Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Marriage preservation

So lately I have been surrounded by people getting divorced. It started with two of my parents friends, who after 40 some years of marriage called it quits. Now it has trickled down to the demographic of which I am in (married about ten years, small kids, etc.) Yesterday my sister told me about a couple, for whom I nannied for and actually lived with for four months were calling it quits. My mom later asked me if I was shocked and I answered No..sadly, people giving up on their marriages seems to be happening all too frequently. Then, I started considering my own marriage. I mean, I lived with that couple, hung out with them alot and they seemed pretty happy, in fact, their marriage has a lot of similiarities to my own. It was seven years ago that all this occured and obviously alot could have gone on in those years. This lead me to seriously consider how much I potentially take my marriage and its well being for granted. I think that I do. I just assume that Jeff will always be there, always love me, always take care of us, always put up with me and whatever mood I decided he gets that day. I have joked before that I sometimes talk to Jeff like Kate Gosselin talked to Jon. Really, this isn't funny. I should be more honoring and respectful of him..always, not just when the mood strikes.
I blogged about making time for intimacy, and I don't want to be TMI here, but that is one area that we struggle in. But, I think this is defintely one area that people over look but can truly have detrimental consequences to the survival of a marriage. If you lose that part, what are you other than roomates and if your a roomie with your spouse it becomes way easier to "break your lease" so to speak.
I am saddened by all the people I know who are struggling in their marriages and especially for those who have deemed theirs unrepairable. My heart aches for the innocent victims, the children of these unions. I have been lifting these people in prayer because I truly believe our Lord is capable of restoring anything and no situation is ever hopeless. But, I also am determined to learn lessons from other people's mistakes and to remain proactive in my attempts to preserve my marriage.


Diane said...

I realized the last time I commented that it was anonymous. I'm not the greatest at this computer stuff, so I'm sorry for that.

I think it's so nice that you are so open about your marriage problems. It's hard to open up and put your heart on your sleeve. I'm sure your mom and dad are proud to know that they raised such an open person, who is willing to 'put herself out there". I agree you shouldn't treat your husband like John and Kate, she was so vicious. I know I've said you should have a show, but not that one! Ha, ha.

Anyway, as always, this is great advice for young couples. It is so important to make time for each other. But of course, such a clear belief seems typical for you, you guys really do seem to be in harmony, dealing with stuff as a regular family. Thanks for keeping it real, as they say. You really do have your act together, even when you're dealing with how you treat your DH. Keep on keeping on!

Hummel Family said...

I read this post a little while ago and it really stuck with me. I know what you mean about being surrounded with divorce. I can think of at least 15 couples from college who have divorced, most didn't make it to their 5 year anniversary. It is sad. I do think Satan is ripping people and marriages a part! BUT there is so much work that needs to take place between hubbies and wives, probably moreso in this era than ever before. I think the "bedroom" should be top on the list. If your hubby isn't fulfilled there, where is he going to turn so he can be fulfilled? Oh, I could go on and on about this subject.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder that marriage is WORK! Work pays off BIG time and Happiness blooms because of it. :)