Tuesday, June 23, 2009

11 weeks

I can hardly believe that I only have about 11 weeks left to go in this my FINAL pregnancy. I remember when I was pregnant with Caroline, about this time in it I thought the same thing but didn't truly feel like our family was complete. Boy, was I right:) Little Emma moves a ton which is nice but she is much more ailen like with her movements then Caroline was. Matthew barely moved at all! Sometimes I wish I had a window into my womb to see what the heck is going on in there!
I am growing very tired of how rude people can be about commenting on my pregnant girth. I don't know if its b/c I am thinner this time than with the other kids, but man, have I heard it all. Last Sunday at church, women, who I believe was a guest b/c I didn't recognize her said, "Due anyday huh?" I smiled politely and said, "Well, not really, actually I am due in Sept" She looked at me, with huge eyes and said, "OH MY GOD!!! NO WAY" " I just can't believe it, are you having twins?" I just looked at her with a disgusted look I am sure and said, " Well believe it and no, its just one" I do feel like lately the girth has gotten pretty substantial. I am always hungry too. But, I am still at less than ten pounds gained so I am ok with that.
I started this post three days ago! I am having trouble finding my way to the computer these days. At night, I seem to park it in front of the t.v and remain there, dozing in and out of sleep until I end up dragging my pregnant but upstairs to bed! This weekend is birthday weekend for us. We have our niece Allison's 15th birthday celebration tonight and our friend's from church's little boy's first bday tomorrow after church. Next week is busy with doctor, chiropractor and massage for me, birthday party for Matthew and my mom and brother are coming up on Thursday. My brother recently lost his job, and relocated back to Chicago with his family (wife, and two daughters ages 4 and 1) He is VERY handy but has always been way out of state, most recently in EDMONTON, CANADA! So, I am taking advantage of his vast home repair Bob Vila self and having him do all the stuff Jeff NEVER does! All of this and we're leaving of our week vacation to Silver Lake on the Fourth! Busy, busy, just the way I like it!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What to say?

Jaime and Steve brought little Sam home almost two weeks ago, in fact tomorrow will be two weeks. He is doing well, considering he has no left side of his heart. But, I am writing this post to ask for all of you Christian readers out there to please pray specifically for Jaime. Obviously, living next door to her, I see her and talk to her almost everyday. There are many things about having Sam home that are relatively "normal".He sleeps, he eats, and let it be said that he is a total sweetie! But, there are many more things that aren't "normal". They constantly have to be watching him for signs that he is struggling. All of us mommies out there know that when you have a newborn at home your constantly wondering, "Are they ok?" Imagine a world where you know your baby isn't ok but your not sure if he is not ok enough that you need to call the doctor or take him to the ER or worse yet the worst fear of every mother.
Today she called and was very upset b/c she is so tired and just overwhelmed by the gravity of this entire situation. Never in my life have I felt so helpless. There didn't seem to be anything I could say that could possible make it better. I know she wasn't expecting or wanting that but it hurts me so badly to see someone going through such a horrible time.
Later in the afternoon we took her new swanky stroller out for a walk to Hardings, something we did alot together last summer. Besides Caroline screaming for no apparent reason, it was a pretty normal event for us. Please pray that God would ease her mind, strengthen Sam, and continue to reveal himself to them .

Monday, June 15, 2009

A one child world!

I have decided that if I still only had one child I would be the calmest, most patient, fun mommy that ever existed! Matthew is at my parents until Wednesday. Caroline and I have some girly time and I am loving it! She is way more mellow without that little hooligan around:) This morning her speech therapist came over and Caroline was in rare form for her. I think she will be heading to OT in the near future. She defintely has some oral and auditory issues. Then we headed to Sam's club and as soon as she saw the building she screamed, "GOCK DOG!" that is Carolinespeak for hotdog. The kid is obsessed! She put down one of their jumbo ones in no time and excitedly proclaimed, "More Gock Dog!!" Then we stopped off at Schuring's to buy some more flowers for the yard. When we got home I tried to put her down for a nap but while I was planting I heard this little voice say from the upstairs window, " Hi Mama!" Her little finger and head pressed up against the crack in the screen. We need to get a celing fan in her room. She is way to naughty to have a fan in there. She would probably electracute herself playing with the plug and I can't safetly open the window very far because I caould see her thinking, " I think I will go sit on the roof!"
Tommorrow I am taking her to a KRESA outdoor playgroup and just hanging out before brother returns on Weds! We had fun in Chicago at our friend's house. The weather wasn't the greatest but the kids had fun playing(and so did the grownups!)

