Sunday, November 29, 2009

You really only have God

Basic principle but one I suddenly "Got" while reading Kate McRae's caringbridge page last week. For those readers of my blog who don't know about Kate. She is a little girl who is fighting a nasty brain tumor in Arizona along with her mom and dad and big sister and little brother. Her mom, Holly, made a comment about being thankful and how she has, in the past, always been thankful that her children were healthy. Now, in light of her daughter facing a horrid disease, she realized that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, she is thankful for a God to bring her through anything.
I have been reading Crazy Love as part of our small group study and have to say its impacted me more than any other Christian book I have ever read. I realize that I am more often than not a lukewarm Christian. I don't love God wholeheartedly. I tend to wax and wane and sadly waning is more my style. When I look at my journey, walk and faith over the last ten years, I am sad to say I haven't grown nearly as much as I could. I fear having a crazy love for Christ and know this is because I am so half hearted about my relationship with Him.
My FB status for Thanksgiving day was " I am thankful for my family, children and friends but most importantly for my faith in a God that would sustain me if it all went away tomorrow." I do truly believe this but I also believe that my faith is ill equipped to handle a major crisis. I liken it to a toddler who has had six months of swimming lessons being thrown into the deep end without any swimmies...can anyone say...TROUBLE. I don't want a lukewarm, crappy relationship. I want to love Christ with reckless abandon. I want everyone and anyone to know how much HE means to my life. I want to be so CRAZY in love that people actually say.."Whoa..that girl is CRAZY in love with CHRIST!"
With January upon us..I can't think of a better NEW YEAR'S Resolution..can you?!

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