The past two days have been tough in the parenting world of Susan Simpson. I won't go into every hairy detail but some of my week included the following:
- falling down half a flight of stairs while holding Caroline. Thankfully neither of us sustained major damage but I did manage to badly cut and bruise my ankle and leg.
- Caroline running into the parking lot and almost making it to a major street b4 being saved my the manager at the resturant we were eating at. If you were wondering where I was, I was trying to console an hysterical almost four year old and failed to see her dodge past me!
- Many, many meltdowns!
Too many of my nights ended we me feeling very much alone and crying. I am in a valley of sorts. Our Pastor spoke of these very such things last Sunday and while I listened I thought of people in my life who I feel are "justified" to call themselves valley dwellers. But, as I tried to wrangle my screaming 2 and almost 4 year old from the park yesterday I thought, " No, this sucks, this certainly ain't no frickin mountain top, this is a crappy, crappy valley!" We were with Jaime and her girls and you could just see it on her face that she was thinking " Sucks to be you." (Of course this was in a nice, well meaning sort of way:) She called me later to see if I was ok and I said that I realized some things. I need to DAILY go to GOD and seek HIS will and WISDOM and STRENGTH for my life. To not just throw my arms up in defeat and think " This is as good as it gets." I got my MOPS monthly magazine the other day and there was an article that so directly spoke to my heart that I cut it out and it nows hangs on my fridge. The women who wrote the article could most definetly have been me ten years ago and she made four points that I feel are so very, very true. They are the following:
My children were created for a specific reason and are a gift to me.
We're on a good journey despite our ups and downs.
God will use these difficulties for His good and wise purposes!
I can be OK, even when my children are not!This last one especially hit close to home. They are 4 and 2...I am dangerously close to 34...so acting like I am 4 or 2...not cool!
So, I just have to go to God, be grateful for all I have and all that isn't in my valley and keep on keeping on.
And now for the title of my post! After Jeff got home and we fed the kids, I left to "let off some steam". I was planning on going directly to Barnes and Nobles to get a nice cup of tea ( since I can't have a much needed glass of wine). But as I drove there I caught a glimpse of my tear streaked,pastie white face and pulled into Kohl's instead. I first went to the maternity section and let me just digress and say how much I hate shopping for maternity clothes...they are so UGLY! Anyways, after a few minutes of trying on horribly unflattering shirts and pants, I b-lined to to the makeup section. Where to my great joy discovered Kohl's has a ton of free samples to try! So, I proceeded to completly redo my makeup, while the lady who worked the section looked at me with a stare that seemed to say, " Not the point lady, your suppose to buy stuff!" To which I shot back an equally terrifying look that hopefully said, " Don't mess with me lady, I am a pregnant mom on the edge here!" As I walked out, I even topped it all of with a few squirts of cheap Ashley Judd perfume. I took my freshly coifed, cheap smelling self to Barnes and Nobles and ordered my hot tea and a cookie to boot. I gathered a slew of magazines and along with my Bible and Esther bible study sat down to two hours of pure bliss. Just me, my IPOD, tea and reading matl's.
The point in all of this to me is a little dab of makeup may do you but a little dab of time with GOD and his word most certainly will NOT!
Thanks for listening!
On a really positive note, I saw the bambino on u/s today and it has arms and legs now!! Its looking more and more like a real baby! I just know this one is going to be my quiet, calm child...one can always hope!:)
Have a fantastic weekend!