Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Ava

Yesterday was the anniversary of Josh and Shelly's daughter, Ava's death. I have been thinking about them a lot lately and especially today. I remember last year, when it happened, I was in South Haven on vacation with Jeff's family and Matthew who is only 10 days older than Ava. I remember Wes calling me and having some bad news he wanted to tell Barb, he wouldn't tell me and I remember feeling such panic, thinking, "Who died" you know how you just know that the news is that horrible. Never did I imagine that it would be that horrible. I remember just clinging to Matthew and holding him close and crying. Jessica and Allison, who were in Josh's youth group, had so many questions that seemed to come up slowly throughout the next couple days. I remember Jessica in particular, who is a very quiet girl and introverted would just seem to blurt out a thought or question to me and she kept saying, " Its just so sad, why did that happen." They talked about how cute she was and how she was so pretty. I pray that God is comforting them today, that all the prayers that are being prayed are acting as one big, giant hug. I know that every death I have ever experienced, whether I know the person well or not, has taught me so much. Through their loss, I have learned never to take your kids for granted, to hold them a little longer when the fall asleep on you at night and just let the dishes sit in the sink, to turn off the tv and read Good Night Moon for the 500th time, to cherish every movement from my unborn daughter ,even when its keeping me awake in the middle of the night. To know that we are blessed to have a Lord that gives us all we need and more, even when the things we hold dearest are taken away.

S

4 comments:

Josh Buck said...

Okay, I am honored that my daughter's name was your blog caption. I was touched to read what you have to say. I is very encouraging to hear how God is using Ava for his glory. I loved catching up on your blog. Love the Caroline and love the name Catherine. Josh and I talked about naming Zoe Catherine. We still didn't have a name in the delivery room. When she came out we deemed her Zoe. Hope you're doing well and feeling okay as the due date moves closer!!
Shelly

Susan said...

Hi Shelly!
Thanks for your comments, I know we don't each other very well, but God constantly pops you into my head and I stop everything to pray, lately its been alot in the early am, like 4am! I am feeling great and can't wait to meet Caroline, we decided on that ...I think! Take care of yourself!

S

Jason Grate- Ordinary Extraordinary- Simple Stories of Lessons learned said...

Hey Susan. I too was pleasantly surprised to see your blog caption. What a miracle little Ava was and is. Thanks for your prayers for our family and we'll pray for the safe of arrival of your little Caroline. LOVE the name!

Holly said...

I remember that day too. I remember thinking, why?? how?? I guess, that's when I started worring about all the things that could go wrong in the every day. You never think something like that will happen to you or a close friend, but when it does, it just rocks your world. I still don't know how Shelly and Josh do it, make it through the days! They're in my thoughts and prayers though!