Sunday, May 12, 2013

Worst first day of work ever.

Many things have happened since I last posted. I graduated from WMU. I got my dream job as an ER social worker. Jeff and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary. I started my new job and made it about five hours before I promptly fainted, smashing my head into a cart when I fell,  cutting my head open, which required  five stitches to close. How did this happen? Did I see something horrible and bloody and awful? The simple answer to that is, no. Basically what happened is that ever since my surgery five years ago, I get spells of low blood sugar. I can tell they are coming on because I feel light headed, start to get sweaty, and usually have to sit down and wait it out. Because I had just started this job, I certainly didn't want to look like a slacker. I realize now perhaps slacker would have been better than "girl who faints". It truly was one of the most humiliating experiences in my life. When I fell, I lost consciousness for nearly a minute which required them to do a full workup of an EKG, catscan, bloodwork, and of course the stitches and i.v. that had to pump some heavy duty pain meds to cut the throbbing pain in my head. The staff was incredibly professional and understanding and tried to set my mind at ease. My job counterpart was truly awesome and I feel like we are fast friends after she had to help me do many personal things when they were doing all the tests. Nothing builds friendship like having a person you barely know help you take off your bra for an EKG!! Two days later, I have a pretty yucky cut, stitches, a concussion, lots of bruises, and a wounded ego. Yesterday I panicked and wondered if I could do this job? What if hadn't been low blood sugar? What if I can't handle all the trauma I will see in the ER?  I have never been someone who is grossed out easily or gets woozy from much but Thursday's events rattled me some and definitely had me doubting. After consulting with my friends, one who is a physicians assistant in the ER and another who is an ER attending physician, I don't think that is the case. I think it was a perfect storm of not enough sleep, adrenaline from starting a new job, low blood sugar, not sitting down and some crap bad luck. I go back to work on Monday. I have had the weekend to rest and am feeling better. Thanks to my wonderful husband, who has reassured me that it was just a fluke, and that I will learn the job and get used to the night shift, I am ready to begin again. At the end of the day, I can't change any of it. I am trying to laugh about it. I will admit it makes for a great story and forever more when people ask me how I got the scar above my eyebrow, I can say, "Oh that? Now that is a great story!" Isn't that what life is all about? Taking some of the crappier moments in life and making them just a part of a great story? Here's hoping!

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