Tomorrow is Jeff's 43rd birthday. As Jeff entered his 40's I always knew he was nervous about it. His own father died at 46. He was always nervous about it all. Now that his ultimate worry has been realized. Literally dying ,and coming back, I am not sure how he feels about it all. He has always been a quiet man, my Jeff. A man of few ,but poignant words. His words have not yet come about all of this and likely, when they do, I won't share them here. I have plenty of thoughts and words that have come ,but I am realizing that perhaps they are best not shared here either. It has been a month of busy, busy, busy. Medical appointments, bad news, plans, medicines, and resting and recouping. Jeff found out that he has a pretty rare clotting disorder, two factors, inherited from both parents. He will be a lifer as far a blood thinners go. We are most likely going to go to a larger medical center for a second opinion to make sure we are doing all we can. This past month has been so many mix of emotions. Grueling, exhausting, frustrating, and terrifying. But, also supportive, loving, kind, merciful, redemptive, and healing. For every bad moment, a good one followed. We have been blessed with meals, gift cards, groceries, prayers, hugs, and love. This season will bring forth great growth, I have no doubt. I continue to be so grateful to God's mercy to us and especially me as I strongly feel He has been preparing me for a season such as this.
I won't lie, the thought of going back to work on Monday nearly terrifies me. It seems its been so long, it seems the work is too hard. But, then I realize, I have been given a gift. The gift of knowing what it is like for patients and families that are walking in similar shoes such as ours. The frustrations of the United State's health care system, I KNOW them. The FEELING of having yet another doctor walk into a room and NOT KNOW a single thing about my husband's health...what in the hell??? Beyond frustrating. I am sure that I am known in my husband's work place, that happens to be his healthcare system as well, that you don't mess with Susan Simpson. Good Lord, do I wish I didn't have to make sure everyone was doing their job!
But, I would do it all, again and again, for my Jeff. March is a big month for us. We met in March, we dated in March, we thought," it will never work for us in March!"But, it did work, we are a great team. We are hopelessly flawed ,but we own and, it and ,love each other despite our weaknesses. In honor of his 43rd birthday I thought I would add 4 and 3 and come up with 7 things I love about Jeff. After all, March 7, 2017 will forever be a date we never forget, for it is the day that my Jeff left but returned to me, to us, and for that I will never take for granted or stop giving thanks for! Happy Birthday Jeffrey Arthur Simpson. The world, and our lives,would be nothing without you!!
7. His love of sports! Even though I am not a sports fan, I love how passionate my husband is about all things sports
6. His laid back attitude. Even now, in the face of all he's endured, he's all..Well, I didn't die, so that's good!!
5. His forgiving spirit. He loves me despite all my faults. And believe me, there are plenty!
4. He is a wonderful parent! Patient, calm, loving, fun and attentive!!!
3. My accountant! I like to poke fun but I love that he keeps us in line financially!
2. Great friend. A friend said to us during his ICU stay, Jeffy doesn't have one enemy! That IS SO true!! Everyone loves Jeff!
1. My rock! I can't even think about a life without Jeff at the helm. He is steady, calm, and brings out the best in me and our life!!! Happy birthday my love!!!!!