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

keepin it real

Ok, I have read two blog posts by Shelly Buck that have inspired me to have a "keepin it real" post of my own! I love reading Shelly's blog b/c its raw and honest and those happen to be two of my favorite things. Strange I know! The first one was on marriage and how their marriage got to a dangerously bad place. I am sure none of us, who can truly be honest with ourselves would ever be surprised at this. Jeff and I have been married for six years. Yes, I love him, yes,he is a wonderful father. But, since the arrival of our two small children our marriage has definetly taken its hits. Our kids are high energy, high maintanence, sensory challenged, little spit fires. They have taught me so much about my short comings and faults. Yes, they have also taught me wonderful things and I wouldn't trade them for ANYONE else..ever! But, they have shown me that when the going gets tough, this mama takes it out on daddy. I yell at him way too much. We were getting to a point awhile back where I thought we could very easily slip into the world of not really ever talking about anything except our kids for twenty years and one day wake up and say, "Yah, you..not so much, see ya!" I am sure no one needs details of anyone's intimate life but lets just say baby Simpson's conception was a miracle for lots of reasons, namely that we hardly ever go to bed at the same time and one day you just find yourself thinking, " When is the last time we kissed or hugged or snuggled?" Then I am out with friends and feel like everyone and their brother is kissing and hugging and "doing it" and I secretly wonder, "Seriously?!"
I know people are well aware of my faults as a mom, because they see me freaking out, or chasing Matthew or pulling myself off a screaming Caroline in the nursery EVERY SINGLE SUNDAY FOR THE LAST TWO AND A HALF YEARS:) I am way more willing to take the easy way out and that doesn't make for the best of anyone.
So, as I close in on Emma's arrival, I am finding that our life is so richly blessed. That I do have active, busy kids. But, they are healthy and happy and normal. I might not be making out everynight, snuggling on the couch with my husband but I am finding the time to kiss him and appreciate him and talk to him about something other than our kids. When I have Emma, I am sure my life will be turned upside down but I know I will hold that little girl with so much love and emotion having been tainted by the realities of what it means to bring home a baby your not sure will be with you forever. Will I continue to get frustrated? YES! Will I continue to start new discipline techniques and give up by 10am? YES!! Will I always be the best Christian God desires of me? NO! Will I keep trying and keep on keepin it real...YES! Will I keep eating pop tarts for breakfast while my kids munch on Trix and Cooca Puffs...HELL YES! Maybe I will throw in some flaxseed for good measure:)
Kudos to people like you, Shelly, for being real and keeping us laughing, crying and at the end of the day...becoming better women, friends, moms and wives!!

Monday, June 08, 2009

Girls weekend fun

I went to Bay Harbor in Petoskey this past weekend for my annual girl's weekend. It was so relaxing and lots of fun. We left early Friday morning and came back late afternoon Sunday. We went into Petoskey both Friday night for dinner and shopping and lunch on Saturday. We also went to a club at the casino on Saturday night for some of the best people watching I have ever experienced in my life. Serious stomach pains from laughing so hard all weekend! I have met all these girls through Jeff's buddies from high school and college. We have been friends now for over ten years. Its nice to have gone through some stages in life together and be able to confide in each other for various issues. These days alot of our conversations seem to revolve around child rearing and marriage issues.
Jeff stayed back here and held down the fort. I know I have said it before but I am so grateful for how willing and how wonderful he is about letting me get away. He is a truly awesome dad! (and husband)! This week is relatively slow. On Friday afternoon we're headed to Chicago to see our friend's Rachael and Scott in the Western Suburbs. They have two kids almost the same ages as M and C so it will be fun. Jeff is golfing with Scott on Saturday and Rachael and I are hoping for good weather so we can be outside in the FENCED in backyard with the kids. I love when we're somewhere with a fenced in yard so little Caroline can make a run for it! These days at 26 weeks pregnant,chasing her is getting harder and harder. I can't believe I only thirteen weeks left. It seems like I was just in shock at a positive test. I even get taken aback when I pass a mirror and see my ever expanding belly in the reflection..like, "Whoa...that's me, I am pregnant!"
Sam came home this weekend. What a difference two weeks makes. Last time I saw him he was on vent and now he looks like a normal, healthy little guy, minus the feeding tube. Its good to have them home!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Emma "WHAT" Simpson

Ok, thanks for all the comments! I am thinking were like 99.9% sure she will be Emma. The other day I said to Matthew, "What if we named the baby Molly instead of Emma?" He just looked at me with this exasperated expression and said, "No! Her name is Emma,stop asking me about that." I totally cracked up because that is totally his dad coming out! So, I took that as a sign to just stick with what my gut told me first! But, middle names that is trickier. Right now were, who am I kidding, I am thinking, Jane. This is Jeff's mom's middle name and I like the idea of naming my kids after special people in our lives. Matthew's middle name is Jeffrey, Caroline's is Carlysle after my beloved Grandma and so Jane is fitting. But, I do get some weird responses to Jane. Mostly of the " I think that sounds a little hickish" I also like Elizabeth b/c that is my mom's name. Finally, I am considering just having two middle names Emma Elizabeth Jane. But, I am not a huge fan of wordy names. Seriously, if this is all I have to worry about I should be counting my blessings. SOmetimes its just nice to blog about the mundane things in life.
In other news,this weekend I am heading up to Petoskey to Bay Harbor for my annual girl's weekend. I am so excited to just get away and relax. All of us are driving up Friday morning in my van and we will be there until Sunday. Its suppose to be cold, but heck, who cares. Sleeping in, eating out...no kids...heaven!