I was listening to a new song I have fallen in love with recently and thinking to myself, "These words really remind me of someone who needs to cling to God through an awful time." I know I should never think like that, for it never fails to come true. Literally five minutes after thinking this I found an email in my inbox from Matthew's preschool teacher with the horrible news that his classmate from this past year's class,had drowned on Saturday.
Words can't even begin to describe the horrid pit of sadness that is so very deep within me these past few days. John was a dear,little soul. He was quiet, unassuming, as far as my contact with him went. He was one of six children and his mother had his littlest sibling, a sister, Christina only a day before Ellie was born. We almost always came into school at the same time, almost always running late, smiling at each other with that knowing mother glance of "Yep..late again!"
One day in particular as John was putting his coat in his locker,he stuck his foot, with what was obvious to be a new pair of shoes on it and he had this huge smile. I asked them if they were new and he just shook his yet with unspeakable joy on his face. The couple of times that I helped in Matthew's class, I would observe how nicely John played by himself, he seemed to have an amazing imagination and would kind of tune out the other kids. I joked with the teacher that he proabably liked the peace of being at school and playing whatever he wanted with lots of siblings at home.
I know John is in heaven. I know this. But my mother's heart knows that no matter how great we KNOW heaven WILL be..its not where we are and its so fundamentally against everything in our HUMAN nature to bury our dear, sweet lovely children.
Its times like this that make me ache for Christ to come back. I can't fathom what his parents must be enduring. So again, I do the only thing I can..to cry out to God to pour His grace,compassion and love on them. To thank him for what he did for all of us so that we know that ONE DAY HE WILL SET ALL THINGS RIGHT.
When you walked upon the Earth, you healed the broken, lost and hurt
I know you hate to see me cry
When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands
Your hands that shaped the world, are holding me, are holding me still...strong>These are some of the lyrcis to JJ Heller's Heaven Stands. If your heart is heavy..go,listen...and hopefully find the same peace I am in knowing that YOU NEVER have to leave His hands...