I am doing the most recent Beth Moore study on Esther at Southridge Church. I will fully admit that with all the yucky, nauseousness, I have been really bad about getting there on Monday nights and have been even worse about completing my homework. But, last night, as I lay on the couch after yet another bout of dry heaving, I thought to myself, "Just cancel Barb and stay home" Jeff was working late and so barb was coming over to stay with the kids. Then I thought, " But, if I stay home I have to put the kids to bed, at least I can just sit and maybe learn something, just go" Nice mommy huh? So, I went and once again Beth and the HS powerfully spoke to me.
Last night's discussion was on FEAR and how it can ruin our walks and how the devil loves to use FEAR to bring us away from TRUSTING in our FAITH and the LORD. One profound thing Beth said that will forever stick with me is if ______ happened, meaning the worst thing you could imagine then what happens? Beth disclosed that one of her greatest fears is her husband falling in love with someone else and leaving her. She said she has really worked through this with God over the last 14 months and felt like when she would be fearing this God would say, then what? To which she listed off several reactions that would take place if indeed her husband left her b/c he fell in love with someone else. By the way, I couldn't imagine that being a fear for her! Why would anyone leave that godly women, just goes to show us how we're all human I guess. Anyways, she finished the sentence by saying, " If my husband left me, then my God would still be FAITHFUL, he would still be the SAME GOD! What a simple yet such a freeing statement. Because its so wonderfully true.
My blanks would be If one of my children died, then GOD WOULD STILL BE GOD! and He would carry me through it. I have seen this carried out in many of the women's lives I am privledged to know. I know that statement is true for Shelly and Jaime and JoEllen and in the lives of other's people's lives I read about. It just didn't seem to apply to me. Now, I am not saying that I welcome those things happening but at the end of the day FEARING them will no longer rule my life or my FAITH. I am sure some of you out there may be thinking," DUH!" But it was a profound moment for me. I nearly cried at the joy of not having to fear. Of knowing no matter what if, God will never leave me.