attempt. A few days into the fast I realized that I should probably add some more proteins into the mix due to my gastric bypass and inability to absorb all the nutrients I eat. I have remained very strong in my resolve to not have pop or coffee. I also have been strict about the candy. I have had some treats but an overall eating healthy at every meal and not snacking. The devotionals from the Daniel Fast have been good but sadly I am STILL not doing DAILY devotionals. The new plan is to set my alarm for 6 a.m. every morning and do it. This has been my goal MANY, MANY, MANY times before. I hope that the difference is that through this past week, I have learned that there is time and there is a DIFFERENCE when I start my day with God.
Not having any willpower has sucked in a variety of ways. Namely, that I think its influenced my modifications. I simply can't hack a strict eating regime right now. It is hard enough to have three or four things on my "No-no" list. My attempts at modifications feel a bit like if you fall off the side of a cliff and you find yourself hanging on with two hands to the side. You're just glad both your hands are hanging on! I feel like if I added something it would the straw that broke the camels back and there I would tumble..down, down the side of the cliff into a big lake of "coffee, pop, oreos and hershey kisses."
One could certainly argue that modifying a fast isn't fasting at all. I argue not and here is where the first fruits part comes into play. The Daniel Fast devotional talks, on the first day, about how God is pleased when we offer him our best. There are plenty of examples of how when people in the Bible offer their shabby seconds God pretty much takes GREAT offense. There is certainly something to be said about that. After all HE offered His only SON that whoever believes in HIM shall have ETERNAL life. That is what I think is the main point of doing a fast, recognizing that I don't offer my BEST, everyday to God. I almost always go with the second fruit, and that is being generous. I will begin this week with adding back the resolution not to have any sweets like candy, cookies, cake, etc. I can do that. There is no reason why not and anything less would certainly not be a first fruit offering.
Also, I am determined to get myself on a daily quiet time regime. I think the first week has given me the incentive needed to make this a reality.
I think that God respects that I have at least started to live a more disciplined and spiritual life but I know he wants more of me. I have learned this week that I am ill equipped spiritually to handle pretty much anything. That is a frightening feeling and the catalyst I need to change and become well equipped spiritually.
So, the goals for this week are to
1. GET up at 6am every morning and spend 20 minutes at least with God
2. Continue with the fasting I have been doing.
3. Not eat any sweets...
One week at a time, baby!