Tuesday, September 30, 2008


So last night I had yet another God moment. First of all I really can't believe the grace he provides us..it really never ceases to amaze me. I have been really struggling lately with some post surgery issues in regards to my past issues with weight related rejection. I am not going to go in to detail but basically when I was heavier I definetly made some decisions that I would never had if I would have felt better about my body. Not to say that I didn't have a good self esteem, I think I always have had a pretty decent self image. However since I feel even better about my self I feel some resentment towards people who treated me less than ideally when I was heavier. I also feel irriated by myself for allowing some of the things that happened to occur and not being stronger.
So anyways, I have really been not at all into my Bible study or my Bible for that matter. I find anything and everything to do besides that. Then for the last two weeks I have had things come up that have kept me from going. This week I planned on going but Jeff ended up having alot to do at work and didn't get home until almost seven so I thought I may not go last night either but I was really feeling like God was saying" GET YOUR BUTT there!" I usually try not to directly argue with the big guy so I went and BOY was I meant to be there. There are many times when I am somewhere and hear a speaker, etc and feel like "This is why its so cool to be a Christian...how could you not believe in a God who so PERSONALLY cares about us." I am sure there were many other women who were there last night who felt the same as I did but what Beth Moore had to say about Rejection and the healing redemption that only Christ can offer was what I desperately needed to hear. I came home and had a heart to heart with Jeff about many of the things we had discussed and what I heard and truly felt a weight lifted off of me. What a great God we have!

1 comment:

the fitz five said...

I have always enjoyed your honesty and willingness to let us in on your journey. I am glad that God is taking you down this path of healing and your obedience is inspirational. I love the end quote from Hope Floats when the little girl says "but mama says that childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to get over"... in some ways that is true. The early formative years even up to early 20's are when some of the best and worst things can and do happen to us. But it is such good pain working through it all hey?