Hi
Today at my mom's Bible study I disclosed that I was just feeling not as connected to Caroline as I would hope. I have been feeling so guilty about this. I mean of course I love her more than I could say but I feel more obligated to her than I felt with Matthew. Now of course with your first your able to be more laid back, catch up on your sleep when they do, and just enjoy them more. I feel like I am just now enjoying her. Up until now I have felt like she was something on my to do list. I am sure some of you are thinking I am a horrible mom. But, I have a friend who also has two kids close together and she said the same thing and when I was telling everyone this morning how I was feeling they all looked at me like they understood. That or they were just being nice:)
I have to say that just a few minutes ago, after she nursed, she was so alert and smiling and I felt so in love with her. I guess its just the adjustment, the lack of sleep, the crazy 19month old who has taken to climbing all over everything, the gloomy, cold days that get to me sometimes.
CHRISTMAS IS COMING though and I love Christmas so all is well in the world!
s
1 comment:
I know the feeling, and even though you may not think it's part of post partum depression b/c you don't feel "depressed", it very well could be. Some women get over it on their own and some don't. I needed lexapro, and it worked WONDERS! I'll be praying that you feel bonded w/your little one here soon!!! She is a CUTIE by the way :)
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